uplands

[woodie]

when people are rude to you in places of public service, they oughta be a bit more aware of the way the world has changed. Ie a vast amount of people could read a post like this.

I used to love uplands. Our dads club would go in there every wednesday armed with brats.We'd get a good deal on food, theyd even try to extract the ciggie smoke. Staff were really friendly. we tipped in return.

today. coupla years later I went in with 2 guys and their kids and my 3 year old. My one, a girl likes to use the toilet by herself because she can do it now. So she goes to the ladies. Unfortunately sometimes she cant get out. So i have to go hold a door or whatever. She was in there ages so I had to rescue.

Barmaid who served us (indeed put food in front of the kids) says loudly to me "Stay out of the Ladies".

I looked her said "WHat"? She repeated. (empowered probably by all her beefy mates sitting by her). "stay out of the ladies.". Im a perv? I cant see the sign? I get my kiks? wtf was she thinking?

I was watching that loo door constantly while my kid was in there so I knew if someone else was in there. Its normal. Little girls in the gents doesnt work Im afraid.Im a pro, ive done 6 years of dadding so I know. A lot of men give you the viibes when you do that. not joking. If there are ladies in the ladies, you ask a lady to help your kid if stuck. simple.

Upside to uplands is maybe this could be the kid free pub some of you peeps desire. Except, they have a kids menu.

Chef btw, is very friendly happy helpful geezer so I feel bad for him actually, as I slag this joint.

[bignumber5]

sounds difficult, and i can understand why you feel pretty turned out by the whole episode.

i don't have kids so don't have a recent frame of reference, but when i was a wee one (poor pun, i confess) i went thru a similar independent stage, so i went in the gents if i was with my dad and into the ladies if i was with my mum, as my folks explained that grown-ups could only go in the right one but little boys were allowed in the other one in order to stay with a parent. This might be a path-of-least-resistance to avoiding repeats of your uplands experience.

[KalamityKel]

I would have "politely" suggested that the barmaid popped in to the loo to check that my daughter was ok and pointed out the difficulties a small child has with silly doors such as theirs.

And then thanked her kindly for showing such a concern for a young child :))

[DaveR]

Woodie, I agree entirely with your views as to the behaviour of the waitress, but I'm a bit surprised that you have had problems from other men whilst taking your daughter in the gents - what happened?

I'm interested because I take my 4 year old daughter in gent's toilets often (she can go by herself but, as you say, often the doors are a problem) and I've never had the slightest problem - or maybe I've just never noticed other blokes looking unhappy!

[woodie]

its not a big deal, some guys dont like kids around in pubs.

[Cassius]

Surely it's not so much men not liking kids in pubs but men not wanting small girls around whilst they relive themselves.

[bignumber5]

...and that's why there's always a cubicle in the gents - no bloke really waits til he gets to the pub for a dump, does he?!

[Wino]

He does if he is having his bathroom fitted.

What happy memories of 2 weeks one summer a few years back..........not.

Funnily enough it was the Uplands that was my designated "home from home."

[RosieH]

Woodie, sorry to be obtuse here, but are you saying that the bar maid understood the reason you were going into the ladies and still told you off. From your post (and the questions you suggest may have been going through her mind) it comes across that she didn't know.

Given that, couldn't you have told her in advance, or indeed asked for her help? As a non-parent, i have to say that my first thought on seeing a bloke going into the ladies toilet would not be, oh he must be looking for his daughter. I might (and probably would) think any of the thoughts that you attribute to her.

What happened when you explained? I'm not saying you're at fault here, but i don't really think she is either. I just think next time you need to go into the ladies, letting someone know is going to avoid similar misunderstandings.

