Leaving 9 month old for 4 days?

[stevel]

I feel for you with this as it being your first child you are understandably worrying.... you may have to accept that if you go your supply may dry up (as a firends did when we went for a 3 night hen do) and that you may also get uncomfortably large breasts. On the guilt side, I've beaten myself up for loads of things with my three, more with the first as I did things for the first time. In retrospect I've managed to give her more anxiety than my other two who I left earlier and more regularly (admittedly not for 4 days but 1-3 nights pre 1 year of age. Some work, some pleasure related) Every child and parent is different so the comments from everyone are individual and may/not represent your situation. Whatever you decision, make sure you are comfortable with it and hopefully enjoy!

[JDR]

Woops - SteveL post is mine - didn't realise it was hubbie signed in rather than me!

[Keef]

Every child and parent is different so the comments from everyone are individual and may/not represent your situation. Whatever you decision, make sure you are comfortable with it

I think this basically sums it all up quite nicely.

[doody]

IMO your babe will not suffer any long-term damage. You sound like you want to go to the do, and there are valid reasons for doing so. It's also important for you and hubby as a couple. You could start expressing and freezing milk supplies now, the babysitter is, you say, trustworthy. Have you also the possibility of any family staying at your place? You will fret a bit, you will want to keep in regular contact, but you will probably have a great time- and, surely you have to start taking small breaks now and again from your baby at some point? Just remember, there is nothing wrong with you wanting to attend, wanting to share this event with your husband, wanting to support his career and also worrying about your baby- all perfectly natural. I think it will be fine if YOU choose to go.

[newcomer]

Many thanks everyone. I think I've decided not to go. For the first time leaving Baby Newcomer, it's too long and too far away. Instead, husband and I are going to plan a night away at a local hotel in a couple of month's time - so we can see how well Baby Newcomer copes with our absence, can hopefully enjoy some couple time, but also are able to get home quickly if needed. I feel much more comfortable with this idea, though still feel a bit gutted about missing the work jolly (and, if I'm honest, a bit jealous!). We've also discussed a gradual end to breastfeeding over the next two months. Although I've enjoyed it much more than I thought I would, it feels like the right time to stop. Baby Newcomer will be 10 months so not quite the recommended 1 year, but not far off. Baby Newcomer isn't that interested in it anymore anyway- he much prefers 'proper' food (although I imagine some of you might tell me that he's probably just picking up on the fact that I'm not as keen on it anymore).

I really appreciated all the comments. Still don't know if Ive made the right choice but at least I've made some sort of decision now!

[GinaG3]

I think you made the best choice. I remember leaving my daughter for the first time literally to go out for a drink 5 minutes away. I was fretting for hours and I was only 5 minutes down the road let alone in another country.

Plenty of time to do things for yourself, much easier with toddler who likes a bit of time to themselves too.

[millsa]

You have made the right choice if you feel comfortable with it :)

I have only just seen this thread but I remember posting something similar about 2 years ago when my baby was 8 months and I was debating whether to go snowboarding with a friend. Someone told me that babies don't have a sense of time and it convinced me to go. I left him for 5 days with his dad and grandma. I missed him but had an amazing time (it felt great NOT to push a buggy everywhere and just to be 'me', not a mum) and he didn't even notice I'd gone away.

The worst thing was expressing breastmilk and throwing the milk away!

[new mother]

Glad you have decided this and that you are happy with it, more to the point.

I have no issues whatsoever with the supposed emotional damage. I don't believe an occasional absence could cause that although I suppose no-one knows conclusively. However, my issue would have been one of safety. No-one loves your baby as much as you or your husband (and some grandparents) do. "If a disaster happens in the house, who goes back in and saves my baby?" would have been my (utterly paranoid) thought. I couldn't have left either of my ch, unless with a blood relative. There is a huge difference I have found. Any remote cousin I am happier with as a babysitter than a qualified non relative. Ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous but my gut instinct.

Also, once you dump the bfeeding - which I chose not to do at all - you've be much freer to get out and about and have some lovely joint time, as well.

[millsa]

I agree - I wouldnt have gone away if my hubby and grandma hadn't looked after my boy

[womanofdulwich]

Maybe this dilemma has been a good thing for your relationship. Sometimes a marraige needs some tlc after the trauma of becoming parents. Hope you have a fabulous night away, it is something that many of us could not bring ourselves to do, and yet when I look back now I think how ridiculous it was not to accept the offer of help and take 24 hours off.