Question to DM

[Asset]

Dulwich dad has posted on here recently, can't remember which thread

[batdog]

Dear D-Mum,

I surfed onto your blog today after ages and I have to say that even though you are the queen of cool and supersexy, your Nanny is becoming more and more the main character of your online "adventure".

Please tell me that I am wrong !? and you are still the "queen" of your own blog.

Are you not jealous of her ?

She is becoming every day more popular and "fanciable" !!! :))

[dulwichmum]

Oh dear Batdog, what am I to do?

I have been feeding Ana a diet of carbohydrates and doughnuts, dispensed with her contact lenses ensuring that she would be forced to wear her enormous glasses, paid for her to have braces on her teeth (in the manner of ugly Betty) and even bought her some functional looking Crocs shoes, yet still my children (and my husband... sniff) adore her, and she STILL looks great on the trampoline!

It seems that all is not well in my super swish home this morning, and once again - you dear heart have noticed almost as soon as I have!

Grrrr.

[batdog]

Hey D-Mum,

Get rid of her at once when your family is not at home, then you tell the kidz that she had to leave for urgent family matters and 2 days later you replace her with an ugly one.... simple ?! >:D<

[Michael Palaeologus]

I'll take her of your hands DM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dulwichmum]

Thanks boys!

Great thinking Batdog.

I shall send her straight over Michael. Just leave the door of your home open this afternoon. I will be in rather a hurry.

[Michael Palaeologus]

Umm - I am in the Cotswolds - buy her a ticket to Chippenham and I will collect.

[dulwichmum]

Curses, that is too far! They will notice I am gone. When will you return?

[Michael Palaeologus]

This vey afternoon. I have a pile of washing - would Ana oblige?

[dulwichmum]

Michael darling,

I thought you were planning to make an honest woman of her - to take her to church and make vows?

I shall book her flight home to Lithuania, the girl has been taken advantage of enough...

Shame on you!

[Michael Palaeologus]

B*GGER!! I have a HUGE pile of ironing to do as well.

[dulwichmum]

Mr Papadopalopagus,

You should wash your own smalls and do your own ironing. How very dare you?

Do you seriously expect your wife to do your laundry? You are behaving like a barbarian. Why do you think God invented help?GET YOUR OWN! You have defiled mine! (or she is on a flight home to Lithuania at the weekend with your sproglet in utero)

[Michael Palaeologus]

I have washed my smalls (this being a relative term - my smalls are the size of an aircraft carrier's battle ensign).

You are throwing your help out on the streets of Lithuania - I was merely offering her a roof to sleep under and bed to sleep in - and something to do to stop her getting bored.

I wont make her bounce on a trampoline for the entertainment of family, friends and neighbours. I suspect that you charged an entrance fee.

See Everybody! - the distateful underbelly of Dulwich society - I wouldnt be surprised if this didnt get picked up by the South London Press - if its a slow shooting week.

[dulwichmum]

Shame on you! And it is you all along who got her in the family way - you beast!!!

[Michael Palaeologus]

How do you know it was me?! The child hasnt been born yet - god knows if it will survive the experience as you have deported Ana to Lithuania whilst the child is still in residence. They still use swaddling in those parts of the world.

SOUTH LONDON PRESS - where are you when we need you!!

This and small children being left outside Tescos - I MAY MOVE TO SYDENHAM YOU KNOW!!

[batdog]

Hi D-mum,

What's going on with this cyber-war that seems to be taking place between you and some forumites ?

I hope you're not in trouble.... (tu)

[dulwichmum]

Oh dear Sweet Batdog,

What war? Where?

DM

[batdog]

Dear D-Mum,

Sometimes I have the impression that some people on this forum do not like you because you wear expensive fashion labels, drive an expensive 4 X 4 and have a Nanny.

Maybe I am wrong ? !!

Are you going to the Irish festival the 30th June at peckham rye park ? :))

[dulwichmum]

Dear Mr Batdog,

It really is dreadful isn't it? Perhaps that is too simplistic though - I am quite the selfish minx and rather abusive of my au pair as well. I just can't seem to help myself.;-)

I love my mother though, and no doubt I shall take her to the Irish Festival so that she can meet up with her Daniel O'Donnell loving chums, buy some Kimberley biscuits and Lyons tea.

How did you know about my Irish connection you sweet little dog?

[batdog]

Dear D-Mum,

Please do not change, the way you're now. It is the main reason why I like you...

Regarding your Irish connection I am sure you mentioned plenty of times in the past on this same forum and every forumite is aware of it.....

And please do NOT stop "abusing" your nanny... >:D<

[dulwichmum]

Oh Batdog darling,

Where do you get to when you are not here with me?

[batdog]

Dear D-Mum,

You know that I ususally am in my caribbean retreat when not in London but this time I was away in Montenegro visiting friends under the sunshine.

I won't ask you about the Irish festival because I've been told the weather wasn't the best BUT you never told me how was Ascot this year ?

Didi you enjoy it as susal and I also imagine you had a very sexy outfit...appropriate to your body forms ? >:D<

[dulwichmum]

Darling lovely Mr Batdog,

I had a wonderful time at Ascot, we traveled there by helicopter on the last day (Saturday) and it collected us from the Grounds of Dulwich College. I felt like a Bond Girl. I wish you had been with me in my handbag!

[batdog]

Dear D-Mum,

I wish it too...!!!

Some forum users expressed surpise in the recent increase of chopper-activity above Dulwich, now they know why :))

[Michael Palaeologus]

Less of this chopper related theme. People will talk..