Quiet room...

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Hello Keef - can I raid your orange tree please? Ta. Takes OJ and coffee to comfy seat and settles down with one of yesterdays Krispy Kreme donuts. Feell dazed but OK*

[dulwichmum]

Sits quietly in corner behind Japanese screen, hopes no one will laugh at recent cosmetic enhancement...

Puts on large sunglasses and walks to accept kind cup of coffee from Mr MacGabhann. Tries to smile - unable to change facial expression. Wonders if anyone will think I look rejuvinated...

[Domitianus]

Laughs at DM's Trout Pout! Snigger! Offers up silent prayer of thanks that I am a man and can embrace the coming years as an opportunity to become 'distonguished'.

[dulwichmum]

Expresses feelings of sadness and embarassment as Mr Domitianus is escorted from the quiet room by the Administrator and some rather attractive police men for passing urine in a bottle in a public place.

Gushes "It was my civic duty to inform the police".

Dutifully signs witness statement while shedding a tear on attractive police mans shoulder and pointing to evidence (half empty Evian bottle containing straw coloured fluid next to Domitianus' chair).

Thinks to self, "How I love Assam tea with no milk" and is grateful that facial muscles will not allow expression of personal satisfaction on face. "Oh how I would laugh if I could just move my face..."

[citizenED]

*manages to smuggle hi-res digicam into Quiet Room*

*starts snapping*

*focuses on the bar - zooms in*

*is that a bottle of Napoleon Brandy?*

*think i'll just have a nip...*

[mockney piers]

* pokes head round corner *

* no psychiatrists? check *

* no garden gnomes? check *

* noone arguing about boobies? check *

* enters room, pours tot of vintage brandy with a nod to citizen - eases into keef's recliner *

[Keef]

*Wanders in and slumps in to chair*

*Wonders why some people on this forum don't read a post fully and consider it before they attack it having missed the point completely*

*Notices boys drinking and decides to to worry about anything anymore* :)-D

[Domitianus]

Points out to assorted policemen over whom DM is swooning (and paying particular attention to most attractive young WPC) that the straw-coloured fluid in Evian bottle could not possibly be mine as a quick dip stick test showed that its originator is pregnant. Glances suspiciously around room to discover possible perpetrators of this wicked frame-up!

[dulwichmum]

Congratulates Domitianus on her impending addition to her family as she is escorted from the quiet room by police. Tucks leaflet on the benefits of breastfeeding into her handbag before tossing it into the back of the police car as she throws her legs about in the manner of Lily Savage in a lap dancing club.

Signs large cheque towards police pension fund.

Pats hands together in the manner of "a job well done".

Trots back into quiet room to buy drinks for all of chums...

[Domitianus]

Points out that Laura Ashley dress notwithstanding, Domitianus is actually a 'he' and that DM has again misunderstood the subtleties afoot in prtevious postings.

[SeanMacGabhann]

* passes Domitianus some Tippex for spelling mistakes *

* reminds him that I need it back as my writing is the worst *

* passes gold star for concise and clever posting on Americans (but glosses over the OTHER thread ;-) )

* Thanks DM for the drink but can I have a lucozade instead? I'm STILL suffering from an over-egged weekend *

[dulwichmum]

Passes large frothy glass of lucozade to Sean. Pops a straw in the glass and puts furry throw accross his knees. Plumps large Hungarian goose down pillow and puts it behind his head.

Shakes fist at Dominatrix...

[Domitianus]

Dom mouths "Guess we can't agree on everything" and returns Tippex.

[citizenED]

*sniffs tippex*

*that smells "trippy"*

*takes marker pens from pocket*

*I may be a while...*

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Wanders in with Mrs Dobbin the lactating donkey - DOES ANYBODY OBJECT? I should think not, she has been a member of the Lounge longer than most*

*Waves to DM "Looking lovely tonight DM - gracious in victory - have you fused Batdog - in case of further trouble?"*

*"Hello all - Domitianus, you look lovely in that frock - in the colours of your old college debating team I suspect"*

*Takes a fine brand - squirts in a little donkey milk - interesting*

[Asset]

*milks Mrs Dobbin onto bowl of meusli*

*warm and frothy, yum*

thinks - not much drinking going on in here lately

*rummages under sofa for bottle of tequila*

[Polly D]

*Asks Domitianus to hold the baby while expressing milk for him to feed ... thinks better of it and borrows Mike's donkey*

*Wonders whether anyone else thinks Stella off Eastenders looks like Cherie Blair*

[Domitianus]

*Offers MP half full Evian bottle and says "Cheely little number, just in from South Africa. Do try it."*

[mockney piers]

*as a sup....niiiice *

[citizenED]

*Wakes up with head stuck to floor - ouch*

*seems aptly quiet in here*

*can hear the strains of some hoe-down in other local establishment*

*intriguing - think i'll send doppleganger to check it out...*

[Keef]

*Nips in to the quiet room from Rancho Relaxo*

*Puts up a sign*

"Please join us in the Ranch, as it's summer"

*Tuns to leave and slips over in a pool of milk*

[Huguenot]

*Looks sadly around the deserted room*

*An owl hoots quietly in the corner and scratches at crumb of toast*

*A loose corner of the swimming pool cover flaps gently in the wind, disturbing a convocation of dead leaves gathered on the concrete apron*

*A trail of hoofmarks leads out the door surrounded by a constellation of yellowing splashmarks*

*A discarded sombrero gathers dust where it was left behind lonely in the dash to the sun*

*Is this then how it ends?*

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Strolls in - Gods its hot at that Rancho!*

*Nice and quiet in here though*

*Its a bit grubby - isnt Ana back yet?*

[SeanMacGabhann]

If Huguenot's post was the last one it would have been beautiful...

but as it recently looks like this:

Before

I have spent the last 24 hours in shorts and a vest, some hammer and nails and a swimming-pool's worth of paint, attempting a revamp...

Come on in

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Umm, did you come across my Razzle collection whilst you were sorting things out?*