internet dating

[holloway]

i just can't get in to this, seems a bit desperate/sad. everyone seems to be doing it though. anyone had a go?

[KidKruger]

No. But I know some great match-ups by friends who've met someone via internet dating and had long-term relationships / married. Not sure it's as sad as blurting out your lines to someone in a bar after 10 pints.

[Burbage]

It's no less desperate and sad, and arguably a little safer, than popping out on the pull. Moreover, it's no longer a geekish enclave of the friendless, but a mainstream phenomenon which has, more or less, lost what stigma it had.

There are two drawbacks to it. First, the algorithms are better, but still not omniscient, so there's always the chance of your details being suggested to your spouse, boss, aunt or uncle, which may lead to awkwardness. And it won't be long before face-recognition software becomes widespread enough to justify a certain nervousness, especially if, like everyone else, you've lied through your teeth about your height, weight, career and love of the Great Outdoors.

If you don't let those bother you, then there's very little not to get into, unless you're baffled by the concept of dating as such. You pick a few suggestions, exchange a few messages in an attempt to work out what's wrong with them and, if they seem moderately sane and aren't a relative, you meet them somewhere neutral (not a cinema - you need to be able to talk and, more importantly, watch their hands) to refine or amend your conclusions.

Admittedly, there's a wide range of different agendas out there, though. Some just want someone to talk at for a few hours a week, some are after a few minutes in a cheap hotel, some are after a long-term relationship (or, at least, long enough to snaffle a house and half an income), some just want the sort of confidence-boost that they're no longer getting at home and others are in the habit of dining out on forgotten wallets. But that is the same for any form of courtship.

It won't suit everyone, all the same. For some it will involve too much time, money and effort for the questionable benefit to be justifiable. Objectively, given cats are cheaper, more reasonable and much better company than most people, the only real reason we have to court anyone at all is that we're incapable of resisting the reptilian urges of our selfish genes, and this particular urge is only curtailed, rather than proscribed, by law. Happily, if you're able to resist, there's nothing to stop you investing in tweed and ignoring the whole dating thing altogether.

[red devil]

Grab your coat Burbage, you've pullled...

[reeko]

I inadvertantly met my girlfriend of 3 years on this very forum after posting a spoof post. For something so sad its made me very happy. Heh.

[UncleBen]

Internt dating is a ruse, its a sex swap shop. .

[Salsaboy]

I've used it successfully.

[Mick Mac]

RD. I always suspected you were easy.

[Annette Curtain]

It's just another medium, no ?

Like anything in life; if you look hard enough you'll find it. It's just way easier on the internet.

Social networks or forums like this do get some people together, i've met a few on here and become friends

I know one couple who met via the EDF drinks night, who are now married with a baby boy & V happy indeed.

I imagine it's the same for dating or shagging.

[Loz]

Salsaboy Wrote:

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> I've used it successfully.

Sexcessfully, shurely?

[red devil]

Mick Mac Wrote:

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> RD. I always suspected you were easy.

One mention of algorithms and my knees go all a quiver...

[Mick Mac]

And I thought it was the big house you were after...

[Salsaboy]

You promised you wouldn't mention our trysts.

Loz Wrote:

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> Salsaboy Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > I've used it successfully.

>

> Sexcessfully, shurely?

[Sue]

My sister is in a long-term relationship with a man she met through Guardian Soulmates many moons ago.

I've used internet dating sites in the past. When I've been unattached, I hasten to add :)

I think you have to choose the site carefully - depending on what sort of person you are looking for, of course! I used Guardian Soulmates and Love and Friends, no idea if Love and Friends is still going. I also did actually meet some friends, through their forum, some of whom I'm still in touch with years later.

As Annette C says, it's just another way to meet people. I'd suggest you do meet up with them quickly though rather than having long email correspondences or whatever, as somebody who seems like your ideal person through their writing may not be at all when you meet them, and you might not be attracted to them in the flesh (hoho) at all.

Also you have to meet a hell of a lot of people before you find one where there's mutual attraction :)) , or at least that was my experience, so it depends whether you can be bothered :))

Also you usually know immediately you meet them whether you are interested or not, but in order to be polite you have to stay and talk to them for a reasonable amount of time .....

One thing that did piss me off was many people's obsession with age, which also led to many people lying about their age. I could sort of see why they did it, but it made me wonder what else they were lying about.

I met my current OH at a party in the end, quite unrelated to internet dating.

[Mick Mac]

The Guaridan is the last place I'd look.

[Otta]

I know several couples (including 2 married couples) who met through internet dating, and why not? It's bloody hard to go out and meet people.

I remember a Swedish girl I used to know telling me a decade ago that it was how most people met back home, but in this country there seems to be some stigma about it.

If I found myself single again, I'd definitely give it a go.

[Sue]

Mick Mac Wrote:

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> The Guaridan is the last place I'd look.

XXXXXX

I expect The Telegraph and The Mail have lots of lovely Thatcher like women for you, then :)

[woodrot]

holloway Wrote:

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> i just can't get in to this, seems a bit

> desperate/sad. everyone seems to be doing it

> though. anyone had a go?

no, but go for it. the 'net is only the initial introduction innit, the rest is up to yerselves.

[Loz]

Sue Wrote:

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> Mick Mac Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > The Guaridan is the last place I'd look.

>

> XXXXXX

>

> I expect The Telegraph and The Mail have lots of

> lovely Thatcher like women for you, then :)

The Telegraph you end up with a Thatcher-like. The Gruin you'd probably end up with some Harriet Harman harridan.

I'd go for the Beano's dating service, based on that.

[LadyDeliah]

What about Viz, Mick?

[Mick Mac]

I don't do fat.

[woodrot]

The Guardian had a little niche in non fascist dating for years, but since the 'net dating boom, it has lost its core sub 40 daters who have moved onto the wider dsating web, retaining mostly 50+ and retired folks innit

[*Bob*]

Mick Mac Wrote:

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> I don't do fat.

You've got to read between the lines though, Mick.

In online dating parlance, 'fat' is usually described as 'average build'

[Alan Medic]

I'm fairly sure in Viz fat is fat.

[LadyDeliah]

He'd be in with a better chance though.