Help we're having bedtime dramas!

[buggie]

(Apologies for epic post!)

Soooo, Bugglet (now 2 1/4yrs) has never been that bad at going to bed, well established routine - bath, stories & sleep. In fact, 3mths ago thought we'd really got it sussed as post holiday we'd moved from her going to sleep at 8pm to it being nearer 7.40 (extra 20mins in the evening :) ).

However, in the last few weeks this seems to have gone to pot. Started with her refusing bath/screaming about that but then going to bed ok, to now bathing ok but not wanting to keep us with her/seeming to settle only to cry out about 20mins later & it being clear she hasn't been to sleep yet & taking till 9pm & a tantrum from me (!) till she sleeps.

She's been at a new nursery since Oct which she loves, but she has gone up to 3 days a week in the last month & having said that she doesn't often nap in the day, they now seem to try & get her to nap everyday (but this does sometimes take them laying by her stroking her hand till she drops off - she'd tried to get up a few times but they persisted -argh!!).

Things got worse the last week of nursery before Christmas, but seem to have got worse rather than better this week - frustratingly when in-laws and my Mum babysat she went to bed v easily each time - which frustrates me even more.

Know this is likely "just a phase" & she has had a big boost in her language recently as well as final molars finally cutting, but, this isn't helping. I don't want to give into her & sit by her till she falls asleep for fear of it being difficult to break & undoing 2yrs of her gradually learning to self settle.

Any tips from anyone who's faced similar & come out the other side?! Once asleep she typically sleeps well (might rouse briefly but settles with minimal reassurance).

[oimissus]

We asked our nursery not to 'help' Miss Oi nap, so she lies down with everyone and if she drops off they wake her after 20 mins or so, and if she doesn't they don't stroke her or encourage her to nap but she has a rest, so you can request them not to do this.

We had a time of Miss Oi wanting us to stay in the room when before we'd left her and she'd dropped off within minutes of us leaving, and I didn't want to for the same reasons as you, but in fact it was a phase - for maybe a fortnight we would sit on her sofa till she dropped off (about 20 mins max) and then we went back to normal.

sorry, that's all very badly phrased, been out to a birthday party ooops . . . !

[buggie]

I understand what you mean! Thank you - will d/w nursery next week.

[susyp]

just woken up so may not have read properly but I agree that the napping at lunch may be the problem - how annoying of the nursery! I dropped my daughter's at 2 for this very reason - then she would go to bed at 6pm (bliss!). Initially begged to go to bed from about 4pm so I had to jsut use tv to keep her up but pretty soon was used to it. Even now, 2 year later, she begs to go up to bed at 630 if I have lost track of time !

susypx

[Lula]

Daytime nap is definitely the problem. My son is 21/2 and has dropped his daytime nap except when he goes to the childminder and she encourages him to sleep. I had a word with her about it as we had a similar situation, with him not going to bed until 9pm (!) I still insisted he go up to bed and he's in his first bed now but he would come down the stairs. The best tactic, I found to discourage this behaviour was to take him straight back upstairs. I do find him hugely challenging at the moment, demanding to do everything himself.

If you do cut out the nap, ensure you serve dinner earlier. My son was used to eating at 6pm but if he has no nap, he would get really tired - too tired to even eat at 6pm, so I serve his dinner at 5pm, and keep him engaged in activities in the late afternoon when he wants to drop off to sleep. TV doesn't work him, In fact it has the opposite effect. I am also philosophical about it and expect that it is just a stage he's going through and hopefully we won't have this problem by the time he starts nursery.