Courtesy and Interest or Politically Incorrect?

[Marmora Man]

When is it proper / what is the best way to ask "Where are you from"

After a check up with my new dentist I was intrigued by her accent and rather strange name. I raised the question by saying "may I ask you where you are from?" but wondered afterwards whether I had been politically incorrect in presuming she was not born British.

It turned out she was Iranian.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Since when did it become politically incorrect to show interest in someone? There would be no conversations or relationships if we never exercised our curiosity.

[SeanMacGabhann]

I'm not sure what political correctness has to do with it

The only people you have to worry about are you and her - if you asked and she said she was born in Hammersmith, would either you or she feel bad?

If I hear an accent I don't recognize I always ask where it's from

[citizenED]

Its not what you say, its the way you say it. If you complement someone on their beautiful accent before wondering where they are from you are unlikely to cause offence.

[blinder999]

A friend mine of Kashmiri parentage (born in the Midlands) said conversations often went like this:

"Where are you from?"

"The Midlands"

"No, where are you really from?"

or even

"What nationality are you?"

"English?"

"hahaha no you're not"

[Michael Palaeologus]

I think that it is OK to ask about where people are from - you can of course get the answer "Burnley", in which case you offer a comforting shoulder.

I ask "Were are your roots?" or "Where are your family originally from?".

[char1ie]

Just rephrase the question. "I love your accent! What is your background?" or "What a fantastic name! What's your background?" or "you are very short. Are you a midget?". Obviously the third one is a joke and is not a good way to start any line of questioning.

Charlie

[gerry]

Although I have been here for over 20 years, I still enjoy it when people ask where I am from...usually it triggers off a discussion about others they know from the same part of the world. Political incorrectness has never entered my thinking!!!

[Cassius]

I used to work for a private caterers and we did a function which Princess Anne attended. She asked the chef (of Chinese origin) where he came from and he said 'Brighton'. So if it's good enough for Princess Anne..........

[woodie]

Im with michael. tis my line too. it respects ancestry.

[SeanMacGabhann]

then I'll do the opposite

[BJL]

blinder999 Wrote:

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> A friend mine of Kashmiri parentage (born in the

> Midlands) said conversations often went like

> this:

>

> "Where are you from?"

> "The Midlands"

> "No, where are you really from?"

>

> or even

>

> "What nationality are you?"

> "English?"

> "hahaha no you're not"

I've had both of these reactions ever since coming to live in Britain and found them really insulting (especially the first one).

[atila the gooner]

Could be worse, when I say my parents are from Cyprus people always assume that they are Greek Cypriots, and not Turkish Cypriots. That really f**ks me off, not because I dislike Greeks but because it highlights the ignorance of the person making the assumption.As Cyprus was a British colony, they have always held British passports even before they came to England, but when they say they are British they always get the same response, "you can't be". Don't get me started!

[*Bob*]

Kebab and chips, please. Ta.

[Brendan]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with politely asking someone where they are from if you are interested. When you are in another county and the locals ask you where you are from do you get offended? It is just a common way of making conversation.

Like anything though if you say ?Where the hell are you from anyway you @?*$*% -- (?*$&(?(??

Then it is a different story.

I really don?t think people have to walk on eggshells.

Well just as long as people stop asking me if I?m Australian. ;-)

[atila the gooner]

*Bob* Wrote:

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> Kebab and chips, please. Ta.

Clearly you are a very funny man, have ever considered a career on the stage? Or are you just another dumb Anglo-Saxon?;-)

[*Bob*]

atila the gooner Wrote:

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Or are you just

> another dumb Anglo-Saxon?;-)

I'm afraid it's worse than that, Atila. I'm from the Black Country.

[LizzygotDizzy]

Erm... come on now children, lets play nicely, Bob there was no need for the "kebab" comment, detention! 5 minutes of your playtime! And a spanking (only upon request and at extra charge!)

[Alan Dale]

So Marmora Man fancies his dentist eh?

With chat up lines like "may I ask where you are from?" then I don't really rate his chances. Unless she needs a passport that is...

[mockney piers]

As I've absolutely no idea where I'm from or what I am it's usually other people who regret asking me where I'm from, as I launch into a long and confused soliloquy.

[atila the gooner]

*Bob* Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> atila the gooner Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

>

> Or are you just

> > another dumb Anglo-Saxon?;-)

>

> I'm afraid it's worse than that, Atila. I'm from

> the Black Country.

Oh that would explain it, you've obviously been to the Sam Allardyce school of charm which espouses the "I'm English and northern and I'l say what I bloody well like no matter who it upsets" & "foreigners are to blame for all the ills of our glorious country" approach.

[*Bob*]

From the look of you, Mockney, more often than not I'd say Roumanian.

But shave the beard and you could pass for French.

[Ladygooner]

atila the gooner Wrote:

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> Could be worse, when I say my parents are from

> Cyprus people always assume that they are Greek

> Cypriots, and not Turkish Cypriots. That really

> f**ks me off, not because I dislike Greeks but

> because it highlights the ignorance of the person

> making the assumption.As Cyprus was a British

> colony, they have always held British passports

> even before they came to England, but when they

> say they are British they always get the same

> response, "you can't be". Don't get me started!

Atila, but what about Greek spurs supporters?

[*Bob*]

atila the gooner Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Oh that would explain it, you've obviously been to

> the Sam Allardyce school of charm which espouses

> the "I'm English and northern and I'l say what I

> bloody well like no matter who it upsets" &

> "foreigners are to blame for all the ills of our

> glorious country" approach.

No, it just means I have a sense of irony.. not that this is native to the West Midlands, of course.

[atila the gooner]

*Bob* Wrote:

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> No, it just means I have a sense of irony.. not

> that this is native to the West Midlands, of

> course.

In your case, for a sense of irony read insulting and racial stereotyping, and not knowing the difference.