"wow, she's pretty for a black girl"

[citizenED]

regarding the "get over it" comment from NatashaD. Earlier in the thread, during a response to James, Muffintop stated that "you won't hear me mentioning this 2 years down the line!" pretty much showing that she is a well-balanced person who will indeed get over it. Though not perhaps just at this point when the comment still rankles.

[Keef]

HeidiHi Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I like how the higher powers that be decided that it is politically incorrect to be called mixed race! My skin, my mixture and I like the term 'Mixed Race'. I don't actually find it comfortable to say 'Dual Heritage'

And as you've already said, you're part Jamaican, Dutch, Greek and English, so the term DUAL heritage is actually completely incorrect.

[clive3300]

VeryBerryCherry Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> But above and beyond all

> of that we are all different people, with

> indiviudal thoughts, beliefs, styles, attitudes

> etc... Why pigeon-hole people when you can invest

> a little more time getting to know them and see

> how interesting and different people's live are.

Of course you are right, and any thinking person should reject prejuidice as immoral and stupid. Unfortunately the reality is most people have quite a number of prejudices against all sorts of things and people. Education goes some of the way, but will never eliminate this very human failing.

However groups with particular prejuidices against them by the wider population (mostly attitude and behaviour) that rankle could often make more active effort to defuse them. My moment of deciding to make an effort was at the end of a job interview (in London) where 2 company directors actually laughingly sang a mildly rude song to me about my general background and how its not nice. Apparently it is/was a real song.

Rather than freak out I decided there might be a grain of truth and have thereafter made a little extra effort to counteract the stereotype.

Clearly the comment in the original topic of this thread is just abhorent and no action should be considered!

[Jeremy]

Just to play the devil's advocate... if someone found people of a certain race to be particularly attractive, would that be considered racist?

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

Jeremy Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Just to play the devil's advocate... if someone

> found people of a certain race to be particularly

> attractive, would that be considered racist?

I wouldn't think so since my boyfriend loves dark girls, he has dated various girls from different cultures but he said he does find mixed girls like myself very appealing, and I am not complaining!:)

[Ant]

Jeremy Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Just to play the devil's advocate... if someone

> found people of a certain race to be particularly

> attractive, would that be considered racist?

I think the difference here is that you can't control who you find attractive.

[VeryBerryCherry]

Ant Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Jeremy Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Just to play the devil's advocate... if someone

> > found people of a certain race to be

> particularly

> > attractive, would that be considered racist?

>

>

> I think the difference here is that you can't

> control who you find attractive.

Yeah I agree, some people prefer blondes, slim, large, tall, short etc... and I think many have a general "type" that they find attractive.

However, I do find it odd when, for example, a girl wants to date a brown boy solely because they want a particular skin-coloured baby! And I am surprised at how frequently I have heard this said.

Trust me, you don't want to deal with afro hair unless you really have to! >:D<

[lozzyloz]

for example, a girl wants to date a brown boy solely because they want a particular skin-coloured baby!

Perhaps it's a subconscious survival of the species thing. Mix up those genes. IMO mixed race people are mostly, healthier, more symmetrical and fitter unlike say, the Royal Family.

[Jeremy]

OK, so if it's not racist to find a certain "type" particularly attractive, is it racist to find a certain "type" generally unattractive?

The main problem was that the guy said it out loud, clearly within earshot. I think that makes him rude and sexist, I don't think it necessarily makes him a racist.

[VeryBerryCherry]

Jeremy Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> OK, so if it's not racist to find a certain "type"

> particularly attractive, is it racist to find a

> certain "type" generally unattractive?

>

> The main problem was that the guy said it out

> loud, clearly within earshot. I think that makes

> him rude and sexist, I don't think it necessarily

> makes him a racist.

Yeah I see you have a point. Where is that fine line between personal taste and racism.

I have to say I still think it was a racist comment. I think it's different to say, "she's not my type, but she's attractive" compared to "I think all black women are unnattractive, but she's pretty considering she's black" (to ruthlessly paraphrase). What underlines this in not a personal preference on what's attractive (it does playa part), but a g

[VeryBerryCherry]

Jeremy Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> OK, so if it's not racist to find a certain "type"

> particularly attractive, is it racist to find a

> certain "type" generally unattractive?

>

> The main problem was that the guy said it out

> loud, clearly within earshot. I think that makes

> him rude and sexist, I don't think it necessarily

> makes him a racist.

Yeah I see you have a point. Where is that fine line between personal taste and racism.

I have to say I still think it was a racist comment. I think it's different to say, "she's not my type, but she's attractive" compared to "I think all black women are unnattractive, but she's pretty considering she's black" (to ruthlessly paraphrase). What underlines this in not a personal preference on what's attractive (yes, it does play a part), but a general derrogatory remark based on colour.

[VeryBerryCherry]

Oh damn!

Sorry guyz

[SeanMacGabhann]

Hand on heart I can say I do not have a type

There isn't a single class, race or size that I haven't found someone attractive from.

The irish have never liked me however....

