Christmas Tips.

[Tarot]

If you know of someone who shares the same birthday with the son of God. Make sure you give them a present wrapped in birthday gift paper, and not Christmas paper.

They do need a christmas present too, no cuttig corners.

[Captain Scarlet]

Ted Max Wrote:

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> If Christmas spirit = tips on going shopping,

> basic car maintenance, and immolating the very

> young then I'm right there, Herod.

>

> Anyway, I'm not a fan of Christmas, I think it

> excludes the Islams and some of them Jewish

> fellers.

>

>

> PS Can I use frozen lemon juice on my car

> headlamps? I am following your tips in order and

> have got confused.

Don't the Islammys and jewishy fellows like Christmas? Bah hum bug!....I feel a Crusade calling!

Lemon juice is good for cleaning blood off your car bonnet from all those little kiddies killed.

[Tarot]

Dont drink and drive,use phones.or overload your car with passengers,at Christmas.Options are are a reliable sober

driver.

Mini cabs,takis.

If your guest are expected to stay,buying blow up mattresses from Argos are a good idea.

Parties usually go on till dawn,clearing up ,you will need to remove the drunks out,open windows for blast of fresh

air.

Anyone capable should be enlisted to clean up and help with breakfast.

Dont forget Febreze spray. Very important.

If you are legless, mission failed.

[daizie]

CHRISTMAS PARTY TIP. Asking for a kiss under the Cameltoe is NEVER acceptable

[Tarot]

Dazie never kiss a camel, it carries a V.D.virus in its saliva.

[Tarot]

Same boring old party venue.

Have a change and make it fancy dress.

Latest trend is the era of the twenties.

if not vampires are fun.

[HAL9000]

Tarot Wrote:

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> Dazie never kiss a camel, it carries a V.D.virus

> in its saliva.

Tarot never kiss a cameltoe, it carries a VD virus in its vulva.

[Ted Max]

Christmas at Tarot's.

Legless child-neglecting motorists slumped on a surfeit of Argos mattresses, draped in broken plastic garlands. Febreze lingers over a marshmallow choked grandma. No Islams. Jews welcome, as long as they're the proto-Christian sacrificial kind.

Plenty of Takis, though. So some hope for literary redemption, at least.

[Jah Lush]

[Tarot]

Dont invite loud ,agressive,opionated people at your Christmas celebrations.

Let them grind their axe,babbling to any other idiot who shares their views.

[Jah Lush]

Right! That's you of my list then Tarot.

[Tarot]

As for Tarots home" Let it be said of him,that he knew how to keep Christmas well"

[Tarot]

Jah Lush you dont offend me in any way. Top man.

[????]

Tarot Wrote:

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> Dont invite loud ,agressive,opionated people at

> your Christmas celebrations.

> Let them grind their axe,babbling to any other

> idiot who shares their views.

That's the Xmas Forum drinks buggered then

[Tarot]

I,m off to Kings Lyn so wont be there, babble on though,

If you want a laugh, with your snoopy other half,trying to sneak a look at their present .

Try this, you get loads of paper and wrap it in layers and hide it.

,

[Captain Scarlet]

I love your Christmas tips Tarot..sod the scrooges on here!

[Ms_Lilith]

daizie Wrote:

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> CHRISTMAS PARTY TIP. Asking for a kiss under the

> Cameltoe is NEVER acceptable

Brilliant daizie!

Thanks very much for the tips Tarot, the lemon juice worked on the headlights!

Great to see the festive spirit, keep it!

[Tarot]

Just for you Miss Lilith;

"Never let a fool kiss you,and never let a kiss fool you",

[Tarot]

Dont eat any skinned white brazil nuts, given to you by old ladies.

[Tarot]

Cooking foil makes good wrapping paper for presents.

[Tarot]

After a conversation with some younger ladies, I was told a nice present for Christmas would be a sewing machine,as

there is a revival in making clothes,same with Knitting, apparently its a new art form.

So that told me.

[Tarot]

A lot cheaper gift for craft people would be a nice book, or magazine subscription if they live far away.

[Tarot]

To make family/friends games more fun at Christmas.

Have a lucky dip of prizes in a box for the winners of games.toys puzzles, pens ,any small item. blue paper and pink to define the gender.

For older party people bottles of wine,chocolate,what ever you can think of.

[Tarot]

For people you know far away,you could put a phone voucher in with their Christmas cards, before the last postal time

of course.

For gardeners you could put a packet of flower seeds in with their cards.

[Tarot]

A small present as a token for a friend,would be a diary and pen for ladies and girls, or address books small but a

nice gesture.

Also a good penset or calculators,is als well recieved by the boys and men.