Have you considered fostering?

[chloe11]

Hi All

I am running a campaign alongside local government to promote fostering and I would really like to get your views on fostering if you would be willing to share them.

Particularly around certain aspects of fostering that would hold you back or put you off. Have you ever started the process and pulled out along the way? Have you had any good/bad experiences with fostering?

Any views or comments would be much appreciated.

Thank you

[ClareC]

As far as I am aware its a "job" as in you have to give up your day job.

Although it's something I would consider and think is worthwhile (my Aunt and Uncle fostered once my cousins left home), it's not something I would be willing to give up my career for albeit we could provide a child / children with a foster home alongside our own children and still work - I am part time just two days a week mostly from home and my husband has his own business so is also a homeworker.

My friend has recently given up her business to foster, the process took one year which seems a long time.

[canela]

agreed. i think it seems a wonderful thing to do and i would consider it later. but more than a job it seems to be a "calling" or way of life as it is not something you can put down at the end of the day. what stopped us from taking it further is that you kind of need to be settled yourselves first, and our family life is still chaotic, we could move etc etc.

[EmilyPie]

I would have similar reservations to ClareC. Not something for us at the moment anyway as our 2 are so small and we're so knackered. However, although I think it is worthwhile and have thought of it for the future I wouldn't want to have to give up work. I would also be cautious about the possible impact on our children if the kids to be fostered were very demanding, so maybe something for when they've left home/I've retired.

[Pugwash]

You can foster children whilst you are working but are more likely to get the older children.

I used to work as a 'link' between foster parents and social services and the foster parents I can saw it as a vocation and an extension of their parenting skills

[Scribble]

I know people who've fostered and I think it would be an amazing thing to do, but the main thing that would put me off is the impact it might have on my own children (taking my time and emotions at home; the impact of the fostered child themselves on the family; the complications and bureaucracy or it all). One of the people I know actually 'gave back' a child after they'd lived with them for some time because they felt they were too disruptive; I think that's horrible and wouldn't want to commit unless I could definitely promise not to do that - and I don't feel able to at this stage.

I wonder how many people who foster do not have their own children at home and whether that would be better - or not (or perhaps there is no clear answer to that!)??? I also wonder if fostering would be better seen and paid as a sustainable job for the type of people who would be good at it - a lot of unemployed youth workers, Connexions workers, and others from children's services about since the cuts! On the other hand, I get the sense that in e.g. the US it is much more taken on for the money, with detrimental results...?

[alice]

i thought fostering was highly paid - well ?500 - ?700 a weekish - but that its full on

[bornagain]

I wonder how many people who foster do not have their own children at home and whether that would be better - or not (or perhaps there is no clear answer to that!)??? I also wonder if fostering would be better seen and paid as a sustainable job for the type of people who would be good at it - a lot of unemployed youth workers, Connexions workers, and others from children's services about since the cuts!

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I thought fostering was all about parenting and nurturing children from disrupted homes in a family setting? So it seems to me to be more than a just a job and and a very important qualification would be experience of being an effective parent. It is not the same as being a youth worker in a home setting!

As for the effect it has on your own children - I would say that it wouldn't necessarily be negative.

[cactus]

I've toyed with the idea, but perhaps a little later on in life.

What deters me the most, is the lack of long-term therapeutic support for the children involved.

[AllyMcB]

I am definitely open to the idea of Fostering but we simply do not have the space in our house to do so.

Perhaps when our own children leave home it would be possible - if they leave home !

[chloe11]

Thank you very much for your comments. It seems the main concerns are around working and the impact on current family life. To answer a few questions, you can work and foster but it will limit the age range of the young people you will have in your care. If you work, it will need to be flexible so that you have the time to devote to the child in your care. If you have a full-time job you may prefer to choose to be a short break/ respite carer which could be a good introduction to the world of fostering.

Local Authorities pay around ?400 per week per child, more if you are an experienced carer or look after sibling groups. I think it's important to note that although it should never be looked at as a money making scheme, people should be rewarded and put in a comfortable financial position to take on this role especially if they are giving up a job to do so. Some carers see it as career meaning they could utilise the skills they had gained through being a parent to their own children and doing a job at home whilst still being a mum/dad. One carer I know had been a nurse but the long hours meant she was missing out on her children growing up. She wanted a professional career working from home. Others do see it as 'calling', the reasons are all individual.

I wonder whether a campaign that was focused on current Foster Carers could be more beneficial? If you were given examples of Foster Carers and their situations and an insight as to how a fostered child fits around current family living. I know that many foster carers decided to go for it because they knew someone who was already doing it. It doesn't seem so scary then.

Thanks again everybody for your comments and please feel free to keep them coming!

[EmilyE]

I find it difficult to imagine giving a child back to a situation that was presumably less than ideal to begin with. I know that's kind of messed up, because it must be better to provide them with a good patch, but I also don't know how I'd do that.

[EmilyPie]

I think that kind of campaign could be good. It would give me an insight into how it might work and make it feel more real.

[golden boy]

it is really a nice thing to do, for a child and for your soul, but it takes courage to decide to foster a baby

[minder]

It's also not unheard of to foster a child and then to adopt them?

[canela]

I have some more questions:

- one is around CRB checks and safeguarding. My partner is amazing with kids but runs a mile whenever I suggest any child-related work or even voluntary work for him as he is terrified of being accused of inappropriate behaviour. He just finds the idea of a man being responsible for children and young people problematic. How does the system ensure safety for all involved?

- the other is around culture. We are a mixed race bilingual family and have spoken about wanting to support children from a similar background. Is this taken into account when allocating placements?