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Rick O?Shea, an Irish radio DJ on RTE?s 2fm, recently asked his listeners what questions they think should be asked on an Irish citizenship test, and they responded with some amusing answers. O?Shea?s team has since made a poster to convey all the favourite responses.


You are told that someone is "going spare," should you (a) Find him a job (b) Find him a girlfriend © Avoid him

Do your parents ever start conversations with "Do you know who's dead?"

Ming the Merciless is (a) A comic book character (b) A TD and Mayor from Co. Roscommon

What is a holy show? (a) Religious programming (b) Something garish worn without the wearer knowing the impact

Do you live in immortal fear of leaving the immersion on?

Someone says "I like your top." Your response is (a) Thanks (b) Penneys

If a feature on the RTE news reports that an incident took place at tea time what time did the incident occur?

"Story horse!" translates as (a) A child's toy (b) A greeting between friends

"Bleedin rappih" means (a) It's very fast (b) It's very good

If someone was a 'gas man', would they (a) work for the gas company (b) be really funny

You'll get "some land" means (a) you're about to become the owner of some property (b) you're about to be surprised

Do you have an ineradicable belief in the restorative powers of flat 7up?

When you're telling someone a great yarn and they implore you to "Stop," do you (a) stop (b) keep going with gusto

If someone offers to "put you in the pot", should you (a) flee from the cannibals (b) accept their kind offer of dinner

  • 2 weeks later...

http://www.michelinguides.com/


Michelin restaurant guides have issued a cease-and-desist notice to a blogger who has nabbed the URL michelinguides.com and filled it with photoshopped pictures of European football boss and 1984 European Championship top goalscorer Michel Platini.


The blogger bought the domain, retitled it "Michel In Guides" and filled it with images of Michel Platini, the former Juventus footballer and current President of UEFA, wodged onto pictures of guides: girl guides, gardening guides, tour guides and dog training guides.

I have no idea who Joe Grint is, but anyway apparently this was pinched off him according to Facebook. And hey it's about Waitrose.


Pinched off Joe Grint x


UK supermarket chain Waitrose has withdrawn its popular ?essential? range after discovering that the cut-price products had led to a number of poor people shopping there.


The discount brand, launched in 2009 to help Waitrose?s core customer base cope with the recession without having to downgrade one of their Range Rovers, was proving extremely successful. This success appears to have come at a price though, with the unwanted side effect of attracting the working class.


?At first it worked fine, our regular shoppers were delighted with the new range, and common people were still put off by the Waitrose branding? explained marketing director Rupert Thomas, ?but as we advertised more, and made the mistake of including the prices of products in our TV commercials, we began to see some undesirable characters appearing in our aisles, enticed in by the prospect of finding a tin of beans for under ?5, which they previously hadn?t expected from us. One horrid man even came in wearing a Hi-Vis vest looking for a sandwich. It was awful.?


The popularity of the ?essential? range had seen it quickly expand to include affordable versions of many foodstuffs and household items. To make matters worse Waitrose also starting pointing out that many of their prices were the same as those found in Tescos, attracting even more lower class shoppers and alienating many of their existing clientele. ?It was so demeaning finding out that I wasn?t paying any more for my groceries than a common chav? moaned former Waitrose customer Emily Hamilton-Brown. ?I?ve gone back to doing my weekly shop at Fortnum & Mason now, just to make sure I don?t accidentally purchase something that?s buy-one-get-one-free.?


?Hopefully withdrawing the products and stopping the adverts will stop any additional commoners coming in,? continued Mr Thomas, ?but we still have the problem of getting rid of the ones that have already started shopping with us. They?re still turning up, wandering around looking a bit lost and not buying anything. We?re thinking of putting up signs outside pointing out that Lidl down the road has some great deals on, or maybe we?ll just put down some traps baited with chicken nuggets so we can catch them humanely and release them in Asda.?

I SOO want a copy of "No Book For Fools"


[T]he sight of Britain?s young men slouching like dead tramps in a canoe was enough to make a chap want to take a ferula to their sit-upons.



http://nationalofficeofimportance.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/sit-up-straight-1946.html

 

Sue Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I have no idea who Joe Grint is, but anyway

> apparently this was pinched off him according to

> Facebook. And hey it's about Waitrose.

>

> Pinched off Joe Grint x

>

> UK supermarket chain Waitrose has withdrawn its

> popular ?essential? range after discovering that

> the cut-price products had led to a number of poor

> people shopping there.

>

> The discount brand, launched in 2009 to help

> Waitrose?s core customer base cope with the

> recession without having to downgrade one of their

> Range Rovers, was proving extremely successful.

> This success appears to have come at a price

> though, with the unwanted side effect of

> attracting the working class.