[Jeremy]

You're right, it is a fine line... and I don't really understand how someone could generally consider a whole race of people to be unattractive. But looking at it objectively, one man saying "black girls are ugly" is no more or less discriminatory than another saying "black girls are hot". To say such things in public is obviosuly sexist and offensive, but I don't have a massive problem with people holding these views privately.

I am much more bothered by those who dwell on perceived differences of non-physical characteristics.

[Moos]

clive3300 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Of course you are right, and any thinking person

> should reject prejuidice as immoral and stupid.

> Unfortunately the reality is most people have

> quite a number of prejudices against all sorts of

> things and people. Education goes some of the way,

> but will never eliminate this very human failing.

>

> However groups with particular prejuidices against

> them by the wider population (mostly attitude and

> behaviour) that rankle could often make more

> active effort to defuse them. My moment of

> deciding to make an effort was at the end of a job

> interview (in London) where 2 company directors

> actually laughingly sang a mildly rude song to me

> about my general background and how its not nice.

> Apparently it is/was a real song.

>

> Rather than freak out I decided there might be a

> grain of truth and have thereafter made a little

> extra effort to counteract the stereotype.

>

> Clearly the comment in the original topic of this

> thread is just abhorent and no action should be

> considered!

Clive makes a good point. I'd add though, that some stereotypes which have proved more damaging than others, and therefore are rightly more taboo. I've had my share of blonde jokes, but I can't say I think they've ever damaged my career prospects or made me more liable to arrest. I'm not trying to create a 'hierarchy of prejudice' (that's being discussed elsewhere, erk) but it's easier to laugh off other people's prejudice if you know it'll never really hurt you.

[Ant]

It's one thing to say 'all black girls are sexy' and another to say 'that black girl is sexy'. The first lumps them all together and is based on their colour; the second doesn't and isn't. Thus the word black becomes redundant in the second sentence.

If you tend to prefer white girls but have the good fortune to encounter a black girl who you think is lovely then all well and good. If you think all black girls are rough because they're black girls, but reckon you've spotted one who might just pass muster, is another matter and just goes to show that you probably ought to get out more.

Just before posting this I read back and realised I'm just repeating the same point as everyone else. D'oh. Still, seeing as I've spent all this time typing it out... *hits post message*

[mockney piers]

I dunno, tough one. I clearly do have some types more than I have others. For instance Bjork makes me go weak at the knees (yeah, I'm weird I know) but claudia Schiffer leaves me absolutely cold. But then I'm marrying a blonde (actually she's just a redhead in denial, but that's a whole 'nother story).

On the whole black girls don't really make my heart skip a beat in that same vein that a blonde won't. That's not to say I don't see plenty of black girls who make me thing 'crikey o'reilly'.

I'm not nearly crass enough to express it in the same way that our city oik did, but my thought process might not be so far removed.

Does that make me racist for thinking that, I don't think so.

Incidentally mixed black and white seems to be a great meeting of genes and imho gives rise to a weirdly high proportion of beautiful people.

[Brendan]

This whole problem can be summed up in one simple personal philosophy:

Don?t be a dick.

If someone else insists on being a dick, smack them in the head.

[mockney piers]

*reads Ant's addendum and thinks, hmm ditto*

[Jah Lush]

To just slightly paraphrase Marcus Garvey here: "The colour of a person's skin should be of no more significance than the colour of their eyes."

And that is exactly how I feel on this matter. If you find someone attractive that's it. I love girls and it don't matter what colour or creed they are or what religion or where they are from. If you find someone attractive that's it.

[Jeremy]

mockney piers Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I'm not nearly crass enough to express it in the

> same way that our city oik did, but my thought

> process might not be so far removed.

> Does that make me racist for thinking that, I

> don't think so.

Agreed... personal "preferences" aside...

[James]

Following on from what Mockney said, has anyone noticed how mixed-race* kids never seem to be ugly - yet most of the royal family are horse-faced? Quite a good argument for mixing the genes up a bit I reckon.

*or 'dual heritage' or whatever we're supposed to say

[Jah Lush]

The Royal Family are a bunch inbreds James and are a rather toothy and horse-faced lot aren't they. Perhaps they are all related to a horse.

[mockney piers]

Via Catherine the Great? (allegedly)

[Keef]

Good, and honest points being made here. At the end of the day, if someone said I generally don't find black girls attractive, that is not racist. They may also say I don't fancy brunettes either, but I love Asian girls... It's just about what one person finds pleasing on the eye I guess.

The original train comment could be called racist, because effectively he/they were suggesting that as a race, black girls are not pretty, and the "for a black girl" bit suggests that a half decent white girl would still be a better choice. I do agree with Jeremy however that it was more rude and sexist than anything else. You just wonder why they would think it was acceptable to make that kind of comment on a train.

I don't really believe in "types". I used to think my type was definitely brunette, and have married a blue eyed blond, via various hair and skin shades along the way to finding her. I have fancied them all for one reason or another.

One could argue that at the end of the day, it's just because we smelled right to each other!