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Jenny Eclair's house

downsouth

By downsouth
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Alan Dale

Alan Dale

Posted
Posted

"Camberwell Beauty is the story of Anna, a butter-side-up sort of woman; Anna's neighbour Jo, the kind of woman who can ask for a pound of sausages without the butcher smirking; their sons and daughters ? nancy-boy Jed, snivelling Henry, prepubescent ?berbitch Georgina and fat Pandora; Jo's husband Nigel, a terrible one for casual sex; and Anna's husband 'good old Chris', the worm that turns.


From ageing to in-laws, affairs to weight problems, Jenny Eclair's debut novel brilliantly dissects the problems of urban living."

Alan Dale

Alan Dale

Posted
Posted

The first time the Cunninghams and the Metcalfs went on holiday, Jed was just a toddler and Anna was very frightened that he might drown. Jo had hired a villa in the north of Majorca with a pool, which was marvellous but meant, of course, that there had to be an adult lifeguard on duty at all times.


Nigel was also rather worried about going to Majorca; he?d been to Magaluf as a teenager and the pal he?d gone with had returned home with genital warts. Genital warts were one of Nigel?s phobias, they had to be burnt off and can re-occur for life. To Nigel, the mere mention of Majorca conjured up sexually transmitted disease. His suspicions were confirmed when they boarded the plane at Gatwick, only to find it was full of Sun-reading common types, demanding lager on a 10am flight - and that was just the women. Nigel thought they all looked like they were riddled with genital warts.

mockney piers

mockney piers

Posted
Posted

They are pretty much the only ones we have though. Terry jones is, of course, untouchable.


Nice change though. My favourite local here used to be the Hawley Arms, and then these talentless* horrors decided to make it their favourite haunt.

ED/Camberwell should consider itself fortunate.


*actually i quite like wossisname from the mighty boosh, so I'll make an exception for him.

Alan Dale

Alan Dale

Posted
Posted

*Bob* Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> You may flagmark her dubious literary opener by

> way of a diversion, Alan. But the truth is much

> closer to home. ie - her home.. and your home.



Sorry *Bob* - I missed this before. I guess that you are saying that I am slagging off Eclair because I live in a 2 bed 80s house at the bottom of the hill and she lives in a five bed designer house at the top of the hill and therefore I am jealous.


Is that right?

Alan Dale

Alan Dale

Posted
Posted

That logic would make me jealous of Mikey Carrol.


My problem with Eclair is that she publicly slates Camberwell. I don't mind when you do it but you don't live here. I did get a bit upset when Mockney did it.


You seem to be a bit of a paradox to me. Whilst you have a massive hard-on for mediocre celebrities cashing in through shiddy books and unfunny comedy you have a huge downer on highly educated investment bankers cashing in on their wealth generating success.


Similarly, whilst you bemoan capitalism and its harmful environmental side effects you also seem to be one of the most wealth obsessed housing snobs on the forum.


Are you jealous of Mikey Carrol *Bob*?

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