What?s your toddler?s bedtime routine?

[emza78]

Just being nosey really.. and I feel that ours needs a re-jig. We always used to bath, then into the lounge for pyjamas and books, then to bedroom for quiet bottle in dark then bed. Lately she?s been too busy hopping around over sofas to really concentrate on the books but I found if we read them in her bedroom she?s much more focussed. (She's 27 months btw.) However then we have the problem of milk, I?ve been giving her the bottle as we read the book but she can?t interact with mouthful which is infuriating for her. So we read book without milk then I turn off light and give bottle but she insists on ?more books? and we have a battle of wills for 15 minutes where she refuses to take milk and I pretend not to care. I?ve found that she is more willing to take the bottle in the dark if I make up a story and tell it to her but to be honest I?m rubbish at it, there?s only so many adventures in an ?enchanted forests? my brain is capable of inventing at that time of night!

So I?m thinking - read entertaining kids book first, then I read to her from a book with no pictures (enid blyton or something) whilst she has milk. It means the light isn?t switched off but hopefully that will be enough for her to wind down (she gets pretty hyperactive!) Anyone do similar? Does it work? Question of bottle vs beaker is a whole other can of worms!

[Worker]

Bath, moisturise, story, in bed with bottle of milk, sound machine on, light off, nighty night, door closed.

So we just give him the milk and it's his choice whether he drinks it. He often falls asleep cuddling the bottle without drinking it.

Works pretty well.

I should note that it took a long, long time to settle into this routine!

[Knomester]

We too have 'lively' bedtimes with our 2.5 year old and getting to the point of sleeping bag on, drink and book can be challenging to say the least at the moment!

Our 'routine' hasn't really changed for a long long time and goes along the lines of bath (alternate nights), then bedroom for nappy & pjs, sleeping bag on, switch main light off and lamp on and then onto mummy or daddy's knee for a drink (we switched to water from a normal cup quite a long time ago) and a story (only 1 story otherwise it would be never ending and we read plenty the rest of the time!!), quick cuddle, into the cot, light off and (hopefully) sleep.

[oimissus]

our routine for about 18 months (she's just recently turned 3) is bath (a riot), milk in bedroom, teeth, stories (2 on the sofa, one in bed), then lights out while she jumps around on the bed and tells us about her day, then a couple more minutes on the sofa while she properly settles. The whole thing takes a stupid amount of time, nigh on 90 minutes. She loves her stories, would have far more than 3, and jumps about like a loon, but in fact settles pretty speedily once we leave the room. Mainly.

We've jiggled it from time to time, particularly when she stopped having a sleeping bag, and then when she went from cot to bed, but the fundamentals have remained the same - the order, and once she's upstairs for bathtime she stays upstairs (except if grandparents are staying and she comes down to say goodnight to them). I'm quite strict at bedtime though Mr Oi stays up with her for longer and generally lets her faff about more, whereas I want her in bed as quickly as possible. She's usually down by 8.

Always has her lullaby CD playing, always certain toys in bed, door ajar to let in light from hall (she's had the odd funny phase about the dark).

With milk, if she says she doesn't want it I offer it to a toy or pretend to drink it myself (warm milk - yeuch!), that normally gets her focussed again!

[Knomester]

We have certain toys too oimissus - it started rabdomly one night at around 18 months when from nowhere (having never had anything in his cot ever) he demanded to take rabbit and bunny to bed (rabbit is not small...). It has progressed to rabbit, bunny, bob (his doll) and for the last few nights 'baby' (a toy mouse which he decided was a baby at the weekend). Last week he wanted to take polar bear to bed. Polar bear is HUGE so I said he'd rather sit on the floor and watch him. Last night he shouted me back upstairs after lights out (unusual and a sign of going through one of his phases...) to extend this wanting to take a piece of tissue paper to bed. I declined but put it on his chest of drawers where he could get it in the morning. Not sure if it's procrastination (possibly still a touch young for that) or struggling with transition from one thing to the next, a bit like taking random things with him to his childminder each day?

Always lights out and door closed for sleep (and all hallyway lights off). He insists on it, but then we've always done that.

[emza78]

Hehe, we have in the cot: Dumbo, bedtime bear, bunny, big bunny, spot, cat, bear, kitty and caterpillar - I don't know how she fits in!