[woodie]

Hi Rosie, the pub was very empty. just us in there and a about 3 guys at the bar by the loo door. She was chatting with them and would have seen us all at some point escorting kids to the loos right behind them. There were 2 ladies at a table outside both of whom I knew where at the table out there. I stood at the ladies loo door holding it open calling my daughter. Doing the 'Im not going in thing,unless i have to, being cautious.'. But daughter didnt answer and was hiding behind the cubicle door. I was in there a tiny amount of time, as when i saw she was being playful, I just said hurry up! and backstepped out the door in to the pub. To be honest we often had to do that with my other kid. She'd get in a kerfuffle in there sometimes and we'd have to do the calling from the slightly opened door or occaisionally going in to rescue. Always checking nobody is going to be disturbed. The other side to the coin is a lady walking over with your child from the loos asking 'is this your daughter? she was stuck!" because you didnt keep an eye out, or ou knew there occupants already and couldnt get in. Ive had to ask people if they wouldnt mind going in and checking. Anyway, kids + pubs, has to be done sometimes. Its all simple for me. Just not going there again. shame. it was good for us once.

[Loz]

There was no need to try and embarrass you publicly by shouting out at you. Full stop.

I think you should write to the Uplands, pointing out the barmaid's rudeness and lack of any customer service qualities whatsoever. Ask what is the pub's policy towards fathers. And, of course, request a grovelling apology from both the management and the barmaid.

Finally, point out that any reply (or lack of) will be published on this forum.

[RosieH]

I think that's a bit strong. After all, Woodie knows he's not a perv peeking under cubicle doors, but does the barmaid?

Woodie, did she apologise when you explained what you were doing? You didn't say what her response was when you put her straight. I'm sure you must have done rather than just come on here to slag them off.

She may have seen all you dads going to the toilets with your little ones, but did it necessarily register? Other people aren't always as aware of us as we might like to think.

Really do think this is poor communication on both sides and no cause for a public hanging.

[Loz]

I disagree - had she wandered over and quietly asked what the problem was then this wouldn't be an issue. Read Woodie's post again - the barmaid was intentionally rude. Woodie deserves an apology and management deserve a place to explain her actions. I'll be steering clear of the Uplands until they do.

[woodie]

no she didnt apologise,apparently i hear she did however run out after one of the guys and give him a baby bottle he'd left on the table. 1 point back! I wouldnt be ass'd to write to them and so on, too much to do but thanks for support. I was cheesed at the time.

[pablogrande]

Looks like the Uplands is the place to start drinking if you want to avaoid hysterical nutters then

[Louisa]

In a pub environment barmaid's or barstaff in general do tend to shout across the bar, that is the nature of a pub experience in my book. I blame woodie here entirely, you should have asked your daughter to go into the gents toilet and use a cubicle, or gone over to the bar staff and put them straight on the fact your daughter wants to use the loo by herself and would it be possible for her or you to go in with her. It's so simple, but you chose not only to walk into the ladies toilet, but you also made the decision to not inform members of staff about what you were doing. If I had been working at that time I would have had the same reaction. Even after she called out to you, did you not make clear what you were doing? Did you just apologise? Did you walk out or complain? All seems a little sus to me, why do you need to tell us on here and not the manager? oh well.

Louisa.

[SeanMacGabhann]

Can I be on woodie's side but sort of agree with Louisa??

[woodie]

Ok, point taken, usually all this toilet and kids in the pub stuff works smoothly. I'll shaddap now about it and you will avoid me by drinking in uplands.hehe.

[SeanMacGabhann]

or.... come along to The Vale tonight and we can buy you a pint there

[Asset]

you should have asked your daughter to go into the gents toilet and use a cubicle,

I wouldn't let a small girl go into a gents' toilet in a pub alone.

[Cassius]

If she could go to the gents alone then surely she could have gone to the ladies alone.

[Asset]

I think she did go alone, that's the problem - she was taking a while coming out and Woodie stuck his head in to make sure she was ok.

[Loz]

Looks like the Uplands is the place to start drinking if you want to avaoid hysterical nutters then

Or at the very least, have them confined to behind the bar.

or.... come along to The Vale tonight and we can buy you a pint there

Eh?? What ever happened to NTV??

[Cassius]

Every day in a little way I am more and more relieved I don't have children! Not dissing parents or kids but goodness life is complicated enough..........

[SeanMacGabhann]

Loz - it;s a good question - I think having tried the other suitable pubs in the area for the monthly forum drinks (whaddya mean you don't know about them - have a look in the Lounge - it's the first post at the top) there was an opportunity for the Vale to be relieved of the NTV tag. I think a new manager posted some good things on the forum and came across well -but we'll see how tonight goes eh?

Coming?