Jump to content

Recommended Posts

HAL9000 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Meanwhile, in one of many Everett-Wheeler

> alternative realities, a young superposition of

> our heroine was gently caressing a kiwi fruit...



...in order to "warm" it up ready for lobbing at HAL9000 at the speed of pairs of quantum-mechanically entangled particles just catching him milliseconds (with a massive splat in his fat cheeky face) before his current life takes another direction towards another branching universe.

The Kiwi bear is unhappy having his fruit thrown away, so chooses a grape from a stall in the road market, being a well trained bear he washes it in the nearby watering can, eating it he projects the pips in the direction of a passing woman with her nose held high attracts a prominant target, the woman gets into her RR car as the chauffeur holds open the door, but the now slippery woman being in the nude slips on the leather seat and is ejected out the other open door that the greengrocer is placing inside her shopping, landing on bags of greenpeas.
HAL is actually orbiting the earth...I eventually lost all patience with him and rocket launched him far into space where the earth's gravitational pull has caused him to orbit like another moon. In fact, if ever you spot a partial eclipse of the sun which looks as though our stellar orb looks as though a postage stamp has been affixed to it, it is the HAL9000 computer passing by looking down on us. And if you happen to be in the Atacama desert in northern Chile at the time and you have the opportunity to view this phenomenon through the Very Large Telescope you might just be able to see a little twinkling of his (one) eye.

While the Blue Danube plays softly in the background, HAL9000's kiwi-fruit shaped launch vehicle docks smoothly with the bagle-shaped Starbucks space station. One small step for man, one giant shag for a computer!


I'll be in orbit for a week or so - don't have me doing anything you wouldn't do!

Ladymuck can't get there quick enough and turbo boosts the comet. DJKQ gets distracted by yet another licensing issue and returns to planet earth..................whooooooosh................


*waits for LM to throw everything within range at me and then legs it back to current issues*

* meanwhile *



Prince Philip eases himself in to a "talced" black latex suit


"Come on gel, zip me up"


" hmmm hmm vvmmm hmm " say's the Queen


( she is wearing a gas mask here)



* there's a knock at the door *



"Oh bugger, who can that be " say's Philip


" hmmm hmm vvmmm hmm " say's the Queen , whilst looking through the key hole


" WHO "


" hmmm hmm vvmmm hmm " say's the Queen ( pointing to a picture of Nelson Mandela )


* Philip hides in a suit of armor *



W**F

ArtVandelay Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> * meanwhile *

>

> someone is STILL knocking at the door, a talc

> salesman by the looks of it

____________________________________


" Does Mr.Mandela sell talc now " signed the Queen in "Makanan"


Philip ( looking through the visor ) shifts his eyes left & right; signaling "How should I know "


The Queen lights a cigarette & slumps down onto the bed


"Philip, things are not like they used to be" she signs


He flips down the visor & taps out "No dear" in morse code


* the door is knocked again *


" Ahh pleeze wooda you conshider aaaa lettin me iiiin, as Iiii amm aaa nakeed "

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • It very well may be the cat that lives at Neighbourhood vet?
    • He/she followed me and my friends quite a long way along the road so we worried they might be out of their catchment area. Quite dusty paws which also made me think perhaps they’d been roaming away from home for a few days. Took photos in case anyone is missing them! Very pretty, friendly long-haired black and white cat, leopard print collar, pink paw-print metal tag. They eventually stopped following us across the road from Mrs Robinson.
    • I took it to mean that he was going to present all sides of the argument (for want of a better term) rather than just giving his own opinion. I didn't take it to mean that he was calling "his own views" balanced.
    • I just did this survey. There are a number of problems with it. For example, in at least two questions you have an option "other, please specify" but there is no way to specify what the "other" is. Also, you have several questions where if you have nothing appropriate to answer, you get a statement "this is a required question", or words to that effect, so you have to put in something like "nothing" in order to move on. Can I suggest that this is likely to confuse people so they just give up half way through? Maybe you should test it out on a few people before going "live" with it?
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...