I was wondering whether to cut back on her milk but she's started dropping daytime nap and will usually do a 13 hour stretch when this is the case so loathed to stop the milk incase this affects it! I think maybe it's time to swap to beaker though, she has just started happily taking milk from the beaker in the morning so maybe it's the right time.

On another note - interesting you say about taking random things to childminders as the last couple of days she's insisted on taking her baby to nursery with her,didn't think about it being a transition thing, I just thought she'd become extra fond of baby all of a sudden!

[Knomester]

We've not had naps at home since he was 19 months... *woe*

Occaisionally he asks for milk instead of water which is fine, but I don't offer it as he drinks it after teeth cleaning not before.

I think the taking things from one 'activity' to another is sometimes a subconscious thing to help them with the transition. I could be completely wrong, but I don't resist it because it tends to ease the process!

[emza78]

I didn't think they were allowed personal toys in nursery so at first I insisted baby was left in the car which she was VERY unhappy about! Then I got speaking to another mum who said her LO always brings in baby and from then on much happier mornings!

[jennyh]

mine is 24 months and it goes something like this...badly...

bath and then whilst the water is draining away she has her bottle, then refuses to get out until it gets too cold. She then finishes her milk whilst I get her dressed and ready for bed (which helps with the refusal to have nappy on etc) plus it means that I can do her teeth after her milk. To be honest the milk thing was becoming very frustrating as she would hop around the room like yours and it would take about half an hour! She is now finished in about 10 mins max.

Then we go to the bedroom having said goodnight to every single inanimate object in the flat, possibly twice. I then follow her commands on where I am allowed to sit, usually on the floor on a particular blanket and she picks the books she wants. She then messes around with bits and bobs whilst I tend to read the books to her teddy. Eventually she gets a bit more interested/jealous of teddy and she might sit next to me for a couple. We always put the lullaby on which lasts 15 minutes and then when it stops it is time to go to beed.

Then i give her a small lecture on how all her friends are asleep (lily included! :) and how she must sleep because she needs to dream and teddy is tired blah blah blah. She insists on turning the light off herself although is always reluctant to go to the cot unless she can take something with her - hairbrush is a favourite, or a book to 'read' to teddy. Sometimes she cries when I go, other times she chats to herself for what feels like hours.

To be honest I think she is always wired so frankly the relaxing bedtime has left the building and I dont see it returning!!! Whatever you can do to get by!

Edited to say that Bess has always had a teddy at nursery who lives there, identical to the one at home. Occasionally she sneaks in a doll or a book or something but usually surrenders them at the door.

[Jacks50]

I know this isn't answering the question but I don't give my 2.5 year old a bottle at bedtime - she does have one in the morning though - am I being a terrible mum?!!

[jennyh]

Not at all! My daughter has no milk in the morning so gets all her milk in the eve. Not sure when that's supposed to stop but they are all different. I'm sure she doesn't miss having one!

[Jacks50]

Thanks Jenny!

My middle son had a terrible bottle habit - he'd still have one now aged 5 if he could (and does occasionally!) so I'm trying to avoid the same thing with child no 3. So she has a terrible dummy habit instead! You'd think I'd know how to parent 3rd time round!!!

[jennyh]

Ha, well I'm not surprised that if you've struggled with a bottle habit before then def keen to avoid it. To be honest I've no idea when I'm supposed to stop it so would happily take any advice! Although the thought of her waking in the night due to hunger fills me with dread. Currently in the phase of waking for things like tissues or imaginary drinks of water!

[buggie]

Bugglet is 29 mths now & successful bedtimes come in waves... Has always been teeth, bath, pj's, stories x3 & bed, but this is being thrown out hugely by Bugglet being desperate to get extra stories, not helped by her twisting what was originally a v sweet final story snuggled in bed.

We'd do "story of Bugglet" (like a 2min "this is your life" minus guests or a rundown of her day), gradually though, there have been prequals to this..."story of mummy & daddy", "story of mummy" & "story of daddy", with "Cinderella" and "3 bears" occasionally requested too.

Tonight has hit a particular low with her using potty training to string bedtime out... Weeing has been a great success, pooing not hitting the mark yet (literally), so I've had 3 encores of "I need a poo" each time with nothing occurring :s

...always have nights like this when Mr Buggie's out!!

[Mutrik]

My children get bottle (cup) in the morning, night but also after their nap in the afternoon. Thought it is probably too much? They are 2.5 yrs...

