what age did you start a routine?

[LauraHW]

I'd just be interested in hearing peoples' experiences on when they started to introduce a bedtime / napping routine for their babies. Being a control freak sort of person I'd like to have some sort of routine for my 7 week old but am not sure whether its too early for that sort of thing. Not very good at just going with the flow!

[Salsie]

I started introducing a bedtime routine and time quite early on, about 7/8 weeks. My daughter is now 8 months and a very good at going to bed with no fuss and a good sleeper. I didn't worry too much about nap times when she was small. I just let her sleep whenever. However I do go by a rough 2 hour routine whereby I try and put my LO down for a nap if she hasn't had one. Ive found this stops her getting over tired and then difficult to put down.

Another friend did Gina Ford from day one so her little boy was in a set routine straight away!

[Bellenden Belle]

I'd recommend having a read of the Baby Whisperer. It doesn't give you times but it does give you an idea of establishing a routine. In other words - Eat, Awake, Sleep (and then adds a Y for You on the end for marketing purposes!).

I followed that mantra almost from the very beginning - it was a useful pattern and stopped me doing things like feeding the baby to sleep - but it meant I didn't get hung up on timings.

I introduced timings (from the book Baby Secrets) at around 12 weeks.

[Saffron]

We did the E.A.S.Y. routine for Little Saff from around 4 months, but I still breastfed my daughter to sleep. She was never a great sleeper and went through massive growth spurts lasting for weeks. We also coslept a lot which helped. For us it was more like Eat, Awake (eat again), Sleep (sleep eat), You-time (cosleep... or laundry).

In the evening we did bath, baby massage/songs, bed, even from a few weeks old. It helped us put a metaphorical full-stop at the end of the day, even though I was often up at night several times.

You can introduce a routine at any age, no? A routine is just a guideline in your day (not the same thing as a schedule). If you go with a very rigid schedule too early, you may end up just constantly changing it as your baby makes developmental leaps. If you have a routine, you can be more flexible.

[Pickle]

Around 8 weeks for us - about the time they start being awake more during the day.

[oimissus]

about 4 months - this is when I believe they start resisting sleep, wanting to stay awake and see what's going on. I used routines suggested in Your Baby Week by Week.

[midivydale]

We had a terrible time with our reflux baby so routines were not an option at the tiny stage for us. Having said that I started with a bed time "routine" pretty much straight away. Just gentle things o help baby differentiate between night and day. So bath, massage, dim lights,story etc.

I found it soothing and it helped me feel better in all the chaos!

[uptime]

I'm a control freak too and, a bit like midivydale, found that starting a routine helped me feel better able to cope with the general chaos a newborn brings. I don't think 7 weeks is too early to start. I also used baby whisperer but had a slightly more rigid version with a 3 hour cycle: 1 hour Eat, 1 hour Awake/Activity, 1 hour Sleep. This also meant religiously getting up at 7am so I could do the 3 hour cycles and have bedtime at 7pm. And yes I did the whole bedtime routine thing as well: bath, massage, book, bed (gradually slipping in In the Night Garden when my baby was old enough). My husband jokes that I found Gina Ford a bit too laissez faire but I never actually read any of her books. Good luck!

[canela]

agree with saffron. introduce a routine that works for you but don?t get too caught up sticking to it or not as little babies change a lot as they development and what works at 2 months isn?t always right for 6. months. I used to find it helpful to think of having a rhythm to the day rather than a strict routine.

[devsdev]

We introduced a "routine end" to the day very early on - massage, bath, eat, bedtime. Even if I knew I'd be up a few times and was pretty overwhelmed for at least 5-6 weeks with massive feeding difficulties etc. it provided a point of reference for the day. We also tried to differentiate clearly between daytime (sunshine, bright lights, noisy) and nightime (no lights unless necessary, keeping baby in darkened room rather than bringing down to living area even when feeding before adult bedtime).

