What is the problem with co-sleeping?

[bluesuperted]

Yes I can imagine co-napping really comes into its own in toddlerdom-mixed-with-pregnancy! Hope you're doing ok and not too frazzled!

[littleEDfamily]

The only possible reason I can think of for co-sleeping being a problem (assuming parents can sleep well with sprogs in their bed - personally I can't, but I am too knackered to get them out, so I just muddle along in my sleep deprived haze) is if the child doesn't sleep as well as they might in their bed. I think really good quality sleep is essential for kids to learn and behave at their best. I noticed when our pre-schooler started coming into our room more often in the night, she didn't seem as rested in the morning. But balancing that out, there is something quite beautiful about all 4 of us waking up all cosy in the same bed, and I am sure it has positive effects in terms of the kids feelings of security and belonging.

I think co-sleeping with sick children is absolutely the right thing to do. The only time I insist my kids sleep alone and allow controlled crying is if they have a fever and I am worried about them overheating in our bed.

[civilservant]

I'd suggest you chuck out all your books, whether for or against, and go with what you feel is the right thing to do.

This is our experience, for what it's worth. We co-slept all three in a bed until LO was about 4. I'd gone back to work full-time since she was 7 months old and it was the only way of ensuring that we all got some sleep at night.

The other plus is that co-sleeping is ideal for night-time breastfeeding, and quite often I'd half-wake to discover that LO was helping herself to a bit of what she fancied in the middle of the night:).

And we too, and especially Mr Civilservant, wondered if we'd ever get our bed back to ourselves. (We tried controlled crying just once, but that was enough and we swore never again).

But all well that ends well! LO is now in primary school and sleeps in her own room all night.

[RobMiller]

One or the other of our twins was in with us fairly consistently from 9ish months to quite recently (nearly 2.5 now). They both seem quite attached to their own beds now, and as others have said co-sleeping seemed to be the most straightforward way for all of us get some kip when it was proving tricky to get them to settle after waking in the night.

[new mother]

We never co slept BUT the reason I'm posting is that when the ch were little, I had a strong instinct to d it. I would wake in the night assuming the baby was in the bed and terribly worried about WHERE??? exactly.

SO, I take from this that it would have been totally natural and would ahve felt "right" for me to have done it.

[Saila]

i would do what feels right for you and ignore contradictions and pressure from those books/websites youre talking about. Remember that survey on mumsnet that said mums felt more under pressure these days ... cos of websites like mumsnet :)

sounds a bit like they're trying to warn you off it cos you may have to 'break' a cycle later on

but from these stories it sounds like that's not really a problem anyway

i was a gina (lite) / co-sleeping, mum and will absolutely do it again cos it worked really well for *us* but my god i've felt awful pressure that what i did was somehow 'wrong' ... or even 'cruel' it's amazing what ppl say about *your* choices

good luck

xx

[nancysmum]

my daughter is 4 and still sleeps with me. i've tried putting her in her bed but would wake to screams, or her more than likely climbing in with nancysdad and me. we tried putting a single mattress at the end of the bed so that she was in the same room, but not the same bed and that worked for a bit. some nights i would have to sleep with her in her single bed (not comfortable in the least). we've just moved house and while her room is being sorted (double bed ordered for her!) she is in with me and hubby is in the loft! (plus side is she takes up less room and i don't have to listen to his snoring!!!).

[Mellors]

Now I feel like a bad mum! I have never, ever had the children sleeping in my bed (first one was in moses basket next to bed for about two weeks, but I couldn't bear the snoring/rustling about and turfed him out). My bedroom is for me and OH, not children, its my sanctuary. They will probably all need therapy now *sigh*. Personally I think you just do whatever suits you, and b*gger what anyone else thinks lol.

[Ruth_Baldock]

Mellors, if that worked for you then fab :) you do what's best for you and family and that's that. Tbh the snoring, farting and snuffling drove me mad too but s was ridicolously attached and a terrible sleeper. He got turfed out at 5am this morning, he can talk to his therapist about it when he's older, it's fine.

[GinaG3]

We stopped co-sleeping at 16 months due to violent outburst in the night (at which point we moved her to a cot next to our bed she jumped in our bed about 3am, then went into her own room at 21 months). I miss it so much, its a brilliant thing. We only have maybe 2 hours a night in our bed if at all. Usually 4-5 nights of the week she stays in her own bed all night now.

Me and my brother both co-slept until around 10 years old due to the night terrors and sleep walking, I'll admit it, I don't mind. My sisters co-slept until at least 4/5/6 too not every day but most of the week. I could get by in my own bed just fine but felt much safer in bed/or in the same room with my dad, my brother was exactly like me minus the sleep walking. He and my dad infact shared a bedroom for 5 years. My mum always kicked my dad out for snoring anyway, you can physically feel the vibration 2 storeys apart so he always had to find another spot to lay his head.

Super king-size is perfect for co-sleeping, we tried in a double this weekend but it just was NOT happening. I got kicked in the face (very hard!!) on more than 5 occasions in 30 minutes. My little fidget!