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  • 2 weeks later...

The Psychiatrist and the Proctologist



Two best friends graduated from medical school at the same time. They decided that, in spite of two different 'specialties', they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.


Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist. Dr. Jones was the proctologist.


They put up a sign reading: Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: "Hysterias and Posteriors".


The town council was livid and insisted they change it.


So, the docs changed it to read: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids"


This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign. "Catatonics and High Colonics"......No go.


Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives"....thumbs down again.


Then came: "Minds and Behinds"....still no good.


Another attempt resulted in: "Lost Souls and Butt Holes".......unacceptable yet again.


So they tried: "Analysis and Anal Cysts".....not a chance.


"Nuts and Butts"??.....no way.


"Freaks and Cheeks"??.....still no good.


"Loons and Moons"?.....forget it.


Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with: Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones -- "Odds and Ends."


Everyone loved it.

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An Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman sitting in the bar, the Eng said,,I have a good one ! My wife floated 2 feet above me when she had an orgasm, great! I'll drink to that they said. 5 mins later Jock says, My wife floated 4 feet abv me after an orgasm, WoW! I'll drink to that they said. 5 mins later Paddy pipes up and said, I got a wee cracker, me missus hit di fikin roof after I whipe me dick on the curtain.
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Steves birthday party


steves wife took him to the strip club as a suprise


they got to the door and the bouncer said ...hi ya steve,nice to c ya


his wife said ...how the fuck does he know you


steve said ....he is my friend from ages ago


so they went in....they got to the bar...and the barmaid said....hi steve.. pint of carlsberg ? ..his wife said...you bastard...steve quickly replied ...she is my best mates sister, she knows what i drink


his wife felt guilty, so she asked the best looking stripper to come over and treat steve


she said ...hi steve, do you want the usual? i might not have enough time to give you a blowie


steves wife smacked him round the head and demanded to go home, not believing any of his protests at innocence...steve explained she was just being jealous



they got in a cab and



the taxi driver said



hi ya Steve...usual hotel mate??... *ucking hell, you pulled a right minger tonite mate

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One afternoon my neighbour asked me ( Hi ya !!!!)Can I tell the hacker man that your windows are closed

and your friend is listening the radio on his TV , and I said NO, NO please tell him my computer

is on and my accounts are open he will be fine with that, becouse he won't find anything apart from me. ha, ha, ha,

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