parents worries

[linzkg]

I know I don't officially currently live in ED (but will be back soonish) and its a compliment that I value the opinions here .. so ladies please don't shake your heads in despair (I know hubby is ;-) .. but the expat forum here is pretty formal and general (no feeling in it!)

So we were staying in an awesome spot on Vietnam's coast and had intended going diving - I had a small thought about hubby and I both being away from our son in a off land, under water, foreign country etc - but I dismissed it quickly. We're completely ok with leaving him in the hotel with a sitter as they're all so lovely and he's a friendly contented chap so has loads of fun. A day later my hubby mentioned the same thought .. so we decided not to go diving 'in case' something happened to us .. are we being silly? over reacting? will we ever feel ok about doing slightly 'wilder' sports? because of kids? He's only 15 months so maybe we're still newish parents ..

[Fuschia]

On holiday to France MrF, I and the twins were in our car and child no 1 was in MrF's brother's car... the occasional morbid thought crossed my mind

[sillywoman]

Poor you Linzkg, but your instinct is right. I know once I had kids I was still OK with putting me or my husband in slightly risky situations, but never together at the same time - just in case. Statistically the increased risk is probably not born out, but instinctively you both need to act to ensure that one of you will be around to protect & raise your babe. I guess it's natures way of ensuring survival of the species? Anyway I'd like to tell you that it gets easier to ignore the instinct as they get older, but if anything I've found the opposite to be true, possibly cos we've had more kids so the stakes are raised. Now, even traveling on Sensiblemans motorbike with him to the other side of London gives me pause for thought. Ah well, watch out adrenaline junkies cos I'll be coming to join you when the kids are grown.

[linzkg]

That's a good way of looking at it - I'll blame it on nature and natural instinct - not me being silly and overacting!! I'm hoping the kiddies will eventually join us on our pursuits too.

Over night we've even now discussed giving up our driver in a few months (giving us a while to settle into the local way of life) and swapping onto mopeds as the kids seem to behave naturally and safely on them.

Thanks :-)

[The Nappy Lady]

How is it generally - very different from what you expected?

[linzkg]

Molly - no, its what we were expecting - can't wait to get stuck in! A lot more expensive though .. they automatically put the "western" hat on you and assume you're rolling in it as your company pays for everything - but we're breaking them down so they're taking it easy on us - especially when it comes to house hunting (or 'villas' as they like to call them here) as they're not showing us the complete castles anymore but reasonable sized and manageable villas. The food is yummmmmmy. You'll have to come see for yourselves though ;-) ps, the girls will be celebrities here. x

[LoopyMum]

Hello ! Nice to see your still keeping in touch. Fantastic idea, at least this way you won't feel too home sick or

out of touch with your home town. Hope little man is settling in well & enjoy that scrummy cuisine. ;-)

[new mother]

Makes perfect sense - we would have gone one at a time.

Equally, though, it would have been to avoid using the local bbsitter. We would never leave the ch with someone we did not know inside out personally. Things do happen, one in a million, perhaps, but that's enough for me.

[Indiana]

Ha ha....didn't I say you would still be on the forum?!! Glad it's going well...good luck

[Polly D]

Ah good to hear from you, and glad you're settling in okay.

Totally natural and normal instinct to have re leaving the boy while you do something adventurous. There's a series on BBC1 at the mo, a 4 parter on Sunday nights in case you can get it on i-player, called Single Father. Mother of 4 kids gets killed on her bike, leaving Dad (David Tenant) to bring up the kids. I felt sick the whole way through watching it, decided never to cycle to work EVER again, and that I would start writing my son letters telling him what he's like and what I'm like so that if I died he would know (imagining that my husband would be a bit rubbish at that kind of thing). I even thought: "I know! I'll hide the letters in his red book and then they'll be found". I'm probably confessing a bit too much here, and I'm not even drunk, but irrational or not, the idea of leaving our bubs to fend for themselves is heartbreaking.

[linzkg]

Lou - darn, was hoping you'd miss this one ;-) Back to work soon hey - good luck x

Polly - we can't get iPlayer here (gutted as missed finale of Britain's next top model and my family's crazy gap year, can't watch Australia's masterchef ..) but that series does sound interesting, sad as well. Imagine its good for the men to watch too. Ha ha, I'm sure every mother lets that thought slip into their head at some stage - the 'what ifs' but letters are an interesting thought - even in general to write them for fun almost and your son can read them when he grows up regardless .. horrible thought though :-(

[Belle]

oh, reminds me of the heartbreaking letters ruth picardie wrote to her children, that are included at the end of Before I say Goodbye. I read it before I had kids - not sure I could read it again now.

[Helen GV]

i am forever thinking morbid thoughts! my latest plan is to set up email accounts for each child and send emails, perhaps have a hard copy somewhere but in any case leave the password etc with my sister...