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"Ah well, if nothing will upset you Mr Palaeologus, I shall use these spare corporate entertainment type tickets for the World Cup Final to light this pretty tea light on the mantle piece. I am sure there are lots of spare tickets, just lying about all over the place. James had said I could pass them on to a chum."


*Lights tickets with a match, lights Diptique candle with paper and tosses burning paper into cavarnous fire place*


"Look how brightly they light."


*Stands back and admires the pretty colour as the paper sizzles in the fire place...*

*Even the now clearly barking DM cannot upset me, I have just read the Sunday papers and all is well with the world*


*Are the you the Nunhead Dominatrix DM? That would explain the nipple clamps*


*Observing the mad sparkle in the pyromaniac DM, I cant help thing that the fate of Guy Fawkes was probably for the best*

This is a little know ritual in the Established Church, not dissimilar to Maundy Thursday. Performed a fortnight before Halloween it protects the dunker from witches and ghoulies. The Queen (GBH) regularly goes to districts such as Rye Lane and can be seen mashing pumpkins to apply to the plates of impoverished, footsore peasants.

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    • Thank you, this really made me chuckle. It's like you met my brother as he would be the one taking more than his share. Plus the 'pikey' chutney is a winner. Unusual as in can't be identified??? Sadly I'm not the host otherwise I would definitely do that I regularly shop in the Cheese Block and am a fan. But as people have pointed out, there is no cheese shop that charges less based on bulk, so Aldi unusual cheeses may be what the familam receive! Yay, so I can get discounted mouse nibbled cheese still! Oooo, now I do love a Stinking Bishop. It actually offends my stepmum by it's stinkiness but luckily she is not one of the attendees at this particular gathering.  This is blooming genius. It's actually my partner who has the biggest issue with buying in plastic so I will have to hide the wrappers from him!
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