Advice for New Mum Needed

[Ellie78]

One of my closest friends has just given birth to her first child, a beautiful boy. Hurray.

I'm away on work and I want to get her something just for her, rather than for the baby. She went through what sounds like a horrific labour (at 36 hours) and she's obviously exhausted.

If anyone has any advice I'd really appreciate it - I know there are lots of new mums in ED who might be able to tell me from experience what was appreciated by them.

Only condition - it has to be something that can be delivered.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

A whole Brie cheese - that's what I missed most during pregnancy (and liver - but that's not to everyone's taste!).

Maybe a spa day voucher? Something to look forward to when she's recovered.

Or if you want to be more personal, make a personalised baby sitting voucher to be redeemed when she's confident leaving the baby so she and hubby can get some time together.

Or if you really want to splash out - maybe a week's worth of dinners that can be frozen so she/hubby don't have to think about what to do for supper.

[Moos]

Food is a great idea.

After I'd had my son, I got given lots of bubble bath and pampering thingies, etc. "so you can have some well-deserved me time" but the trouble was there was no time for me time, so they never got used.

[ludoscotts]

hi food is good, my work friends paid for a voucher for a chef/restaurant meal. You picked what you wanted online and it was delivered to the door, bit like a take-out but restaurant standard, was lovely treat once we had got into a routine.

[LoopyMum]

Voucher for spa day definitely - a much better option than little bath time treats she won't get to enjoy. This way she can take time out, refresh and enjoy a whole day away.

I got one as a special treat (Red letter days) the voucher permitted me to bring a friend too - we had a fantastic day that I will never forget. ;-)

[snowboarder]

'Cook' (one in in W Dulwich) do vouchers you can get online for pre prepared meals.

I got bath stuff etc too and lovely though it was it has never been used - and spa day thingies not great for b/feeding mums IMO as it's ages before you can leave the baby for any length of time - but you will know what she is like and whether she would love that kind of thing!

How about a night nanny for a couple of nights so she can sleep....Ahhhh!

[The Nappy Lady]

An offer to go shopping with her for a day, whenever she feels like she needs to go - with you there to hold baby, fetch stuff from floor to dressing room if sizes are wrong etc.

Seriously, I find it REALLY hard to attempt to go shopping with a child under about 4 years old, and combine this with feeling like none of your clothes fit / seasons changing etc. and it is so depressing.

A few new clothes, that you love, even if in a bigger size than you'd ideally like can make a world of difference...and actually having time to try them on...even if you were close by, but in a cafe with baby sleeping etc.....would be wonderful IMO...but again, depends on the sort of person she is.

Molly

[Kes]

After a similarly long and exhausting labour I think the gifts I appreciated most were food! My Husband did his best but didn't have time or energy for loads of shopping and cooking.

I agree on bath stuff, nice thought but I still have it all a year on!

Recently had a spa day, it was lovely, but as someone else has said if she's breast feeding it'll be a while until that's feasible.

I think the shopping idea is lovely, Debenhams and I think John lewis on oxford street have personal shoppers, it's free but means you get to sit in a nice big private fitting room away from all the other shoppers and have stuff brought to you. I did it recently when I needed a dress for a wedding and it was so much nicer than trying to fight through the shop with a buggy. years ago I had a voucher for a similar thing at top shop, it included a mini manicure and lunch for me and a friend - would depend on your friends clothes choice of course, not sure I could face top shop any more!

K

[Belle]

We were given (and I've subsequently done the same for other friends) a basket of muffins and fruit from the Beverley Hills Bakery - there are various different options. You can get really quick delivery from them, and I found it fantastic to have nice fresh baked goodies (and some fruit to feel healthy too) - I would say it was nice to have things to offer the visitors but we finished the lot...everyone I've sent these to has loved them too.

[canadianlisa]

I liked food the best as well. My friend and mother in law made me lots of comfort foods- spag bol, shepherds pie etc. They really helped get me through the initial days. Massage voucher maybe- this would have felt like a more do-able alternative than a whole day at a spa (and cheaper). I really liked bath stuff actually as in the very early days I cherished the 1/2 hour at the end of the day that I had to myself in the bath.

