a joke

[georgia]

What cheese is used to disguise a small horse?

Mascarpone

What cheese is made backwards?

Edam

[a bloke]

Wayne Rooney has used Colleen's pubic hair for his hair transplant.

Apparently the success rate is much higher if transplanted from one kunt to another.

[????]

1400

[a bloke]

I've never been able to complete the alphabet...

... I don't know Y ?

[Rhinestone Cowboy]

The missus asked me, ?When you?re on a boys only trip away, do you think about me??

Apparently ?Only to stop myself coming too quickly? wasn't the right answer.

[srisky]

Apparently you can but Meatloaf underwear - on the front it says 'I'd do anything for love' and on the back it says 'but I won't do that'...

[Captain Scarlet]

A friend of mine told me he was off out today to have sex with an American billionaires wife. I have just seen him and asked how he he got on and he said he came up Trumps.

[Captain Scarlet]

I grew up in a deprived area. When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream, then place a cherry on top of my head...

...yes life was tough in the gateau!

[katie1997]

and there was me thinking you must have lived in the Black Forest...in the 1970s.

[Ted Max]

"Are there any Greek dry cleaners nearby?"

"Why?"

"I've got Croesus in my trousers."

[Jah Lush]

Just after my wife had given birth, I asked the doctor, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?"

He winked at me and said, "Well, I'm off duty in ten minutes - meet me in the car park."

[Captain Scarlet]

Medical Fact: if a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day,it increases the chance of a stroke. If you let her finish the bottle she will probably suck it as well

[Captain Scarlet]

What do you call an ape in a minefield?

A baBOOM.

[Salsaboy]

I've just got myself one of those penis enlargers.

She's blonde, aged 25 and called Sophie.

[Jah Lush]

The Psychiatrist and the Proctologist

Two best friends graduated from medical school at the same time. They decided that, in spite of two different 'specialties', they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.

Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist. Dr. Jones was the proctologist.

They put up a sign reading: Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: "Hysterias and Posteriors".

The town council was livid and insisted they change it.

So, the docs changed it to read: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids"

This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign. "Catatonics and High Colonics"......No go.

Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives"....thumbs down again.

Then came: "Minds and Behinds"....still no good.

Another attempt resulted in: "Lost Souls and Butt Holes".......unacceptable yet again.

So they tried: "Analysis and Anal Cysts".....not a chance.

"Nuts and Butts"??.....no way.

"Freaks and Cheeks"??.....still no good.

"Loons and Moons"?.....forget it.

Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with: Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones -- "Odds and Ends."

Everyone loved it.

[Captain Scarlet]

Two hydrogen atoms step out of a pub. One pats its pockets and says "I think I left an electron on the bar", "Are you sure?", "Yes, I'm positive!"

[Frankito]

Which key can open every locked door?

A pikey... >:D<

[Captain Scarlet]

An Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman sitting in the bar, the Eng said,,I have a good one ! My wife floated 2 feet above me when she had an orgasm, great! I'll drink to that they said. 5 mins later Jock says, My wife floated 4 feet abv me after an orgasm, WoW! I'll drink to that they said. 5 mins later Paddy pipes up and said, I got a wee cracker, me missus hit di fikin roof after I whipe me dick on the curtain.

[Captain Scarlet]

Steves birthday party

steves wife took him to the strip club as a suprise

they got to the door and the bouncer said ...hi ya steve,nice to c ya

his wife said ...how the fuck does he know you

steve said ....he is my friend from ages ago

so they went in....they got to the bar...and the barmaid said....hi steve.. pint of carlsberg ? ..his wife said...you bastard...steve quickly replied ...she is my best mates sister, she knows what i drink

his wife felt guilty, so she asked the best looking stripper to come over and treat steve

she said ...hi steve, do you want the usual? i might not have enough time to give you a blowie

steves wife smacked him round the head and demanded to go home, not believing any of his protests at innocence...steve explained she was just being jealous

they got in a cab and

the taxi driver said

hi ya Steve...usual hotel mate??... *ucking hell, you pulled a right minger tonite mate

[HappyBee]

One afternoon my neighbour asked me ( Hi ya !!!!)Can I tell the hacker man that your windows are closed

and your friend is listening the radio on his TV , and I said NO, NO please tell him my computer

is on and my accounts are open he will be fine with that, becouse he won't find anything apart from me. ha, ha, ha,

[Loz]

I think that one lost something in the translation...

[maxxi]

Loz Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I think that one lost something in the

> translation...

from bot-ese to English you mean?

[HappyBee]

maxxi Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Loz Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > I think that one lost something in the

> > translation...

>

> from bot-ese to English you mean?

Don't worry he is only protecting the Foxes

[guna nua]

That is by far the best,although I do like bagpuss,keef and jah lush.. especially for his englishness

[????]

Greece - Sales of tzatziki and taramasalata plummet provoking widespread fears of a double dip recession