Constant feeding overnight

[katycameron]

I have a very clingy 10 week old, by day she will only sleep in a sling or on the boob, but feeds roughly every 3 hours. By night she is co-sleeping and seems to feed constantly. She comes to bed with me between 10-11 and I always have to feed her to sleep, I then usually get her to sleep for 2-3hrs but after that she tends to graze all night, last night she was on the boob from 2-6am! I feed her lying down so am able to doze but she often needs help latching on which wakes me up. As a result by morning both of us are exhausted! I have tried a dummy as I am sure she is only comfort sucking, but she is really not keen. I am becoming increasingly tired during the day and finding it harder and harder to get up and out. I am aware I have all sorts of 'bad habits' to deal with at some stage (feeding to sleep, co-sleeping, sling sleeping to name a few) but I guess I feel she is still so little and needy that having her close feels like the right thing to do at this stage.

I guess I was just wondering if this is normal, and for someone to tell me this time will pass!!

Edited to add that feeding more frequently during the evening makes no difference at all.

[Ruth_Baldock]

Could be one of several things:

1) Comfort feeding, like you suspected.

2) Growth Spurt

or

3) She can 'smell' the milk and fancies a tasty snack. My son did this and I night weaned him but you can only do that when they're a bit older (sorry, know this isn't what you want to hear). It sometimes helped wearing a different bra, with pads, and t-shirt to bed than I had in the day, and putting a pillow between us. It also helped to call up my husband, cry, and demand he came home so I could nap.

Not bad habits at all, we all just wing it when we have little babbies. I know I did (ahem, still do).

[bumpy]

Yes this time does pass. :)

It all depends on you & your baby and how you want to deal with things as I don't think there's a right or wrong way, just your way.

Hang in there and try and nap in the daytime when you can.

[poppy]

Sounds VERY familiar to me! I had exactly the same night-time co-sleeping marathon grazing sessions and yes, it is utterly, utterly exhausting. No advice really as I just muddled through (often rather tearfully) but just wanted to add my sympathies and reassure you that it definitely does pass! I also fretted constantly about "bad habits", especially as I didn't really want to co-sleep, but looking back I wish I'd just gone with the flow a bit more because at 10 weeks they are still so tiny. I was convinced I would die of tiredness and my baby would never, EVER learn to sleep, but he's a year now and touch wood, usually a great little sleeper and I finally feel like a human being again. It will get better!!

[GinaG3]

I sympathize with you a million times over. My daughter was exactly the same. She is a very clingy even in toddlerhood. I used to sit for 5-6 hours a time feeding. Lie in bed at night not able to move because my boob was constantly in her mouth or she wouldn't sleep. I'm really sorry to say this is something that just took time for her to grow out of. It became a lot easier at around 4 months and the feeds became more predictable and didn't last as long. As Ruth said it could be a number of things. I was happy to let my daughter comfort feed and even now at knocking on 2 I still feed her to sleep and let her comfort feed whenever she wants to. This is a personal preference, some parents choose not to allow their baby to do this. Browse around the Le Leche League forums for information and pro's and con's of allowing your baby to find comfort at your breast.

Your slap bang in the middle of one of the biggest early growth spurts, you may find this time very tiring but there is light at the end of the tunnel, we can all vouch for that. Best of luck.

[littleEDfamily]

I thought I was the only one! I am a human dummy! Our 5 month old wakes anytime from 10pm to 4am and from then on it's in our bed for an all night graze. Don't have the strength to deal with it right now (working on the day time naps at the moment and getting her to fall asleep in her cot -both going well). Weaning off boob during night is my next challenge.....

One tip, during the night, if I can't get comfortable (due to small baby being attached to me), once I have had enough, I leap over my hubby so he is next to her. She normally lets out a wee cry of complaint, but once I am further away and she can smell man rather than milk, she often goes back to sleep...

With my first, I would have been mortified that I had 'fallen into these traps', but I do think some going with the flow is required. I am telling myself that she won't be doing this at 2 years, or even probably at 9 months, so what the 'eck!

