Theory - Missing Cats

[UncleBen]

There are so many missing cats in ED, but deaths caused by cars can't account for all of them as not enough remains seem to be found. Is there another explanation? A few years ago I was walking down Melbourne Grove at about 4am when I saw a man with 2 pitbull terriers off lead. The 2 dogs were systematically running in and out of front gardens looking for something. They appeared trained to do this and were very keen on it. Although I didn't see it happen I think that the owner had trained the dogs to find cats.

[????]

Presumably they had ether pads, gaffer tapes and bin bags to get the cats away with no noise, no struggle, and no mess

[woodrot]

for every 100 cat owners, there are only 90 actual cats- whether they be locked on sheds, eaten by devil dogs,mashed by cars or have just fucked off 3 streets away to someone elses gaff who serves a better quality of precpacked tuna based food. What we see on every tree trunk on delightful SE22 is the result of this mathematical paradox.

innit

[mynamehere]

All your missing cats are in my back garden where they sleep on my chairs and in my flower beds which they also use as a litter tray. I don't have cats. Your cats stalk and kill my frogs and other wild life. Your cats are with me all day and all night. I guess I can say you don't have to worry about them but I do wonder why you have cats that live exclusively with me. If my children lived exclusively with you? Ate in your house, used your facilities to wash and eat and perform other hygienic activities? So don't worry about your cats, for whatever reason you decided you needed cats but then didn't keep them and clean them and feed them on your property, your cats live 24/7 in my back garden.

[Dopamine1979]

What's your address? I've got two cats to deliver to you. Free of charge.

[woodrot]

if my name doest want them just bang em in the post in a jiffy bag to :Woodrot Cat Sanctuary and cosmetics testing centre for felines, Woodrot mansions & undergound testing complex, SE22.

make sure they are properly sealed,as the mischevious little kitties can claw their way outsometimes.maybe you should lightly stun them with a ball pein hammer just so they dont get distressed as you cram them into the post box slot.

[UncleBen]

Truth is stranger than fiction. Have never known so many cats to have gone missing. Has to be something more to it . . .

[uncleglen]

Myname theyactually alternate between your garden and mine. They are in mine first thing in the morning until I chase them away and then they turn up in yours. The stench for the last 2 weeks has been dreadful- need to replenish the Jeyes fluid forthwith (B and Q is cheapest and they do a large one)

[woodrot]

I have just reported the 2 posts above for seditious anti cat sentiment. This is ED. We love cats. cats can do no wrong. never trust a person who doesnt like cats thats what I say.

[Burbage]

woodrot Wrote:

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> I have just reported the 2 posts above for

> seditious anti cat sentiment. This is ED. We love

> cats. cats can do no wrong. never trust a person

> who doesnt like cats thats what I say.

You shouldn't trust a person who doesn't publish their dissertation, either. Especially if they use the results to justify both vigilantist censorship and opinionated flim-flam.