Is counselling a waste of time?

[gerry]

If anyone has ever had a good counselling experience here in the UK, please let me know privately. I wonder sometimes if its still in the closet here....when will it come out?

[Keef]

There are some great counsellors around, but there are also lots of bad ones. There seems to be a real trend towards Cognitive Behavioural Therapy right now, which can be great, but isn't for everyone. Another problem is that it's not regulated enough, and there's nothing really to stop any one of us hiring am office, putting a plaque on the door and calling our selves counsellors even if all we have is a GCSE in French.

[Administrator]

Moved to the Lounge as it's not East Dulwich specific

[gerry]

Hi Keef

I agree that counselling could be a minefield when trying to find someone, with the appropriate qualifications, localy based and without a waiting list!!! The BACP is trying to regulate the profession and anyone looking for a counsellor needs to ask about background, experience, etc. But do you think the UK embraces the idea of counselling and accepts that it is beneficial......or do we choose to struggle in silence?

[Jah Lush]

Counselling for what? Are we talking psychotherapy here?

[Brendan]

Support groups for internet forum addiction?

On a serious note I do think that the British psyche is probably less open to the idea than folks like the yanks but this could be a reflection on the lack of regulation and the number of quacks out there.

[gerry]

Counselling for anything - it is different from psychotherapy because it is usually short term, less serious issues, and can be used with couples, individuals and groups. Generally psychotherapy is for individuals, long term, and exploring more in depth mental health problems. If there is a psychotherapist out there, could you respond to this please.

Thank you.

[lozzyloz]

Gerry I once used RELATE some 12 years ago. I was quite cynical at first and although it didn't save a doomed marriage (thankfully) it did provide some benefits that I didn't see at first or expect.

I'm not quite sure what you're question is but I think you're asking if our Culture is too "stiff upper lip" to use counselling? Possibly. But it's also down to awareness and availability of counselling services.

[ChavWivaLawDegree]

I've had my fair share of counsellors, probation, NA etc and I thought most of them were well meaning but pretty useless. The only ones I found any good though, and please don't laugh because I'm being deadly serious, were the people I spoke to in sex addicts anonymous.

I expected it to be full of dirty old men in macs jacking off, but it was surprisingly moving and informative. Helped me deal with some self-esteem issues, and now I only get dangerously rampant when I'm on heat, mid-cycle.

[Jah Lush]

I went to a see a trick cyclist once when I was a teenager and as I sat down he tossed a snooker ball to me which I caught. He then said: "Peel it." So I threw back at him and said "You peel it, I'll eat it," and walked out. I didn't bother to go back.

But, having said that when I was ill with an alcohol related illness in my late 20s early 30s I had a couple of good chats with a councellor/pyschiatrist and looking back I felt it did me a lot of good and helped me in no small way to getting better and trying to sort my life out. Some times it's good to talk things through with someone who hopefully knows what you're talking about and going through.

[gerry]

Jah

I am relieved to hear that sometimes counselling can be useful, and talking with someone who is really listening to you seems to help. What should counsellors do to make their services more welcoming and friendly? Is the profession too secretive? If others have had good experiences, are they willing to talk about it? I have no problem with the stiff upper lip culture.....I sometimes feel frustrated that people wait until its too late to get help. How can we get counseling out of the closet?

[Keef]

You could start by coming out of the closet and explaining why you ask. You seem to be trying to facilitate a debate here, are you a psychology student doing a research project by any chance?

[gerry]

Sorry Keef, I thought it was obvious..I am a counsellor...and I am concerned that we have an image which is less than admirable.......I am trying to find out how to change that.

[lozzyloz]

Well you haven't made a very good start . . .

[Brendan]

Why? Gerry's questions have been sincere and valid.

[*Bob*]

I remember Gerry did make himself 'known' some time back..

http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?9,51434,51434#msg-51434

http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?9,50802,50802#msg-50802

[Jah Lush]

I'm not really sure I can answer your question Gerry. When people have been ill with addiction/dependency problems like myself and CWALD you are usually referred to a counsellor either through a hospital like myself or your own doctor. And, other times people will only try and deal with their problems when they have hit rock bottom.

Of course there are plenty of other reasons why people have counselling but as you say yourself it's not really part of our culture. People will only seek help if or when they are desperate and have no where else to turn.

Also, I can't be sure that in your own attempt to maybe popularise and make your profession more acceptable to the general public that you may be preying on people who are already vulnerable.

[lozzyloz]

Perhaps the word good should be substituted with the word clear.

I am a counsellor...and I am concerned that we have an image which is less than admirable.......I am trying to find out how to change that.

Would've been a better/clearer starting post. I thought Gerry was someone looking for counselling and wondering what other peoples experiences were.

Besides, I thought councellors just listened.

[ChavWivaLawDegree]

I think cognitive therapy, learning coping techniques, that kind of thing is a lot more useful than poring over your childhood and inadequacies for months on end.

Which ever way you have learned, through your childhood experiences, to react to stresses in life, is an important issue, but only so you can understand how to adjust those responses, or be aware when you are responding what it is you are actually reacting to and move forward.

[mockney piers]

Just IMHO I can totally see the need for counsellors, but I can't see myself going to one as long as I have good understanding friends and pubs around me when things are a bit tits up, and yes, understanding pubs alright ;)

[Jah Lush]

With you there Mockney. I've always been lucky in having plenty of support from family and friends. Anyway, the problems I had were a long time ago and it's not really something I'd want to rabbit on about on a public forum. Ooh! is that the time? Right time for a pint.

[TillieTrotter]

I had counselling many moons ago for anxiety attacks. I am abit of a closed shop but when I eventually "let go" I found it incredibly liberated talking to a "stranger".

I would recommend a few weeks counselling to anyone.

[mockney piers]

As most people who've met me I'll pretty much rabbit on about anything to anyone, hence my verbal ... err ... cursive(?) diarrhoea here

[Keef]

gerry Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Sorry Keef, I thought it was obvious..I am a

> counsellor...and I am concerned that we have an

> image which is less than admirable.......I am

> trying to find out how to change that.

Wouldn't say you were obvious, but fair play... I should have guessed you were a counsellor anyway, all your posts end in a question ;-)

Counselling plays a part in what I do, and I have some training. I did consider doing all out counselling, but chose another path.... A path that I may do a U turn on and head back...

I'm very pro counselling, but it's not for everyone... My first choice, like Piers & Jah, would be to seek out support from my frieds and family. However, I would never rule counselling out.

[gerry]

I would just like to add that I have learned a whole bunch from you.....counselling is useful, counselling does have an image problem, and we need to do something serious to address that. I appreciate your candor and honesty. I have a tough job ahead of me.