Stages of Forumitis

[Moos]

Stage 1 (Newbie)

- reads the forum from time to time

- has been caught by boss giggling at Forum

- has posted on someone else's thread

- has very possibly been given a kicking by regular Forumites for "having a hidden agenda"

- is seriously but nervously considering going to a Forum drink

- number of posts less than 100

Stage 2 (Regular)

- reads the Forum weekly, even on holiday

- has started a thread on a frivolous topic

- no longer gets a telling off by boss for unexplained random giggling, just receives a hard look and a sigh

- wouldn't miss a Forum drink

- number of posts less than 500

Stage 3 (Addict)

- reads the Forum daily, even on holiday

- has started a thread on a serious topic, and fought off opposition from all comers

- Forum has been mentioned in annual appraisal

- invites other Forumites to important personal events in Real Life

- has secret crush on one or more other prominent Forumite

- has trouble deciding whether to go to next Forum drink or brother's wedding

- number of posts less than 2000

Stage 4 (Conversion Complete)

- has difficulty distinguishing between Forum and Real Life.

- gets jittery if not able to log on several times a day

- has had Forum addiction cited in breakup with partner / divorce proceedings / getting fired

- has been summoned to the Quiet Room

- (if male) has not-so-secret crush on Dulwichmum

- (if female) has not-so-secret crush on James Nesbitt - (only kidding!)

- number of posts ...

[KalamityKel]

I can't identify wiv any of the above stages :-| am I weird?

[mockney piers]

*shifts uncomfortably in chair*

*rubs thighs* mmmm dulwichmum....

(genius post btw moos)

[giggirl]

So funny

[lozzyloz]

Stage 5 (Post Conversion Aversion)

- Signs up to Class War

- Sips Nero coffee in William Hill

- Secretly moves to Penge

- Makes the Castle their local

- Changes username

- Starts contributing to South Norwood Forum

[Moos]

No, Kel, YOU are normal! :)-D

[KalamityKel]

Moos... incidentally where did u get the "invite to the Quiet room" bit from? didn't realise it was by invitation only :-$

[Moos]

It was a post of Annaj's a while ago.. she got summoned to the Quiet Room and commented that this must be 'stage 4 Forumitis'. That's where I got the idea from, so thought I'd acknowledge my source...

I'll edit the original to correct!

:))

P.S. You and I pretty much live in the Quiet Room, so maybe we should be issuing the invites... ;-)

[KalamityKel]

Tis a wonderful idea... filtering out the slobbers, short, and generally minging from the much need sex gods/godesses :))

[????]

You missed

1) Joins forum

2) Immediately calls everyone idiots

3) Involved in several online slanging matches

4) Invites on-line anatagonist to a face to face 'meet'

5) Calms dowm a bit

[Brendan]

lol

[Bellenden Belle]

What's the word for those people who appear on the forum, usually very dramatically, kick up a stink, and then disappear from sight.... I'm thinking Spangles; I'm thinking that funny old kid-hating piano teacher; the more recent poster about the Youth Offender Centre opening... where are they in the scheme of things... are they all sitting in a rehab session together (or around one big cauldron) as we speak? We need to know!

[Keef]

Shit, I did invite a couple of people from the forum to my wedding bash! And how did you know about my secret crush on Piers, I thought I'd hidden it so well with manly slaps on the back during hugs! :-S

[KalamityKel]

"Social rejects"? No? ;-)

Edit to include: "in reference to BB not Keef!" :-S

[mockney piers]

Ooh ooh it should be CRAZYNURSE syndrome.

Better that than osborne stewartitis

Don't worry Keef darling, I've always known :-$

[Cassius]

Bellenden Belle Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> What's the word for those people who appear on the

> forum, usually very dramatically, kick up a stink,

> and then disappear from sight.... I'm thinking

> Spangles; I'm thinking that funny old kid-hating

> piano teacher; the more recent poster about the

> Youth Offender Centre opening... where are they in

> the scheme of things... are they all sitting in a

> rehab session together (or around one big

> cauldron) as we speak? We need to know!

Are they trolls?

When I was still lurking I read a few posts from Spangles - made my eyes water!

[mockney piers]

Not sure these are trolls or flamers as such. Just people that come in with a chip on their shoulder and SOMETHING TO SAY, then can't understand why people are attacking them, so retreat.

This is the classic academic explanation known as the Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory

 

[SeanMacGabhann]

Moos original post had of laughing out loud on the bus just now.

and dont. . Im well aware that reading the forum on the bus makes me a stage 9

[KalamityKel]

Unless u happen to live on/in a bus :))

We're all going on a... summer holiday...

[Brendan]

SeanMacGabhann Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Moos original post had of laughing out loud on the

> bus just now.

>

> and dont. . Im well aware that reading the forum

> on the bus makes me a stage 9

You would have been rumbled anyway. Classic giveaway that someone is posting from a mobile. Use of the word ?of? in stead of ?me?

[Azul]

am a stage 1.5 kind of forumite

[SteveT]

stage 1. Lurker for a few weeks

stage 2. register, to post indignant rant against limp wristed, left wing, liberallist something, now long forgotten.

stage 3. uses forum to vent random parts of personality for five minutes, days, weeks....

stage 4. gets spotted by forum police as suspected trouble maker

stage 5. learns to apologise to receivers of any/all previous offensive posts

stage 6. tip-toe around peoples sensitivies, to accomodate all other forum users, when one naturally favours the 'Gengis khan positition' leaning slightly towards more 'rightish' sympathies

[mockney piers]

Dulwich can accommodate everyone. The Hamlets aren't called the pink[o] and blues for nothing you know ;-)

[SteveT]

:) I can't argue with that mp

[Moos]

Yes, I think my original post was a bit linear. We need a flow chart with options for people to come in like lions or lambs and then either flame off into the sunset or settle down with a pipe. Plus you have serious Forumites and then dilettanteish people like me who just head straight for the Lounge. Oh, it's all getting too complicated! And apparently (according to Brendan) there are further stages beyond 5 (thanks lozzyloz) but they're not allowed to talk about it...