What DO you say or do when you hear Mum hitting or threatening her kids

[edcam]

A few years ago I was passing through Victoria station and I saw a women violently slapping her daughter (who looked about 6 or 7 years old) about the head repeatedly very hard and screaming at her. Myself and another guy nearby immediately went over and asked her what she thought she was doing. The mother looked terrified but the child became extremely defensive and told us to mind our own business and I had a terrible sense that this child was scared of her mother becoming upset.I looked for a police officer but mother and child scuttled off immediately. I often wonder what else I could have done to help but short of punching the woman in the face to give her a taste of her own medicine, I don't know what else I could have done. I've never come so close to considering making a citizen's arrest. I still get angry about it sometimes.

[PeckhamRose]

edcam thanks for sharing that.

Of course it is frightening for the child when someone else gets involved.

In the long run though I think one has to in order to hopefully prevent things getting worse in the future.

[Moflo]

Many years ago an African family lived oposite the flat I lived in, I often saw the mother beating both her children with the buckle end of a belt! This continued for many weeks on a daily basis. On a number of occasions I called out to her and said any more and I would call the police. Obuse followed in tyrades! It got to the point she would bring the kids out into the garden to beat them just so that i could see!! I called the police, they came and said not much they could do because it was their culture!! bear in mind this was in the 70's and child abuse was very low on the authorities mind! After that tho i received a lot of abuse from the children defending their mother, you can't always win!

[BB100]

Some years ago I gasped when I saw a very large woman slap a child around the face. She saw my face and then proceeded to chase me around the supermarket telling me to watch my mouth or she'll punch it in.

However, in England the law currently, as it stands, is that it is not illegal to smack your own child so long as it doesn't leave a mark. So if you call the police about a parent hitting their child (even in the face) there's not much they can really do about it. It doesn't mean you can't say anything about it though and if you know the child or where they live a confidential call to ChildLine can make a difference.

[carolyn]

About a year ago I saw a woma hit her child repeatedly at Nigel Road bus stop. I didn't say anything because I was worried about agitating her further and causing more trouble for the boy later (it might be seen as his fault for acting out and therefore attracting attention, etc. Not that I agree with this, but when people are acting irrationally, they don't always blame the right person, you know?). Anyhow, afterwards I contacted a friend who used to be a social worker and asked what she suggested. She didn't have a solid answer, but she suggested asking the parent if he\she needed a hand, or if you could do anything to help them out. Don't draw attention to the abuse but acknowledge that they are under stress and maybe deflect the attention away from the child in a nonconfrontational way.

My friend was clear that this is not a foolproof plan (I don't think there is one in this sort of situation) but she thought it was better than straight on confrontation and disapproval.