I also appreciated friends coming to visit in the evenings when my partner was working. It was nice to have adult company, they usually brought wine and ordered a takeaway and held my daughter while I did some jobs or had a bath or rest. I would say most people get too many flowers as lovely as they are.

[sandy_rose]

I agree re spa day vouchers, bit of a waste on a breastfeeding mum. However, I would love to have had a massage or other treatment, either locally or by a mobile therapist at my home. The other great option is food, Cook do gift vouchers and a freezer full of their yummy foods would be bliss if she hasn't got people round to help her much. Wine and chocolate is also a pretty safe bet, or a voucher for a good internet shopping site such as the White company or Asos...it may be a while before she'll want to venture out to the shops but a new top is guaranteed to cheer her up.

[chuck]

My friend just had a baby and one of their friends sent them an entire Ocado delivery full of delicious cheeses, puddings and ready meals and fresh fruit. I have to say they thought it fantastic and such a help. I would have been delighted with it too. I got the basket of muffins and brownies when i had my child and that was great too.

[Fuschia]

I think taking an afternoon off work and popping round in a few weeks when she is on her own with the baby, with a portable deli lunch and then taking the baby out for a few hours for a walk while she has a bath and a nap, would be worth its weight in gold!

[Fidgetsmum]

Food. Without a doubt. The last thing you can think about is cooking or even eating sometimes. My dad arrived as a surprise(having driven 5 hours to see us) with a Harrods hamper (he's never normally even vaguely that generous!). But it had a whole chinese meal in it for my husband and I, some beer for him and a Guinness for me (that he'd added in!). It was the best present out of everything we got.

Recently a friend had a baby and we all created a Meals on Wheels rota for her. I know you are away so can't cook but why not organise them a takeaway even - it doesn't have to be posh but it makes a huge difference to not have to think about it.

Spa breaks are a lovely idea, but personally, I preferred the more immediate help than the longer term - I didn't take up the spa day I was given for over 6 months and when my daughter was a newborn, I couldn't actually see how I was ever going to be able to take it up!

[Fidgetsmum]

Just seen Chuck's Ocado idea - brilliant!

[Indiana]

My best present was a basket of muffins, cakes, biscuits from somewhere like that Beverly Hills bakery....a real treat !

[ladywotlunches]

Definitely another thumbs up for beverley hills bakery. Little LWL is literally a week old today, and I think there are just 3 muffins left (and they still taste fresh and yummy).

I too would like to say they were offered to visitors, but.... :)

[Saffron]

How big is your budget? Get your friend a post-natal doula, or a cleaner for a few weeks. Food is a great gift, as is your time. Deliveries are nice too, but can be a hassle. They say 'Sleep when the baby sleeps'. But it seemed that just as my head hit the pillow for some much needed late morning naptime, a signal went out to every delivery man within a mile to arrive at my door. So if you can arrange deliveries for a time when someone else will be there to accept them, that could be helpful too.

x Saff x

[Gussy]

OMG Beverly Hills Bakery is amazing. My work got me a tin and it had about 50 muffins in it. They were a real godsend :) Highly recommended!

[womanofdulwich]

i think taking the baby for a walk for an hour and leaving her behind to have some me time, coming back with a nice cake and making her a cup of tea and piece of cake is a fab present. i wish someone had done that for me.

[jac73]

I agree, food. We had loads of lovely presents which were of course, great. But some people made us a load of lovely, home cooked dishes which we froze and this was a life saver in the early days!

Best of luck to your friend :)

[Ellie78]

This is amazing. I couldn't find the thread - I thought it had been removed, as I posted it originally in the wanted section, I looked here on the off chance it had been moved and saw all these responses.

Wow - You've all been great. Thanks so much. I'm so glad I posted this - words of experience and wisdom!

She'll really appreciate it.

[MrsLL2b]

I think food,we often send a selection of meals for 2 from Cook- just check they have freezer space.but the ocado idea is brilliant and probably more flexible.

Also voucher for a mobile therapist who can come to her house to give her a massage.or if you are feeling flush a ngut nanny,or the cleaner idea is good.

Wish I had friends like you!