Ketchup

[Annette Curtain]

Ted Max Wrote:

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> Thin chips, Curtains? And a few undressed green

> leaves wilting into the juices left on the plate?

Oh Ted...

On a white plate, with a flinty white Bordeaux & a white linen cloth.

* passes out *

[????]

Sounds like a date is in order (and you'll get all the trimmings Ted)

[Annette Curtain]

???? Wrote:

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> Sounds like a date is in order (and you'll get all

> the trimmings Ted)

There's always meat & two veg served at mine.

Hot or cold & plenty of it.

[Ted Max]

As I am now a noted homophobe of the Parish, I think it unlikely I'd be found hanging off Curtain's pelmet any time soon.

[Annette Curtain]

*sighs*

 

[????]

ooooh the p-word...... gave you away 'fraid Ted

[maxxi]

Travelodge or Premier Inn? (Nette)

[Laddy Muck]

Ted...Nette has slightly parted her nets for you...so stop poncing about and get up that pelmet before she changes her mind.

[maxxi]

Laddy Muck Wrote:

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> Ted...Nette has slightly parted her nets for

> you...so stop poncing about and get up that pelmet

> before she changes her mind.

Using that word is just not acceptable LM we've been over this before...

It's not pelmet it's valance or, if absolutely necessary, cornice board.

[Laddy Muck]

You are right Maxxi. What about "swags"?

[maxxi]

Now you are just showing off.

[Laddy Muck]

heh heh 73!

MWAH!

[maxxi]

is that the time already?

*slams door on way out*

[Laddy Muck]

sssshhh...you'll wake Huguenot...

[Ted Max]

Forced out of retirement by a pathetic annuity, he'd found a job servicing obsolete agricultural machinery. No more farmhouse chats, though, these days. Instead, the gang masters of East Yorks and Lincs were his patch. Always the A road, always a room, always the same raised faces asking him for escape.

In the morning, a maid, not much younger than him. She sees the shoes by the wardrobe, the empty half-bottle of whisky on the counterpane. She sees the hotel stationery put to its first ever use: one envelope, propped up against the miniature kettle. "For Margaret".

She picks up the room phone and dials the head of housekeeping.

She sits on the bed and waits. Only then does she notice the ketchup stain on the torn net curtains. She understands, for the first time, that she hates this country.

[Moos]

I don't think there are any Margarets left. It hasn't even been rediscovered yet, there are no baby Margarets. People are too busy naming their daughters Pinky, Obsidian and Cornwall.

[Ridgley]

LM wrote

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Revolting

Really LM!! you sound like him indoors he thinks ketchup is common, chips without ketchup is like Ant without Dec it works well together:))

[TillieTrotter]

The only thing I have to have red sauce on is a fish finger sandwich.....Mmmm.

[Laddy Muck]

Ridgley Wrote:

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> Really LM!! you sound like him indoors he thinks

> ketchup is common...

hee hee (tu)

[Annette Curtain]

maxxi Wrote:

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> Travelodge or Premier Inn? (Nette)

I dont really mind...

Seen one ceiling, seen them all.

:-$

[Salsaboy]

Mayo ONLY on chips.

[Frankito]

And only Helmanns...

Mind you Heinz' new deli range is quite nice, especially the garlic one..

[Otta]

I love ketchup, but has to be Heinz.

Thing is, I love it with steak too, and I will not be judged damn you!

[maxxi]

Laddy Muck Wrote:

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> Ted...Nette has slightly parted her nets for

> you...

I think that's enough innuendo and euphemisms isn't it?

Oh, Come on!!

[HonaloochieB]

Ketchup is superb on steak. If you get all fidgety about it, just order catsup.

Ketchup on its own on a bacon sandwich is just all out plain ridiculous - a bacon sandwich requires HP sauce, nothing more.

Unless you've run out of HP, in which case the first side of bread should be given a reasonable schmear of Colmans English Mustard and the second a layer of Heinz Tomato Ketchup.

It aint HP but it'll get you there.

Though I'm prepared to sometimes forego HP whenever I can source the Branston Dill Relish (available occaisionally from a 99p Shop near you), a few leaves of water cress and you have a salty-sweet-peppery treat that's hard to beat.

Though The Branston Dill aint a patch on the Bicks Cucumber Relish, not at all, still that's gone the way of smoking in pubs.

So, there we are.