Bedtime is bath most nights (chasing involved to catch them and take their clothes off and get them into the bath), bath followed by jumping on our bed whilst I dress them. Then story and milk, followed by teeth. Then another story followed by bed. Takes about an hour from when i start filling the bath.

[Sol]

Mine toddler bedtime routine is a nightmare at the moment, not wanting to go to sleep until 10pm. I think it is because she is getting out of her daily nap

[oimissus]

I don't think it's possible for them to have too much milk, as long as it isn't affecting their appetite. We've just dropped morning milk and it definitely means Miss Oi has a bigger breakfast. But if they're eating fine I don't think there's anything wrong with a lot of milk?

[shaunag]

My 26 month old is a joker too - starting around 7:30 bath, stories, teeth eventually sleep, between 9&10pm for past 2 months. Going to be fun when the clock change makes this even later. We have no bottle as she is dairy & soya free. Reassuring that there are plenty of other little monkeys out there. We have just got her a big girl bed which will be assembled tomorrow- hoping this helps things as she doesn't like the cot...

[Pickle]

Bedtime, if I'm doing it single-handedly, takes me 35-40 minutes from start to finish for 3 kids, including a bath and breastfeeding my 13 month old, and stories for the older two. I'm completely of the no nonsense approach - ready for bed, choose one story each, we read it, light off and door shut at 7pm. They need their sleep, I need my time to relax and enjoy being in an adult zone for a few hours!

[pebbles]

I'm with Pickle. I've just got the two (5 and 3) and they have a bath (brush teeth in bath) into daughters bedroom where i read one book and then I say goodnight and then up to son's bedroom where I read another book and I say goodnight. I love this time as I lie down in bed with them and snuggle up. But they know that it's one book (or chapter) and then lights out - no messing. Downstairs for 7pm and a glass of vino (and Home & Away on sky plus) before Mr P gets home :)

Neither has milk as they don't wear nappies at night so they have their last drink at tea time (although they do have water beakers beside their bed in case they wake up thirsty).

Good luck, I hope whatever tweaking you do works.

[Yak]

We don't do baths too often and just plop him in the showers in the morning with us which saves an awful amount of scamping, running round and generally revving up. Is that worth trying? We just do milk downstairs, then upstairs to wash teeth. Into bedroom, change nappy and into PJs and sleeping bag. One story, goodnight song, lights out and that's it. It takes about 10 minutes on a good day. I am super lucky, I know...

[emza78]

Thanks all, this has all very useful. The main thing I've noticed is we do teeth in the bath before milk - I blame the last dentist we went to who claimed it wasn't terribly important to do teeth after milk as long as they were brushed at least once a day. I think I'm going to try milk in a beaker with a book in the lounge just after pj's are on. Then brush teeth, book in bedroom, then night night... to be honest on the days she's at home with no nap she's so exhausted by about 530 I don't think she'll care what's going on!

[mrs f]

We do bath, teeth in bath, into bedroom straight away (which has low lighting already & curtains drawn) for pjs & bottle whilst he is being dressed then story, one or two max then lights out & bed at 7, leave the room & let him get on with it.

Perhaps try going straight into her bedroom rather than the sitting room which might get too exciting? I know if we deviate into different rooms my son gets all revved up & starts running around manically!

[radnrach]

I'm so glad to read this thread... Bedtime is a massive struggle and I have to a admit I tend to dread it.. My son is 2 1/2.

We start with bathtime (he usually plays in there for aaaaaages) and to get him out I have to take the plug out and wait for ages till I can convince him that it's too cold to stay in. Followed by chasing around trying to dress him without a fight. I've recently taken to holding him down through the screaming and squirming and just getting it done (I'm 37 weeks preg so this is a challenge), after that it's storytime with his blankeky and monkey.. we usually read about 4 books but he always tries for more. After that, light off and songs and then into bed. The last week or so we've had screaming fits once he goes into bed and it takes about half an hour for him to actually sleep. He tends to drink milk out of a sippy cup throughout bathtime/dressing time and then we brush his teeth before storytime. I've become really paranoid about him brushing teeth before milk, although I know it would help him sleep better if he could have milk right before bedtime during storytime.

When does this phase end??

[emza78]

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for your help, we implemented the new routine tonight, she took milk from the beaker for the first time so it's bye bye to bottles ( I don't know if I'm happy or sad?!), teeth got brushed and she went down like a dream- whole thing took 40 minutes, brilliant!