Church at top of Barry Road

[zeban]

WickedStepmother Wrote:

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> SarahO, you are entirely in the right here and

> don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If you've

> made clear that you're not happy to be approached

> by this group of people, then continued wolf

> whistling, cat calling etc is sexual harrassment

> at a minimum and there's no earthly reason why you

> should have to put up with it.

>

> I would suggest a visit to complain to the centre

> manager. I understand that might be stressful for

> you. If you would like someone to come with you

> for support, I'm more than happy to be that

> person.

>

> I understand there is also some sort of community

> relations police team working out of the police

> station on Lordship Lane; they might also be able

> to offer advice.

Absolutely agree with this

[binary_star]

Sorry I got this thread confused with the one started here: http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?5,647909,647909#msg-647909 both of which have contributions from SarahO hence my comment about being an 18yr old girl.

Like zeban, I too agree with WickedStepmother's comments above.

[TillieTrotter]

That's what I did binary and voiced pretty much the same as you! doh

[EDmummy]

I would go with Pugwash's suggestion. There are cultural differences of 'courtship' in some countries and the men in question may not be aware that behaving in the way that they are might be scary to European women. Perhaps Martin could have a word.

[SarahO]

Thank you very much for the advice! Especially zeban. Was getting very fed up with comments saying 'well it hasn't happened to me!'

[zeban]

Thanks SarahO, I think you meant wickedStepmother though, I was just agreeing with her.

It has happened to me regularly, not from the people at the/outside the church, but just all over London streets. It has got to the point where I was threatened with being punched and thrown all sorts of insults and threats because I turn around and tell the people I'm not interested. It's disgusting and makes me sick. I truly hope you don't have to put up with it anymore. There's a good campaign I've joined about reclaiming the streets from harassment.

[SarahO]

Oh yeah, wickedstepmother.

Thanks againa (:

[pinkhalf]

Sarah, this is not meant unkindly but when you are 18 and probably for a while you will have this problem. Men of all kinds will pester you. So just from the point of view of being a young woman in London, you will have to learn to deflect it unless you like the look of the man talking to you. Don't have a conversation, just say you are busy, move on, anything, do not make eye contact, do not stop, keep walking.

Some men can't handle themselves and do react badly - the advice is the same, keep walking, there is nothing you can do about their attitude. I agree that women shouldn't be harrassed but they are, and walking the gauntlet with a bunch of probably bored and lonely men can very intimidating. My advice is have cloth ears and look like you don't give a damn. I don't agree with zeban however, making it a confrontational thing means you hit a man's pride (particularly in the street in front of others and then it can be "kaboom") and you will get a bad reaction because they have lost face. Okay, they will call you a bitch and all sorts of things to prevent their penis shrinking into their body - its better to avoid contact in the first place.

Otherwise, I developed a good one liners to deal with this sort of thing, delivered, smiling, while walking away. It sort of wrong foots them, and by that time, you have made your escape.

[zeban]

Hey, I wasn't saying be confrontational! That's a lesson I have to learn, sometimes it's easier for me to ignore it than at other times! my friend told me to just say, 'sorry I'm 12 and my Dad's waiting for me!'- it usually stuns them and they can't think of anything to say to it!

Ultimately though it's still wrong and shouldn't just be tolerated as a given that women should have to put up with. If there's something you can do on a higher level, rather than individual level- like reporting to managers, and campaigning against it etc then do it!

[Msgee]

What exactly is this place- a hostel for asylum seekers, I presumed, when my son asked me last week?- we went past on the bus on Sunday afternoon and there were a couple of fire engines and a bunch of police outside- does anyone know about this/if everyone was ok?

as for: 'talk about lowering the tone of East Dulwich - WHY HAS SUCH A PLACE BEEN PUT IN THIS NICE AREA.!!!'- this sort of statement makes my blood run cold. ED isn't the sole preserve of the white wealthy middle classes. Nor should it be!

[Ridgley]

Msgee wrote

------------------------------------

as for: 'talk about lowering the tone of East Dulwich - WHY HAS SUCH A PLACE BEEN PUT IN THIS NICE AREA.!!!'- this sort of statement makes my blood run cold. ED isn't the sole preserve of the white wealthy middle classes. Nor should it be!

Unfortunately some people think it is even though Dulwich has been a diverse area for many years.

[Chase Dulwit]

Well said! For those of us who have lived here longer than five years there is a community of real people.

[zeban]

Chase Dulwit Wrote:

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> Well said! For those of us who have lived here

> longer than five years there is a community of

> real people.

(tu)

[katie1997]

zeban Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Chase Dulwit Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Well said! For those of us who have lived here

> > longer than five years there is a community of

> > real people.

>

> (tu)

Blimey, I've lived here for less than five years and I've always thought that there was a community of 'real' people.