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"Ah well, if nothing will upset you Mr Palaeologus, I shall use these spare corporate entertainment type tickets for the World Cup Final to light this pretty tea light on the mantle piece. I am sure there are lots of spare tickets, just lying about all over the place. James had said I could pass them on to a chum."


*Lights tickets with a match, lights Diptique candle with paper and tosses burning paper into cavarnous fire place*


"Look how brightly they light."


*Stands back and admires the pretty colour as the paper sizzles in the fire place...*

*Even the now clearly barking DM cannot upset me, I have just read the Sunday papers and all is well with the world*


*Are the you the Nunhead Dominatrix DM? That would explain the nipple clamps*


*Observing the mad sparkle in the pyromaniac DM, I cant help thing that the fate of Guy Fawkes was probably for the best*

This is a little know ritual in the Established Church, not dissimilar to Maundy Thursday. Performed a fortnight before Halloween it protects the dunker from witches and ghoulies. The Queen (GBH) regularly goes to districts such as Rye Lane and can be seen mashing pumpkins to apply to the plates of impoverished, footsore peasants.

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