Quiet room...

[EDKiwi]

*finally manages to clear the snow from the front door, tip toes in past various empty bottles and dozing inhabitants, including one with a flashing rudolph nose*

*stokes the fire and begins to restock the bar and clear away the mountain of emptys after shooing the penguins back outside*

[dulwichmum]

*Shudders into life, removes flashing red nose and flashes a dirty look to red devil.*

*Pops behind enormous Chinese screen and pops on pair of Slendertone shorts.*

*Sits back in enormous arm chair.*

Clench and relax, CLench and relax, CLEnch and relax, CLENch and relax, CLENCh and relax, CLENCH and relax.

"OHMYGOD!"

[Michael Palaeologus]

Ah DM, I remember "clench, relax, clench relax, clench relax", normally followed by "Did you pay for half an hour or 45 minutes?"

That was before the kids (the first batch), the NOTW "expose" and the subsequent lucrative hush money.

Happy days..

[dulwichmum]

Mike dear heart, what are you talking about?

[KalamityKel]

Blimey does no one ever air this room? Smells quite yucky in here!

I may reconsider my visit... ::o

[red devil]

*Sniff, sniff...pins photo of Rafa Benitez on dartboard...leaves Fresh 'n' Vac next to the Dyson*

[dulwichmum]

Trots into quiet room followed by new orange haired, pale skinned au pair from Ireland...

"Get to it sweetie, it's time to do the Shake and Vac!"

[Michael Palaeologus]

"Ding-Dong, a fellow Ginger and natural as well"

"Dulwichmum, your roots are showing and you are letting the side down"

[dulwichmum]

Michael dear heart, I don't know what you mean (opens fan)!

I am currently honey blonde, and Nicky Clarke himself is responsible - he has gone right off ginger of late (I wonder why...).

Dearbhail, my new au pair, is as large as my husbands bonus, but much less attractive! Help yourself sweetie, but remember, my hair is always perfect and my au pair must be home before midnight - I work her like a dog!

[dulwichmum]

.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Interesting point, DM.

I fear, from another thread, you are wrong about plantation shutters. They are simply naff in victorian terraced stock. As for Georgian, NO!

[iaineasy]

*Checks through soda stream selection, and smiles ear to ear at sight of Cream Soda*

*makes the mistake of putting the concentrate in before the bubbles and makes a small explosion the iranians would be proud of, and wanting to make the best of it starts an ibiza style foam party in the fall out from the soda stream machine, hoping dulwich mum will turn up for a quiet boogie*

3275 people have visited the quiet room with nothing to say but maybe nows the time to start the silent disco. Its friday after all.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Golly, I misread that as concrete and thought for a moment, you were thwarting squatters in the Quiet Room.

[Keef]

*Walks in, and gives a big thumbs up to cream soda*

[dulwichmum]

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Interesting point, DM.

>

> I fear, from another thread, you are wrong about

> plantation shutters. They are simply naff in

> victorian terraced stock. As for Georgian, NO!

I have been trying to hang up my poster in here since last night. It is so frustrating *wail*, the blu tack simply won't take the weight and I am not sure that my staple gun is appropriate.

Please Mr Keef, could you pour me a cream soda?

[dulwichmum]

Lets put the Party back in Politics! Vote Dulwichmum.

 

[red devil]

*Throws vuvuzela into swimming pool...takes down picture of Rafa Benitez pinned to the dartboard and puts up picture of Capello*

[Michael Palaeologus]

Hmmm, its the end of Summer, Time to cover the swimming pool, removing Dulwichmums hand knitted swim wear from the changing room.

Sent a 5 year old up the chimney this morning, let him keep the soot and gave him a tanner for his troubles.

A quick dust, hoover, de-lousing and the Quiet Room will be ready for the Autumn.

[Moos]

Humph, Moosling could have done with the pocket money.

[Michael Palaeologus]

Sorry Moos, I used one of Dulwichmum's off-spring as they need the cash after James' run in with the SFO.

Would the Moosling like to cut the grass? We have a 2100 Horse-power turbo sit-on lawn mover in the mews.

[Moos]

That sounds a bit too safe. Haven't you got a job that needs a chainsaw?

[Michael Palaeologus]

The front privet-hedge needs trimming, that would be more of a hedge-clipper job. Hedge clippers would be more the Moosling's thing dont you think? I know that he has all the manic instincts needed to successfully wield a chainsaw, but sadly as yet not the stature.

Come the Spring, no doubt a chainsaw will be just the thing as he follows in the family tradition stature-wise.

A Christmas present idea there for you. His little face will light up to see a chainsaw next to the Christmas tree.

Best buy a titanium tannenbaum; or a drum kit instead of the chainsaw.

[mockney piers]

*Dons slipper, light's top drawer shag, eases into recliner, pours gin, plashes tonic and a squeeze of lime*

*waves to quids*

- just us then, G&T?

[Brendan]

For gods' sake don't set fire to her!

[????]

*pulls up chair, declines G&T, gets out hipflask (Tis Stella)*

Yup...*whispers* apart from that bloody colonial