Mail Order Winner

[computedshorty]

Mail Order wins?

I have been ordering things on the various Mail Order forms.

This week I have won from them these amounts, that state that the cheque is waiting for me.

?12.000

?25.000

?14.500

?22.000

?6.000.

There are items that are incorrect on their details, such as Initials, Mr / Mrs, or road name.

I suspect that these will disqualify my claim, if I respond and claim.

Most of these claim return envelopes are addressed to Ireland, Channel Islands or Belgium.

My sister inlaw stayed with us for quite a while, she sent off for items addressed to my address, the offers still arrive, she is also the winner of the same amounts.

I was wondering if any of you also get these same notifications from the Mail order people?

If I have now arrived at my lucky stage of life then I will hold a Drinks Night to celebrate with you all.

I will have difficulty in spending all that money as my needs are not great now.

I might consider a motorised Zimmer, or a Chair Lift.

[Guest]

If it turns out you have indeed hit a lucky patch in life, Computedshorty, I'd be happy to join you for drinks, but sadly it sounds like a scam to me...

[Betterat50m]

If you had of legitimately won said amount, the cheque would have appeared on your doorstep with the correct details.

[the-e-dealer]

And Boris Johnson is Mayor of London!

[jim_the_chin]

Don't get scammed. Some useful advice here.

http://www.met.police.uk/fraudalert/mass_market_fraud.htm

[shebe]

You can joke, but this stuff is a menace, especially to elderly/vulnerable people who can be scammed into parting with 0000s of ?s for 'prize draws', rubbish merchandise, guaranteed fortunes, etc. . See the link below if you need convincing.

http://www.thinkjessica.com//

The advice is to report it (details on the website) and never, ever, respond or send any money, unless you want to be put onto a so-called 'suckers list' which will be passed on to even more of these scammers (aka criminals). As most of it comes from overseas, it's hard to stop, but the authorities are on to it.

[computedshorty]

My winnings are from reputable Mail Order Compnies I have used for years.

The new Post Codes are so abbreviated that, you need only write your Name and the Post code.

The code only covers so few premises, that the Local Postman will know where that person lives.

I use just eleven letters or numbers.

All I need put is;

B Lee

SE228JH

And it gets here.

Does anybody use a less number combination?

[bon3yard]

Wassat you say?

[TheArtfulDogger]

Dear computedshorty.

Please let me introduce myself, I am Artful a king of a part of Nairobi and i have $7 million USD to export after the brutal coup that has taken over my country.

I can not be seen to be taking this money out of the country personally but if you my dear computedshorty will act as my UK agent then I will give you 10% of the money.

All you need to do is deposit ?79,500 into your bank and provide me with the sort code and account number so that I can transfer the $7 million into your account and you can then draw it out for me when I come to visit you at your mansion at 8 Lee in SE22 8JH

Yours in good faith, King Artful Dogger

[computedshorty]

Dear TheArtfulDogger.

Thank you for your most gratious offer of a share in your fortune, a ten percent part is worth considdering.

I have thoughts of how I can spend the money I have won, as I am over eighty and not very mobile I am looking for somebody to distribute it on my behalf. Looking at your Message I can see that you have made a mistake in my address, I do not live at a mansion at 8 Lee in SE22 8JH, as in other claims there is always a change in my details.

I reside in a Council Sheltered Accommadation.

I have had an offer from a complete stranger who is taking me to the bank to change over my bank account.

If you think I am doing the wrong thing you can find me in the bank where my Zimmer is parked outside.

[maxxi]

Dear computedshorty.

Please let me entreat you to have no dealings with the Nairobi royal family as they are well known shysters and cads.

I and my extended family represent the entirely fantastic and legendary (not to say not unentirely fictional) province of Zimmer-Babwe and we would welcome you to our bank where you may receive notional interest and your own Bank-Of-Zimmer-Babwe parking space (kryptonite zimmer-lock extra).

"Frame-On!"