[echo]

I also had a similar experience with my first daughter, she LOVED to feed right through the night... You are not alone, and things will change...

My second daughter who is 3.5 months old, sleeps much more through the night and is a very different feeder. So I think a lot of this behaviour is their personality and perhaps needing more 'comfort' 'security' or what ever?? The pay off should be is that your child has a more secure atttachment to you, as their early needs were met unconditionally. I let you know when my daughter is an adult, what my full opinion is:)

I agree with GinaG3- it's your choice whether you allow your baby this comfort- I am still breast feeding my first at 2,5 years. My choice was to go with my first child's flow and allow things to change more naturally, although it has been hard work!!(but parenting is anyway) As a baby she used to only go to sleep next to me and feeding, now she sleeps in her own room after having some 'booby'.

On a practical level, I found using a co-sleeper cot useful, as it allowed me to feel safer sleeping whilst she fed. Also sleep during the day:)

Best of Luck

[Fuschia]

I think it's the way humans evolved... milk is richer and prolactin levels higher at night and as hunter/gatherers night was probably the quiet time for the baby to lie close to the mother and stock up (also being very close meant protection from wolves etc)

So there is nothing "bad" about cosleeping, drip feeding through the night etc etc... it's just one end of the continuum of approaches to aprenting, albeit radiclaly opposed to the "10 steps to sleeping through" approach that sells baby mags and reality TV.

I think as with m uch parenting, you do what feels right rather than adopting a theoretical position... and then when it no longer works for you, you have to amend it to suit the family.

x

[Fuschia]

But in answers to Katy's question, from my esperience she is unlikely to radiclaly change her preferences and stop with the all night milk bar unless you create something of a baerrier, but there are gentle approaches to night time parenting - look at Elizabeth Pantley, William Sears and Jay Gordon.

[Fuschia]

http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning-night.html

http://pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071381392.php?nid=172&isbn=0071381392

[katycameron]

Thanks for everyones advice and support. Fuschia those links are really useful. I am not looking to change things at the moment as we both enjoy the closeness and comfort, but once I return to work the sleep deprivation might be harder to cope with!

[Jose]

Hi, not sure if this is helpful but I'm expecting in February and have just finished a course with a midwife called Sofie Jacobs. She did a great session on breastfeeding and I know she does private consultations for problematic feeding patterns. She has contact details on her website so google her. I only have experience of her advice as I'm not there yet but I really trusted what she was saying. Perhaps worth it if you tearing your hair out and have no other answers!

Jenny

[Moos]

Is 10 weeks a big growth spurt?

Little Twosling fed every hour after 2 last night, and he's usually a 2-hour man, plus he's unusually unwilling to be held by anyone other than me.

He's a wee one anyway, so I guess no surprise... how did parents of 5'10" and 6'3" produce a little bean on the 9th percentile ? :-)

[Saffron]

I totally agree with what others have said! I'm still breastfeeding Little Saff, now 1 yo, to sleep, and I still nurse her for comfort too. She's been mostly in her own bed since 9 mo, but we still sometimes cosleep for naps. Co-sleeping, breastfeeding to sleep, and sling sleeping aren't necessarily bad habits. They're just one of many different parenting styles.

Little Saff was a night-nurser too, and she was an early morning cluster feeder until around 7 or 8 mos. She would do the 1st half of the night in the baby hammock. When the cluster feeding started around 3AM, I would put her in bed with me. DH mostly slept in the spare room -- how awful for him, with a kingsize, heated, memory foam bed all to himself, no crying baby!

I can recommend Floradix Liquid Iron supplement if you're feeling very tired. It's not a substitute for sleep, but it will help keep your iron levels up. Extra vitamin C also helps. Plus my Norwegian girl friend swears by a sunbed once a month in the winter (to help boost vitamin D).

Remember the days are long, but the years are short. And, everything really is just a phase. xxx