Idle cricket musing

[mockney piers]

Apparently Patterson is batting in a Devon Malcomesque fashion.

Mind you, a 4!!!!!!

[Brendan]

That appears to be that. 203 all out at tea on the first day.

[Keef]

Just going back to the fighting, have you lot forgotten you're talking about a bunch of pansy cricketers, they're all soft really.

[mockney piers]

I love the Guardian OBO:

"7th over: South Africa 27-0 (Smith 24 McKenzie 2)

So you have one of the world's most respected quick bowlers finally back from 18 months of injury" grumbles Dom O'Reilly, "and you need to use him as a shock bowler and what do you do? Use him as first change for Ned No-one of Nowhere, Nebraksa."

[Brendan]

Yeah but that's why you pair them off against each other and not, say, boxers.

I?ve always wanted to see a fight break out on a cricket pitch. It?s 11 against 2 but the 2 guys are wearing helmets and have bats. So it would be pretty entertaining.

[david_carnell]

Aye, true. And the 11 have one ball between them to try and cause some damage with.

I've always maintained in a pub fight never go for the pool cue but the pool balls - much more nasty.

Anyone with me on that?

So, yeah, cricket, eh? What's all that about. Bloody Graeme Smith making us look daft seemingly!

[Brendan]

I adopt more of a, stay the hell away from anything that can be used as a weapon and hide under a table until it all dies down, kind of strategy to pub fights.

[Brendan]

This from the BBC's TMS inbox:

From Dawid Burger, TMS inbox: "Here in South Africa we have the quota system when selecting teams to right the wrongs of the past. Is Pattinson part of your program representing ex-colonies?"

[Keef]

Not toooooo bad so far, and a wicket for Flintoff which he'll be pleased with.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

And another one bites the dust ...

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Ditto

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

To borrow some football phraseology, "who's the w****r in the white?"

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Or as Mr Boycott more elegantly puts it "he's a show pony, should be wearing a blue rosette."

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

What a pants day.

[Brendan]

Methinks Messrs. Flintoff, Pietersen et al could benefit from an introductory course on how to bat in a test match, delivered by one Mr. A. Prince.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Go away you smug git.

[Brendan]

Just offering some sporting advice.

touchy, touchy.

it?s just a game you know.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Just a game!?! *has apoplectic fit* Pah!

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

I am applying for Lichtenstein residency. I'm guessing SA doesn't have a skiing team.

[Brendan]

Doesn?t everyone in Lichtenstein wear leadenhouses and live in Castles?

Oh and about that skiing thing. Well there's these guys apparently,

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

That's it - I'm fleeing to Darkest Peru.

[Brendan]

Well you should be ok there but don?t travel too far South as the largest single population of Boers outside South Africa is in Patagonia.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh

[Ted Max]

Well you should be ok there but don?t travel too far South as the largest single population of Boers outside South Africa is in Patagonia

If they ever met the Welsh Patagonians, they could create a Rugby super-breed out there.

[Brendan]

And then let Argentina into the tri-nations.

But let's not get distracted by rugby. Anyone got any predications for the cricket. Will England manage to pull off a heroic save here or will it all be over by tea today?