Jump to content

Recommended Posts

15 - Dammit I knew I should have kept tabs on exactly how many people up to the age of 19 there are in this country - and how many hours we can make the little feckers work!


And I agree with peterstorm - hiding behind the sofa in the dark is a perfectly acceptable answer to "How might you stop young people playing tricks on you at Halloween?"

I took this test officially earlier this year, scored 23/24 at the time, and redid it now with a fail of 18/24. Sshh, don't tell the Home Office!


There are a HUGE number of other test questions available (they're randomly generated when you do the exam), with some of them even stupider than those listed here (eg, "Which statement is correct? A) The Queen is the heir to the throne B,) Prince Charles is the heir to the throne" and my personal favourite, "True or false: in the UK it is illegal to discriminate against women at work because of their sex").


If they're going to keep this test it really needs a massive rewrite...

ahem - 15 - fail...


Ian Jack today in Guardian on precisely this subject - http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/oct/14/ian-jack-what-is-britishness-citizenship-test


Having done the test, I can't work out what its aim is. There is a clear bias in favour of people who are able to digest and spew out facts and dates on demand i.e. people with at least a secondary education.


Questions such as "In which year did married women get the right to divorce ... a. 1837 b. 1857 c. 1875 d. 1882" - how do they prove true understanding?

If you were really interested in asking people about their understanding of British culture, you'd want to ask it in a less nit-picky way e.g. : "When did married women get the right to divorce ... a. in the 17th century b. in the 18th century c. in the 19th century d. in the 20th century" - which is probably why native Brits fall down so badly.

I've finally remembered what this all reminds me of - my history 'O' level. A collection of meaningless facts that I managed to learn off by heart to be spilled out on paper on the day and immediately forgotten.

Who cares when British women got the right to divorce, as long as they have it now? Surely that should be the point of the questions; to judge if someone can take an active and sociable part in our community today.

I'd like to see questions such as,

What places should you expect to queue?

Should you let your dog crap on the pavement and not clean up after it?

Is it OK to spit on the ground?

What are litter bins for?

Is it good to open doors for old people and those carrying heavy objects?


OK, so a few questions on the origins of Bonfire night, and how many days before Christmas you can expect to see Santa in his grotto if you go to Selfridges, won't do any harm but they shouldn't be the deciding factor.

peterstorm1985 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I'd like to see questions such as,

> What places should you expect to queue?

> Should you let your dog crap on the pavement and

> not clean up after it?

> Is it OK to spit on the ground?

> What are litter bins for?

> Is it good to open doors for old people and those

> carrying heavy objects?

>


Not so fast! At that rate a worryingly high proportion of the ED population would find itself consigned to Sangatte as a result of spectacularly bad test scores!

16. Packing a sleeping bag.


I'd be interested to know whether the Guardian were making a point by picking the most obscure questions they could or whether they're genuinely representative of the test. If they are representative, it's an outrageous cheat on the people made to take it. Knowing roughly what % of the population is Muslim is relevant but knowing whether it's 4.2% or 1.6% is irrelevant. Ditto between 13 and 16 million young people, the first year a woman could divorce her husband... rubbish. Bah.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • I've never got Christmas pudding. The only times I've managed to make it vaguely acceptable to people is thus: Buy a really tiny one when it's remaindered in Tesco's. They confound carbon dating, so the yellow labelled stuff at 75% off on Boxing Day will keep you going for years. Chop it up and soak it in Stones Ginger Wine and left over Scotch. Mix it in with a decent vanilla ice cream. It's like a festive Rum 'n' Raisin. Or: Stick a couple in a demijohn of Aldi vodka and serve it to guests, accompanied by 'The Party's Over' by Johnny Mathis when people simply won't leave your flat.
    • Not miserable at all! I feel the same and also want to complain to the council but not sure who or where best to aim it at? I have flagged it with our local MP and one Southwark councillor previously but only verbally when discussing other things and didn’t get anywhere other than them agreeing it was very frustrating etc. but would love to do something on paper. I think they’ve been pretty much every night for the last couple of weeks and my cat is hating it! As am I !
    • That is also a Young's pub, like The Cherry Tree. However fantastic the menu looks, you might want to ask exactly who will cook the food on the day, and how. Also, if  there is Christmas pudding on the menu, you might want to ask how that will be cooked, and whether it will look and/or taste anything like the Christmas puddings you have had in the past.
    • This reminds me of a situation a few years ago when a mate's Dad was coming down and fancied Franklin's for Christmas Day. He'd been there once, in September, and loved it. Obviously, they're far too tuned in to do it, so having looked around, £100 per head was pretty standard for fairly average pubs around here. That is ridiculous. I'd go with Penguin's idea; one of the best Christmas Day lunches I've ever had was at the Lahore Kebab House in Whitechapel. And it was BYO. After a couple of Guinness outside Franklin's, we decided £100 for four people was the absolute maximum, but it had to be done in the style of Franklin's and sourced within walking distance of The Gowlett. All the supermarkets knock themselves out on veg as a loss leader - particularly anything festive - and the Afghani lads on Rye Lane are brilliant for more esoteric stuff and spices, so it really doesn't need to be pricey. Here's what we came up with. It was considerably less than £100 for four. Bread & Butter (Lidl & Lurpak on offer at Iceland) Mersea Oysters (Sopers) Parsnip & Potato Soup ( I think they were both less than 20 pence a kilo at Morrisons) Smoked mackerel, Jerseys, watercress & radish (Sopers) Rolled turkey breast joint (£7.95 from Iceland) Roast Duck (two for £12 at Lidl) Mash  Carrots, star anise, butter emulsion. Stir-fried Brussels, bacon, chestnuts and Worcestershire sauce.(Lidl) Clementine and limoncello granita (all from Lidl) Stollen (Lidl) Stichelton, Cornish Cruncher, Stinking Bishop. (Marks & Sparks) There was a couple of lessons to learn: Don't freeze mash. It breaks down the cellular structure and ends up more like a French pomme purée. I renamed it 'Pomme Mikael Silvestre' after my favourite French centre-half cum left back and got away with it, but if you're not amongst football fans you may not be so lucky. Tasted great, looked like shit. Don't take the clementine granita out of the freezer too early, particularly if you've overdone it on the limoncello. It melts quickly and someone will suggest snorting it. The sugar really sticks your nostrils together on Boxing Day. Speaking of 'lost' Christmases past, John Lewis have hijacked Alison Limerick's 'Where Love Lives' for their new advert. Bastards. But not a bad ad.   Beansprout, I have a massive steel pot I bought from a Nigerian place on Choumert Road many years ago. It could do with a work out. I'm quite prepared to make a huge, spicy parsnip soup for anyone who fancies it and a few carols.  
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...