Captain Scarlet

Sounds Like the Brown Tail Moth Caterpiller.....Did you you see any Spiderweb type tents In shrub bushs or low trees when you was walking your dogs? A single Caterpiller hair caught in your clothing can cause severe irritation to the skin and in some cases temporarily blindness if hair makes eye contact. see Doctor or get antihistamine cream.

Dont forget to Smoke your Fags In work time also.

I have seen some young girls with Botox lips Bigger then Mick Jaggers! Sadly.

The Poles I have met have been hard working decent people,I have had repairs done to my house by a Polish Builder I was given a quote for the work and a time period for completion.No problems whatsoever! Afraid I cannot say the same for Uk Builder I had used before! ripped off and cheated. My mother inlaw used to have a Polish Cleaner also, who was a really helpfull and put herself out of her way to help......So I do not have any problems for a cleaner to use our welfare system! makes a change from the scroungers and Welfare fiddlers.

Ps.....Wales and peckham should be wiped from the uk too.

Dont count....only Scousers! let them drindle away.

Was he Bumming a Dalek?

Here is a tip!..................GET A LIFE!

I love girls with Huge botox lips!

Nah..Joke forum is a great place for trollin!

Download from a Torrent site...Vuze....Series 5 is Bad ass!

You poor Sheep!......BARRRRRRRR

A girlfriend sends text to her boyfriend... If you are sleeping....send me your dreams If you are laughing....send me your smile If you are crying.....send me your tears Bloke responds: I'm having a shit What do i do?

A man was laying in bed with his new girlfriend. After having great sex, she spent the next hour just scratching his nuts-- something she seemed to love to do. As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, 'Why do you love doing that?' 'Because,' she replied, 'I really miss mine.

Barman is locking up at the end of a busy Christmas Eve. There's a knock on the door and he opens it to find a tramp standing there. 'Got any cocktail sticks mate?' says tramp. Barman hands one over and off the tramp goes. Then there's another knock on the door, another tramp asks for a cocktail stick. Soon there's a third knock at the door, barman opens it to find yet another tramp. 'Got any straws mate?' says tramp no 3. Barman gets a straw and as he hands it over asks 'why don't you want a cocktail stick like the others?' tramp says 'Somebody has been sick on the pavement but all the lumpy bits have gone!'

Lost the dog while out last night, and spent 2 hours wandering round looking for him. My wife said I should look harder! So today I shaved my head and got a tattoo, but I still can't find the feckin dog!

Not bad for for a old Car comming from Nazi Germany from 1936[Vw beetle] plenty of VW clubs in Uk and London.Just google.

Help-Ma-Boab Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Now, where on earth can one source enough urine > from without putting in the hard yards yourself? > ......Hang on a minute.... > > Captain Scarlet Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > Soak in Urine...Cleans and Makes the leather > > supple and stronger. > > when dry,use chessnut oil to waterproof and > bring > > back shine. Go to local stables and use Horse Urine collected in a bucket.

Bloke walks into a pub with a newt on his shoulder, says; "a pint of bitter and a packet of crisps for tiny please" barman says: "why do you call him tiny?" "well, he's my newt"

After landing myself in Jail...........I spent the first 4 hours getting relentlessly bummed...........i think my dad takes monopoly far to seriously..!!!!!!!!!

Well,lets be honest,Fabio Capello isn't the first Italian to abandon a sinking ship.

NEWS FLASH: Elton John Has applied for the vacant England Managers job after hearing two of the forwards were Young and Bent!

Soak in Urine...Cleans and Makes the leather supple and stronger. when dry,use chessnut oil to waterproof and bring back shine.

Man walks into Ann Summers to purchase some see-through lingerie for the wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from ?50 to ?150 in price, the more see-through, the higher the price; he opts for the sheerest item, pays the ?150 and takes the lingerie home. Presents it to the wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him. Upstairs the wife thinks 'I have an idea. It's so see-through that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on - I'll do the modelling naked, return it tomorrow, get a ?150 refund and keep the money for myself'. So she appears naked at the top of the stairs and strikes a pose. The husband says; 'Stone me, it wasn't that creased in the shop'. His funeral is this Thursday.

A friend called round last night, while we were drinking coffee and chatting he mentioned that he had been to the cinema to see "The iron lady", he told me it was a brilliantly scripted, wonderfully acted, fantastically set movie that he would recommended to any one and was well worth watching even though it has a sad and tragic ending . She lives