Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Dear Michael,


I think you will in fact find that it is a picture of you dressed up as a laydee, and the caption should read something along the lines of; "Please Michael, would you wash your pits and use some lifeguard? The overpowering stench of cabbage is terrifying the livestock"

*fades in*

*Looks around at the festive decoration*

*Looks down at himself. Still in black and white and not looking very festive*

*Steps out of black and white and hangs it up on the coat rack for future use*

*Emerges from his retro folly, resplendent in a red jumper embroidered with snowflakes, bobble hat, green tweed plus-fours and black patent leather hobnails.*

*Takes up Waterford Crystal pint pot and fills it with port from the decanter.*

*Shakes left boot to dislodge Bat dog?s amorous attentions*

*Pulls up a chair by the fireplace*

*Opens a leather bound book: ?The Complete Dialogues of Plato?*

*Starts reading a copy of ?Judge Dredd vs. Lobo: Psycho-Bikers vs. The Mutants From Hell? hidden between the pages*

*Slides in, feeling "blue". Eyes light up with the warm glow of the open fire and the fairy lights*

*feels spirits lifting already*

*notices Brendan, looking the part, reading Plato*

*poor guy is smirking - the text is obviously too difficult for him*

*opens the no.11 window on the Advent Calender since nobody else has bothered*

*....what? a pile of sherbert fountains - yippee!*

*Gets halfway through a wolf whistle before remembering himself and cutting it short*

*Blimey that?s just brought back a boyhood memory of the year the Vicar?s wife played Mrs Claus in the Christmas Charity Play*

*Shifts around uncomfortably in his chair*

*Wipes mince pie and sherbet from his jumper and refills crystal pint pot with port*

*Offers decanter around*

*Tries to banish image of Keef and Dawn French from his mind*

*French... French.. Where have I seen that lately?*

*Spots a French horn*

*Unhooks the Super-Megatron Nuclear Space Blaster ? from its home above the fireplace*

*Sets dial 1 to Silent*

*Sets dial 2 to Sub Atomic Dystrophy*

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • If you want to change a radiator and it is the same size, pretty straight forward.  isolate by turning the two valves, one is straight forward hand twist, the other side you need to take the cap off and get an adjustable spanner and turn till closed.  Both clockwise. Use the same spanner to undo the large nuts that fix the radiator to the pipework, open the bleed valve, get a flatish container to catch the water which is likely to be a grotty black, sheets/plastic underneath to protect floor/floor covering.  Then jiggle off, tipping as quick as you an into your water container. Fingers crossed it will be the same back plate fitting.  If not you will have to take the old one off and fix the new one. Replacement is a reverse, allowing the rad to refill and let the air out. No naked flames involved. If it is a different size I can advise on that too. Lots on line too: https://www.toolstation.com/help-and-advice/how-to-guides/how-to-remove-radiator?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=19747119835&gclid=CjwKCAiAkvDMBhBMEiwAnUA9BR26YwBA6kOfcR4-JVxfJEjWdhRk6j0imCNcsIfu064wHN54-cs10xoCZ4cQAvD_BwE Although this is for a pressurised (combi) system where you need to get it back to pressure.  Pretty simple.  I don't bother with jointing compound.    
    • Fair enough - I'm absolutely wrong on that one. 👍
    • I'm still completely unclear what happened, apart from that a car apparently crashed into a lamp post opposite the Co-op. I presume the one in Lordship Lane, though the OP doesn't say. Was it speeding? Did it swerve to avoid someone who ran into the road? Did something go wrong with its brakes or steering? Did the driver have a medical emergency or fall asleep or got  distracted by something? Was there something slippery on the road surface? Was the driver hurt? Were any passengers hurt? Were any pedestrians or other road users hurt? Were there any witnesses? 
    • confused by the question?
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...