>

> ?At first it worked fine, our regular shoppers

> were delighted with the new range, and common

> people were still put off by the Waitrose

> branding? explained marketing director Rupert

> Thomas, ?but as we advertised more, and made the

> mistake of including the prices of products in our

> TV commercials, we began to see some undesirable

> characters appearing in our aisles, enticed in by

> the prospect of finding a tin of beans for under

> ?5, which they previously hadn?t expected from us.

> One horrid man even came in wearing a Hi-Vis vest

> looking for a sandwich. It was awful.?

>

> The popularity of the ?essential? range had seen

> it quickly expand to include affordable versions

> of many foodstuffs and household items. To make

> matters worse Waitrose also starting pointing out

> that many of their prices were the same as those

> found in Tescos, attracting even more lower class

> shoppers and alienating many of their existing

> clientele. ?It was so demeaning finding out that I

> wasn?t paying any more for my groceries than a

> common chav? moaned former Waitrose customer Emily

> Hamilton-Brown. ?I?ve gone back to doing my weekly

> shop at Fortnum & Mason now, just to make sure I

> don?t accidentally purchase something that?s

> buy-one-get-one-free.?

>

> ?Hopefully withdrawing the products and stopping

> the adverts will stop any additional commoners

> coming in,? continued Mr Thomas, ?but we still

> have the problem of getting rid of the ones that

> have already started shopping with us. They?re

> still turning up, wandering around looking a bit

> lost and not buying anything. We?re thinking of

> putting up signs outside pointing out that Lidl

> down the road has some great deals on, or maybe

> we?ll just put down some traps baited with chicken

> nuggets so we can catch them humanely and release

> them in Asda.?


Funny stuff.


On a serious note I tried some of their 'Essential' pasta (fusilli) from Ocado and it was awful.

Huguenot Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I must have missed something? I can't identify the

> quote or the book?



Erm, it's a blog that pastiches national information campaigns, it's pure genius throughout.

Follow linky and enjoy.

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    • While it is good that GALA have withdrawn their application for a second weekend, local people and councillors will likely have the same fight on their hands for next year's event. In reading the consultation report, I noted the Council were putting the GALA event in the same light as all the other events that use the park, like the Circus, the Fair and even the FOPR fete. ALL of those events use the common, not the park, and cause nothing like the level of noise and/or disruption of the GALA event. Even the two day Irish Festival (for those that remember that one) was never as noisy as GALA. So there is some disingenuity and hypocrisy from the Council on this, something I wll point out in my response to the report. The other point to note was that in past years branches were cut back for the fencing. Last year the council promised no trees would be cut after pushback, but they seem to now be reverting to a position of 'only in agreement with the council's arbourist'. Is this more hypocrisy from 'green' Southwark who seem to once again be ok with defacing trees for a fence that is up for just days? The people who now own GALA don't live in this area. GALA as an event began in Brockwell Park. It then lost its place there to bigger events (that pesumably could pay Lambeth Council more). One of the then company directors lived on the Rye Hill Estate next to the park and that is likely how Peckham Rye came to be the new choice for the event. That person is no longer involved. Today's GALA company is not the same as the 'We Are the Fair' company that held that first event, not the same in scope, aim or culture. And therein lies the problem. It's not a local community led enterprise, but a commercial one, underwritten by a venture capital company. The same company co-run the Rally Event each year in Southwark Park, which btw is licensed as a one day event only. That does seem to be truer to the original 'We Are the Fair' vision, but how much of that is down to GALA as opoosed to 'Bird on the Wire' (the other group organising it) is hard to say.  For local people, it's three days of not being able to open windows, As someone said above, if a resident set up a PA in their back garden and subjected the neighbours to 10 hours of hard dance music every day for three days, the Council would take action. Do not underestimate how distressing that is for many local residents, many of whom are elderly, frail, young, vulnerable. They deserve more respect than is being shown by those who think it's no big deal. And just to be clear, GALA and the council do not consider there to be a breach of db level if the level is corrected within 15 minutes of the breach. In other words, while db levels are set as part of the noise management plan, there is an acknowledgement that a breach is ok if corrected within 15 minutes. That is just not good enough. Local councillors objected to the proposed extension. 75% of those that responded to the consultation locally did not want GALA 26 to take place at all. For me personally, any goodwill that had been built up through the various consultations over recent years was erased with that application for a second weekend, and especially given that when asked if there were plans for that in post 2025 event feedback meetings (following rumours), GALA lied and said there were no plans to expand. I have come to the conclusion that all the effort to appease on some things is merely an exercise in show, to get past the council's threshold for the events licence. They couldn't give a hoot in reality for local people, and people that genuinely care about parkland, don't litter it with noisy festivals either.   
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