Wedding first dance and pre marriage counselling recommendations

[Blueskye]

Hi there! Does anyone have recommendations for either pre marriage (non religious) counselling and first dance companies in this area or SE? Thanks

[pop9770]

Some advice from my friends and family ie 100s of years of experience

Options are

1. Don't get married

2. Go polyamorous marriage

3. Live like a Victorian

IMHO You should both watch this before you go and see a counselor

[rendelharris]

Good God.

No recommendations I'm afraid but I'd like to take the liberty of wishing you the very best of luck as a counterbalance to the previous. Best thing I ever did, don't know if the Mrs agrees of course...

[pop9770]

rendelharris

Sounds like you have a Victorian marriage moneys on the Mrs shagging her tennis coach or someone through work

If not you're one in a million ...

;)

Romantics it starts out all Mills and Boon and ends up in court with a big legal bill.

[rendelharris]

You're not really very nice, are you?

[pop9770]

What's nice someone who tells you everything is fairytales or someone who tells you the Truth?

Did you watch the youtube video I linked?

Here it is again

[rendelharris]

Your truth is not everyone's. Blueskye, apologies for hijacking, I shall leave this alone now - once again the very best of luck and ignore the haters.

[pop9770]

I'm not a hater I'm a realist.

If you're going to commit yourself to a voluntary life sentence then it's best to go into it with your eyes wide open,, the OP appears to understand that wanting pre marriage councilling is a great idea,,, they appreciate it's probably better not to leave it to luck..

Really hope they are happy ever after, for that outcome many factors need consideration I'm only offering a realistic route to getting all those factors out in the open.

Maybe watch the youtube video before you assume ?

[clockworkorange]

Bore off pop...

Go big and original on the first dance. Dont go mushy. Show your personality in it.

We had a jungle track. We smashed it. Everybody loved it and remembers it.

Premarriage counselling- they become the person you proposed to/agreed to Marry about 30seconds after you say "I do". Dont panic just yet if you're fearing the wedding planning has changed them! They'll return to normal...

[malleymoo]

Blue Skye. There is a local company Just Dance who I would recommend. They do wedding dances as well as run some fantastic Zumba and Dance classes locally. Fi and Dommie are creative and really good at nurturing less experienced dancers. This is the website address http://justdanceuk.com/

[johnie]

No, you're a hater

[pop9770]

johnie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> No, you're a hater

Have you even watched the video I linked to?

It's not hateful or boring it's real fun and ends on in positive way.

Calling me hater is hatefully..

[Earl Aelfheah]

He really wants you to watch the video

[pop9770]

Yep it's good.

Everyone should watch it.

:)

It's free too.

[Earl Aelfheah]

I am not sure you've watched it tbh. He commends marriage, and is rather dismissive of polyamory..Just suggests people understand the trade offs, are self aware, realistic in their expectations and good humoured.

[Jah Lush]

90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house. The rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.?

[pop9770]

I'm not recommending any of the three options I listed, I'm recommending a video :)

As a first step before spending money on pre marriage counselling.

My view is marriage was invented at a time when peoples life expectancy was low 30ish years, doesn't really match with todays reality. Imho

But if you're going to do it may as well be fully armed with the reality of the romantic delusion.

[malumbu]

I'll watch the whole thing another time.

From my perspective much of it is driven by endorphins early in a relationship. Difficult to keep that going all your life!

Here's a nice clip

www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_kI5Xh4zxo

I hope I haven't offended anyone, not this time at least!

[Earl Aelfheah]

He's right about Morrissey and Bach. Embrace your melancholy.

[Earl Aelfheah]

Everything he says is common sense. I think he actually does your average person a massive disservice in thinking they're more naive than is the case

[Grok]

If you need pre-marriage counselling, (Lordy, whatever next), then do not get married, simple as that. Sorts out the first dance 'dilemma'!

As for a jungle track dance being "smashed" and "remembered", well I am utterly sure it was..

[pop9770]

rahrahrah Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Everything he says is common sense. I think he

> actually does your average person a massive

> disservice in thinking they're more naive than is

> the case

hahaha

Don't for one minute underestimate how naive young and old "in love" people are.

A modern day philosopher who has his finger bang on the pulse of our "modern" world vs some councilor?

[JohnL]

pop9770 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Some advice from my friends and family ie 100s of

> years of experience

>

> Options are

> 1. Don't get married

> 2. Go polyamorous marriage

> 3. Live like a Victorian

>

> IMHO You should both watch this before you go and

> see a counselor

>

>

I'm covering up the chair legs at the moment (for option 3)

[Mick Mac]

We got pre marriage counselling from a priest (compulsory if you are getting married in a catholic church, which I only did to keep my parents happy). Not sure how much he knew would / could know about marriage though.

He basically said, you will have a fair few arguments. Don't expect the perfect love-in to last forever. Learn to get through the difficult periods as best you can.

Having said that I'm not sure how much he knew about marriage, it turns out he knows all about it.

There are quite a few failed marriages in ED - so to be honest you might love the person forever and you might not. Be ready for some difficult times, but all in all it's definitely worth it. Particularly if you have children, they bring their own pressures, massive lifestyle changes, hard work and great joys and rewards. Its a team effort.

[malumbu]

Mate went to a Catholic Boarding School. Funnily enough the priests did a lot better at explaining sex education than the head teacher. That isn't saying anything more than what you said above (ie just because you don't partake doesn't mean you can't advise)