[Huguenot]

If you look at that picture closely, the's a shop that appears to sell bad shoes.

[HAL9000]

A closer look reveals that an "N" has fallen off the end of the word that looks like "BAD".

Therefore, it must be the world famous HAHN SHOES store at 1922 Pennsylvania avenue, Washington DC that filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy reorganization in June, 1995.

Elementary my dear Huguenot!

You really should get out more :)

[Huguenot]

Me? I should get out more?

[computedshorty]

If you look at that picture more closely,you will see that a leg of my Zimmer is resting on my exercise mat that I do one hundred Press ups, before my two mile sprint to the top of One Tree Hill Daily.

Pleased to report that there are no bottles of an unidentifed substance there as yet.

[Salsaboy]

I have also observed that you cunningly store your tennis balls on the feet of the aforementioned Zimmer frame.

[Annette Curtain]

computedshorty Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> My winnings are from reputable Mail Order Compnies

> I have used for years.

>

> The new Post Codes are so abbreviated that, you

> need only write your Name and the Post code.

> The code only covers so few premises, that the

> Local Postman will know where that person lives.

> I use just eleven letters or numbers.

> All I need put is;

> B Lee

> SE228JH

> And it gets here.

> Does anybody use a less number combination?

Strangely Shorty

There's a L.E.E here

NETTE:-S

[computedshorty]

Some time back I was told that I had won a prize , but have not heard again until today. here is the message.

Dear Mr XXXXXXXX.

I can confirm today:

Mr XXXXXXXX,

you?re defiantely the winner I?ve been looking for and I?m glad I found you.

I was on my way to a meeting and was going to pop in to see my manager on the way past to give him a prize slip. I?d put the Prize slip in my jacket pocket but just as I got to his office my phone started to ring.

So I forgot to leave the Prize slip with him. I left it in my pocket, and unfortunately, it ended in the washing machine. The name of the winner was partially erased? Only the number winning number is still completely visible!

Luckily, thanks to our computer system, we know this number is yours, Mr XXXXXXXX, and that you?ve won!

As proof , I attach a photo copy of your Prize Slip.

Please accept my sincere apologies for this incident.

I?m now eagerly awaiting your reply to send you your prize as soon as possible.

Kind regards.

Emma Robinson

Emma Robinson.

Prize Awards Department.

I have replied.

Mr P, xxxxxxxx

xxx Lordship Lane

E.Dulwich

SE228HJ

24th February 2012.

Dear Emma.

Thank you so much for your letter explaining that had happened to my numbers to claim my winning cheque, I do hope that the ink did not permanently stain your jacket, if it has I would like to buy you a new one from your Catalogue, you can deduct the cost before sending the cheque.

I have no close descendants so I have invited my friends from a website I belong to, for a celebration evening at a local Hotel.

Can I hope for a quick response from you as they are getting a little anxious and enquire ? have I received my cheque yet ?.

I also wonder but realise that these things do take time, as I am a little over 80 years of age so I live in hope that I will be able to spend all this money getting it so late in my life. I know that you are aware of the items I have purchased from your Catalogue all of these relating to being an aid for my infirmity.

I have made a few bequests from my winnings to various charities in the hope that they will use the money to benefit their causes.

I do hope that I have explained myself, as I am not too familiar with a computer, I have learned quite quickly considering I only started writing joined up writing since I arrived here a on the Banana Boat.

I hope that you did not get disciplined for loosing my claim details, the management must have full trust in you capability.

I await in anticipation for my long lost winning cheque, I will of course continue to place orders as I might be lucky enough to win again.

Thank you for your communication informing me of the loss.

I remain your loyal indebted customer.

P Short.

[computedshorty]

These Mail Order scams were exposed on the Rip off Britain programme today at 10 am.

Nobody has ever been paid any winings.

Worst one is Star.

No corresondence has ever been answered.

Put into bin, dont waste a postage stamp on a reply.

Return it unopened to sender.