This work lark, remind me again? (End of maternity leave)

[Moos]

I'm going back to work soon after almost a year of maternity leave. Although I'm looking forward to it, I'm also quite nervous and concerned:-

- that my son will miss me, and that I know I will miss him hugely

- that with rushing to work early and rushing home early I won't be able to balance doing my both my jobs

- that after such a long time away I'll be rubbish at work, which I used to take pride in being good at

- about being regarded as 'a mummy' by colleagues, with all the stereotyping and discrimination that goes with it

- some other things as well, but I won't wibble on further

Any good tips from people who've been in this position, or who are sharing doing a paid job with being a parent? Goodness knows I'm grateful that I can have both a career and my darling boy, so don't get me wrong, I know how lucky I am - but your good advice would be welcome.

[SteveT]

Is it possible to do any of your work at home?

Is it possible to work flexi hours?

Any chance of your spouse getting a fat promotion?

Move nearer to your work to reduce travel time/costs.

Go part-time.

Get alimoney payments for mooslet from Macca.

[Moos]

Hi Steve, and thank you very much for your creative reply - I will be working part-time (initially 3 days, then 4 days per week) and may be able to WFH from time to time, which will at least cut out the commute. And at least I will be home every day in time to play with Mooschen before giving him his supper and bath and tucking him up in bed.

But leave the area!? Goodness me, and from a regular forumite, too. :) As for Macca, the ungrateful git won't cough up. I guess I should have got that lawyer after all...

Seriously, though, it's not that I would like to change the circumstances, I guess I was just wondering how it's going to feel, how hard/easy it will be to swap hats back and forth, that kind of thing.

[dulwichmum]

Poor lovely Moos,

Staying at home with baby is both empowering and earth shatteringly destructive of one's self esteem. You and your poor lovely man and baby, what a stressful time. When Mooslet becomes more mobile and begins to manhandle your Bang and Olufson accessories, you could actually be glad that you can hand him over to someone else to care for during his waking hours... or you could be surprised by how little you can survive on as a family if you consider perhaps some kind of compromise like reducing your days at work (I mean, how many San Tropez treatments does a girl really need?).

Have you considered drinking half a bottle of Chablis each evening? It has done wonders for me and my young family (although I must admit that the whites of my eyes have just turned yellow). You can have your vino delivered in bulk from Majestic you know...

[SteveT]

It will only be the first couple of days or so until the routine kicks in, then it will feel you never had any time off at all.

Before you know it he'll find a buddy to play with, and he'll be in school five minutes later.;-)

[Scruffy Mummy]

It can be quite challenging - balancing both paid work and being a parent. When my son was one, I was working about 2 days a week (I say about as I'm self-employed). He was with a childminder for 2 days a week from 6 months to one year. Then at 14 months, he went to nursery 3 days a week. He is now 3 years old. Things I think that really help are:

1) sharing pickup and drop off with your partner if you aren't a single parent. It's a big challenge to have to get up, get a wiggly toddler fed, dressed off to nursery, then yourself to work and then repeat the same thing. I find life much easier on the days I can just sail out of the house and leave my partner to sort it all out and get sprog to work! Then if you are sharing pickups you can also stay behind at work one or twice a week to get stuff done and go out for an after work drink with colleagues or friends.

2) Give yourself some time to have an 'induction' period again at work - as if it was a new job. Just to settle in and re-familiarise yourself with new developments, new colleagues, etc.

3) Remember that although you have had a year off work and you've had some BIG changes in your life, you are still the intelligent competent woman you were!

To be honest, after my maternity leave, I LOVED work!! You get to have un-interrupted tea breaks, read the paper on the train, go shopping without a wee one in tow, talk to other adults about things other than babies!!!!

[Moos]

Thanks, Scruffy, for your sensible advice and reassurance. And yes I am quite excited about going into a situation where it may be hours before I get dribbled on!

And thank you, too, your DMumesty, I shall muse on your wise words over a glass of chilled champagne. Which I will of course have to nick from the local offy, so as not to drive up household costs.

Night, all.

[SteveT]

Some of us yearn to be dribbled on, that is the more absorbent of us.

[snorky]

work is wrong, avoid it if you can

theres no nobility in killing yourself

spend time with yer kids

[Cassius]

Can/should one avoid work even if one hasn't got kids?

[snorky]

I did for as long as I could and Ive turned out to be a fine upstanding fellow - albeit now with a propensity to pull sickies at the first sign of a sniff

[spadetownboy]

Cassius Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Can/should one avoid work even if one hasn't got

> kids?

there comes a time when its nice to get to work,for a bit of peace and quiet.