I then discovered EASY and it was a very useful guide for the day (I never woke LO up from naps - let sleeping babies sleep!). However, as people have said, definitely avoid getting wedded to the routine and expected timings - I found myself getting really stressed at times and then had to step back and remind myself that my LO has no idea about the routine! The one thing I'm generally strict about is getting her to bed at roughly the same time every evening unless there's a very special reason not to do that.

Finally - as some have mentioned already - really paying attention to sleep cues. Even if according to the routine it wasn't "bed/naptime" if she was yawning, rubbing eyes, getting spaced out then I put her to bed.

Enjoy the moments - the cliches are true, it goes by so fast!

[ratty]

4 weeks for first born

[srisky]

Sorry, I haven't read all the posts, but here's my 2p worth...

...babies tend to nap 1-1.5h hours from when they last woke, so look out for very early signs of tiredness around this time and put them straight for a nap;

...develop a sleep time routine, e.g sing the same nursery rhyme before you put them down. Eventually, they'll learn the association. You can do this from day 1. You can use a more elaborate one for bedtime proper e.g. bath, massage, feed, nursery rhyme. In my personal experience, it was only around 3 months that a defined bedtime time developed.

Good luck!

[Loz334]

I wasn't too worried about a routine to begin with and just went with the flow. We had a hard time getting the little one to sleep in her cot for the first few months and when she napped in the day, it would only work by putting her in the baby bjorn and transferring her to her bouncer chair.Or I had to feed her to sleep.

She's 4 months old now and in the last few weeks things have started to fall into place. I recognise quickly when she's tired and she goes in her cot... I did have to sit next to it and shoosh quite a bit to start with.

Her bedtime routine is a bath, feed I'm the bedroom with the tunes from the monitor playing. Seems to be working but I know things can easily change!

Saying all that, I finally had a night out for dinner last night with a friend and got back to find buba hadn't had a bath, wouldn't feed and was sleeping on my other half in front of the tv at 11pm. I had to stop myself saying 'you've ruined the routine!!'

[alachlan]

Our experience was never too soon. Did a rough routine from about 2 weeks old where mini Mac was bathed (every other night), quiet time, just whispered chat while she was feeding, fed and put into Moses basket but stayed with us in the lounge with a sheet over the Moses basket to block out light from TV. Then at about 6 weeks started doing same and putting her our room on her own (with monitor obv) from about 7. She quickly dropped 11pm feed so I was only doing around 2am feed then awake at around 7. She slept through from about 12 weeks (7 to 7).always fed her in her room overnight not in bed so as not to wake daddy. Daytime naps not so strict but made sure she had around 2/3 hours a day so not overtired.

[hpsaucey]

Just flagging up these useful pages from the NHS which include tips for soothing/relaxing babies at bedtime. Worth noting that NHS and others - UNICEF etc recommend that to minimise the risk of SIDS the safest place for a baby to sleep is in the same room as you for the first six months... Opinions vary on whether this should be a cot/moses basket etc. adjacent to your bed ideally and over the risks/benefits of co-sleeping. Obviously there are lots of factors involved here with SIDS but... Anyway the info's here: http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/getting-baby-to-sleep.aspx#close

H

[attentionseeker1]

Those who have used EASY- what sort of activity did you have for the A when your baby was very young? Did you not have issues with baby falling asleep at the breast straight after feeding?

[Bellenden Belle]

Activity is probably a little too, erm, active a word at that age. Our one spent a little bit of time in a rocking chair, and a little bit lying under a rainforest gym. Or just being cuddled and adored by visitors. His absolute all time favourite activity was lying on our bed looking at the tree outside our house or - at about six weeks when there was a heat wave in April - lying under a tree. One thing the book emphasises and I personally found a useful tip is dont over stimulate them - the world around them is ample.

If he was awake for about twenty mins/ half an hour (including a nappy change) I'd be happy and then he would be tired enough to drift off in his Moses basket/ pram. We used all his sleep cues at that stage - swaddling, white noise, dummy, shush/ patting.

I copied a friend and would gently stroke his cheek to wake him if he looked drowsy during a feed. People often recommend that for the early days just so they actually have sufficient milk.

