Jump to content

Recommended Posts

HAL9000 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Meanwhile, in one of many Everett-Wheeler

> alternative realities, a young superposition of

> our heroine was gently caressing a kiwi fruit...



...in order to "warm" it up ready for lobbing at HAL9000 at the speed of pairs of quantum-mechanically entangled particles just catching him milliseconds (with a massive splat in his fat cheeky face) before his current life takes another direction towards another branching universe.

The Kiwi bear is unhappy having his fruit thrown away, so chooses a grape from a stall in the road market, being a well trained bear he washes it in the nearby watering can, eating it he projects the pips in the direction of a passing woman with her nose held high attracts a prominant target, the woman gets into her RR car as the chauffeur holds open the door, but the now slippery woman being in the nude slips on the leather seat and is ejected out the other open door that the greengrocer is placing inside her shopping, landing on bags of greenpeas.
HAL is actually orbiting the earth...I eventually lost all patience with him and rocket launched him far into space where the earth's gravitational pull has caused him to orbit like another moon. In fact, if ever you spot a partial eclipse of the sun which looks as though our stellar orb looks as though a postage stamp has been affixed to it, it is the HAL9000 computer passing by looking down on us. And if you happen to be in the Atacama desert in northern Chile at the time and you have the opportunity to view this phenomenon through the Very Large Telescope you might just be able to see a little twinkling of his (one) eye.

While the Blue Danube plays softly in the background, HAL9000's kiwi-fruit shaped launch vehicle docks smoothly with the bagle-shaped Starbucks space station. One small step for man, one giant shag for a computer!


I'll be in orbit for a week or so - don't have me doing anything you wouldn't do!

Ladymuck can't get there quick enough and turbo boosts the comet. DJKQ gets distracted by yet another licensing issue and returns to planet earth..................whooooooosh................


*waits for LM to throw everything within range at me and then legs it back to current issues*

* meanwhile *



Prince Philip eases himself in to a "talced" black latex suit


"Come on gel, zip me up"


" hmmm hmm vvmmm hmm " say's the Queen


( she is wearing a gas mask here)



* there's a knock at the door *



"Oh bugger, who can that be " say's Philip


" hmmm hmm vvmmm hmm " say's the Queen , whilst looking through the key hole


" WHO "


" hmmm hmm vvmmm hmm " say's the Queen ( pointing to a picture of Nelson Mandela )


* Philip hides in a suit of armor *



W**F

ArtVandelay Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> * meanwhile *

>

> someone is STILL knocking at the door, a talc

> salesman by the looks of it

____________________________________


" Does Mr.Mandela sell talc now " signed the Queen in "Makanan"


Philip ( looking through the visor ) shifts his eyes left & right; signaling "How should I know "


The Queen lights a cigarette & slumps down onto the bed


"Philip, things are not like they used to be" she signs


He flips down the visor & taps out "No dear" in morse code


* the door is knocked again *


" Ahh pleeze wooda you conshider aaaa lettin me iiiin, as Iiii amm aaa nakeed "

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • Has anyone else experienced bites lately? I've been bitten for the last 5 evenings at home & have no idea why? No one else seems to be affected at home which is good news but it's really getting frustrating. Is anyone else experiencing anything like this? It always seems to be around 7pm as if it's dinner time & I'm on the menu.  
    • There are various evening sewing courses at the Thomas Calton Centre in Peckham. Check out the Southwark Adult learning website for details
    • Does anyone know what the plans are for the old Harvester?  What are Dulwich Estate going to do with the plot/building?
    • I also thoroughly recommend Aston. He was super helpful over the phone helping us work out what we needed, was able to fit us in really quickly, and they were so lovely, professional, knowledgable and did a great job. They built some custom fitted shelves for us, mounted our tv on the wall and put together some big ikea furniture that had been taken apart and looked like there was no hope putting back together again but they managed to! Fully recommend 
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...