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Ted Max Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> If Christmas spirit = tips on going shopping,

> basic car maintenance, and immolating the very

> young then I'm right there, Herod.

>

> Anyway, I'm not a fan of Christmas, I think it

> excludes the Islams and some of them Jewish

> fellers.


>

>

> PS Can I use frozen lemon juice on my car

> headlamps? I am following your tips in order and

> have got confused.


Don't the Islammys and jewishy fellows like Christmas? Bah hum bug!....I feel a Crusade calling!


Lemon juice is good for cleaning blood off your car bonnet from all those little kiddies killed.

Dont drink and drive,use phones.or overload your car with passengers,at Christmas.Options are are a reliable sober

driver.

Mini cabs,takis.

If your guest are expected to stay,buying blow up mattresses from Argos are a good idea.

Parties usually go on till dawn,clearing up ,you will need to remove the drunks out,open windows for blast of fresh

air.

Anyone capable should be enlisted to clean up and help with breakfast.

Dont forget Febreze spray. Very important.

If you are legless, mission failed.

Christmas at Tarot's.


Legless child-neglecting motorists slumped on a surfeit of Argos mattresses, draped in broken plastic garlands. Febreze lingers over a marshmallow choked grandma. No Islams. Jews welcome, as long as they're the proto-Christian sacrificial kind.


Plenty of Takis, though. So some hope for literary redemption, at least.

daizie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> CHRISTMAS PARTY TIP. Asking for a kiss under the

> Cameltoe is NEVER acceptable


Brilliant daizie!


Thanks very much for the tips Tarot, the lemon juice worked on the headlights!


Great to see the festive spirit, keep it!

To make family/friends games more fun at Christmas.

Have a lucky dip of prizes in a box for the winners of games.toys puzzles, pens ,any small item. blue paper and pink to define the gender.

For older party people bottles of wine,chocolate,what ever you can think of.

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