[Norfolkvillas]

I found these high contrast images a godsend for engaging my babies when they were very very little - I printed them out and put them up around the playmat and my son in particular could spend quite a bit of time staring at them. They were the very first thing that got more than momentary attention in the early weeks: http://baby.zorger.com/baby.zorger.com.newborn.pdf

A little later, wandering about the house together and looking at ourselves in all of the mirrors in various rooms / bathrooms would pass a cheery 20 mins towards the end of the day.

Mine were both midwinter babies, but friends with summer babies have also had great success with baby on a towel or similar in a shady spot in the garden with different coloured floaty scarves pinned on a washing line above them. In fact, that sounds lovely, newborn or not!

[willow]

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[LauraHW]

Thanks for the responses all. I've been trying (unsuccessfully) to follow baby whisperer. I mean we can mostly do EASY but she will only sleep for 30 mins at a time unless I carry her round in sling - not fun in heat.. Even if I lie down with her she will wake after 30 mins and won't go back to sleep. Plus every single night without fail she ends up in our bed as I fall asleep when feeding and can't muster the energy to put back. I don't massively want to co sleep but seem to be doing it anyway! Think I'm becoming slightly obsessed by it all. Is it too early in the day to have a G&T??

[Saffron]

Ah, that's often referred to as 'one cycle sleep syndrome', and sleep gurus will try to tell you all kinds of crazy reasons why it's bad, then sell you lots of books about how to fix it. As near as I can tell from friends whose babies did this at the same age, it's pretty normal, and they outgrow it. But try googling it and see what other parents are doing to cope. Might give you some ideas on how to get through it?

Also, we started Baby Sensory classes around this age. My daughter used to sleep really well after them. If you can time the class around her naps, then you might get a slightly longer nap afterwards?

(Never too early for a GnT! xx)

[bumpy]

Hi LauraHW - yep my boy, now 3, would only sleep for 30 minute cycles which of course meant he was grizzly and tired and we were tetchy and beside ourselves, then one day he slept for a 3 hour nap - who knows why as we'd already tried most things which had made no difference! I'm with Saffron, it was a stage that he grew out of. Good luck and keep strong, it does get better / easier! :)

[hpsaucey]

The Fourth Trimester theory is quite a nice way of thinking about the early months after birth comparing their environment before and after birth - see attached image. See here: http://babycalm.wordpress.com/2012/07/06/the-fourth-trimester-aka-why-your-newborn-is-only-happy-in-your-arms-30/

[Piaf]

Hi... My daughter (2nd child) has just turned three months and until a few days ago would only sleep in the day for 25-30 mins and only in buggy or on me or on daybed. When not asleep she screamed if in the buggy or car or on a mat etc. Made doing anything a nightmare especially having a three yr old to get to nursery etc too.

she has some reflux which accounts for part of it (worth propping up bed etc in any event) but also I think it is a phase which a lot of babies go through. Not easy as they are knackered as a result. Fingers crossed but for the last few days she has taken to doing one big sleep lunchtimeish in addition to cat naps (still in the buggy and you generally have to be out) and can 'cope' better With being in the buggy awake for short periods. Who knows if it will continue but hoping it does and I do think as their tummy matures and they hit the 12 week stage babies seem to settle a bit more so hang in there! It does make the EASY routine tricky though so I just try and adopt the vague idea of it ie generally feed then activity before sleep but it often goes to pot and I am more relaxed this time round about that (or more knackered?!)

Now, if we can just master sleeping through the night...! My older daughter slept through at eleven weeks but screamed all evening with reflux etc so worth remembering all babies are different and they all get there in their own way. Use a routine to keep you sane if it helps but don't beat yourself up when it goes wrong (I sobbed first time round reading the baby whisperer holding a screaming non Angel baby!)

[canela]

yeah - i gave up when my lovely little boy was classified as a "grumpy baby". I know it worked for some friends but that book drove me nearly insane trying to do it for the first 3 weeks. in the end hubby threw it in the bin and we were all a lot happier!

there are lots of different ways of caring for a baby so if it?s not working it might not be the approach for you?.