Why are bar staff so slow?

[djfitz]

Any ideas?

I can't understand why, in every pub I've ever been to in London, the staff can only serve one person and can only remember at most two drinks out of an order at a time. It really makes for tedious - not to mention thirsty - waiting at the bar.

IMO The Dog has always been the worst offender despite being my favourite pub.

Is it a tradition I'm unaware of?

In Ireland the lads can serve three long orders at a time (granted each order is for ten pints of Guinness, but still...)

[Brendan]

I think they're just trying to piss us off.

[Jah Lush]

You're right about the Dog and it's always been like that in all the years I've been going there and having been to bars in Northern Ireland too I can vouch for the speedy delivery of orders and friendly service that I have not experienced anywhere else. I'm a very thirsty kind of bloke and speed is of the essence. I want beer and I want it NOW!!!!

[HonaloochieB]

What's the hurry, Clyde?

While you're waiting drink in the atmosphere.

[djfitz]

But in The Dog you need a pint to drink while you're waiting to be served your next pint.

That could be considered anti-social behaviour. Or problematic drinking.

Or thirst.

[SeanMacGabhann]

Not that I'm saying anyone should go there (although I am partial to the window seat upstairs) but Waxy's Little Sister in Chinatown usually has just one bar person on whenever I've been in there but he takes several orders at once and it really is like being back home in Ireland

Why is bar service slower in England generally - I wouldn't like to comment. But I agree the Dog has always been the worst and it's sister pub the Plough is catching up.

When I've worked in bars in England I would say punters can be as bad - they rarely give a list of drinks, it's always: Pint of lager and a coke... wait.. oh and 2 vodkas.....wait....THEN they ask for 2 pints of guiness.. hnnngggggggggg

[one for Petty Annoyances there maybe]

[Jah Lush]

I think you'll find that Nick Cave was inspired to write these lyrics whilst desperately waiting to be served in the Dog one afternoon.

THIRSTY DOG

I know you've heard it all before

But I'm sorry for this three year war

For the setting up of camps

and wire and trenches

I'm sorry for the other night

I know sorry it don't make it right

I'm sorry for things I can't even mention

I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry

I'm sitting feeling sorry in the Thirsty Dog

I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry

I'm feeling very sorry in the Thirsty Dog

You keep nailing me back into my box

I'm sorry I keep popping back up

With my crazy mouth

and jangling jester's cap

I'm sorry I ever wrote that book

I'm sorry for the way I look

But there ain't a lot that

I can do about that

I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry

I'm sitting feeling sorry in the Thirsty Dog

I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry

I'm feeling very sorry in the Thirsty Dog

I'm sorry about the hospital

Some things are unforgivable

That things simply cannot be forgiven

I was not equipped to know how to care

And on the occassions I came up for air

I saw my life and wondered

what the hell I had been living

I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry

I'm sitting feeling sorry in the Thirsty Dog

I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry

I'm feeling very very sorry in the Thirsty Dog

I'm sorry about all your friends

I hope they'll speak to me again

I said before I'd pay for all the damages

I'm sorry it's just rotten luck

I'm sorry I've forgotten how to fuck

It's just that I think my heart

and soul are kind of famished

I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry

I'm sitting feeling sorry in the Thirsty Dog

I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry

I'm feeling very sorry in the Thirsty Dog

Forgive me, baby but don't worry

Love is always having to

say you're sorry

And I am, from my head

down to my shoes

I'm sorry that I'm always pissed

I'm sorry that I exist

And when I look into your eyes

I can see you're sorry too

I'm sorry, sorry, sorry

I'm sitting feeling sorry in the Thirsty Dog

I'm sorry, sorry, sorry

I'm feeling very sorry in the Thirsty Dog

I'm sorry, sorry, sorry

I'm feeling very thirsty in the Sorry Dog

I'm sorry, sorry, sorry

I'm feeling very sorry in the Thirsty Dog

[djfitz]

"When I've worked in bars in England I would say punters can be as bad - they rarely give a list of drinks, it's always: Pint of lager and a coke... wait.. oh and 2 vodkas.....wait....THEN they ask for 2 pints of guiness.. hnnngggggggggg"

But perhaps these people have learned to order like this. I found it odd that as I was half way through my order the bar-person would just walk away and go through to the other part of the bar, pour a single pint/ spirit and return, place it on the counter and say "Anything else?" so I'd have to go through the order again.

[giggirl]

I never get served at bars. I'm invisible to staff. And I always want to buy my round; I'm not backward in that respect. It's embarrassing when you offer to buy a round and then get stuck at the bar waving a twenty pound note around for an eternity. Always happens, every time. Maybe move to the petty annoyances thread?

[djfitz]

And Jah, I reckon that Nick Cave didn't write those lyrics. They've clearly been written by someone who eventually died at the bar in The Dog while waiting for Healing Booze.

I'd say that Nick fellow lifted them off his corpse.

He fell in with a Bad lot, you know.

[HonaloochieB]

Is it due to the decline in the full-time professional Irish barman?

You know he always opened the festivities with a hearty "Now!", and proceeded to take your order, while ensuring that the people around you were aware that he'd be with them shortly. He'd also tactfully point out your error in ordering Guiness last and most importantly of all he would know the exact order that people had arrived at the bar and would serve everyone in that order, oblivious to the tenner twirling.

As a bonus if a chap was of the sporting fraternity he would have a ready supply of 'certs'.

However this was probably not his strongest point.

[djfitz]

I'm glad you brought up the whole "order of people at the bar" thing. Asking "who's next?" may have been all well and good in Victorian England but if you try to assert your rightful place as next-to-order-pints in a pub in South East London you could be shot. Or simply ignored, as poor giggirl has found.

[giggirl]

I agree that professional barstaff should remember what order to serve people. The Irish are the best - they're born to it.

[djfitz]

It's the drink. We're at our best surrounding by the stuff.

It's no coincidence that the other term for amniotic fluid is "Liqour" - fact. Like you say, we're born to it.

[AcedOut]

"professional barstaff" - is there such a thing? Is it just me, or is the word 'professional' a rather overused term?

[giggirl]

Yes there is such a thing as professional barstaff. For me it's someone who is properly trained and sees it as a proper job, not someone using bar work as a stepping stone or to get extra money but doesn't really have the skills to run a bar properly.

[Brendan]

You can always pick a fight with the barman. It doesn?t get you served any quicker but it can be quite fun.

[mockney piers]

Of course there is.

Barservice should be a vocation, a calling, a job to take pride in.

Poor pubs are getting squeezed and can only afford minimum wage much of the time, hence why these days only students, those on their travels and east europeans (unlikely for much longer with such a weak pound) end up working. Hence little understanding of the mores of bar etiquette and no real professionalism.

I miss the preponderance of antipodes, they took real pride in their work. I'm not saying an Italian student isn't generally more pleasing on the eye, but they really will only just be getting up to speed by the time they leave.

Good service can of course be found outside of expensive cities with high student populations. In some villages outside of Letchworth/Hitchin I can still get my usual 15 years after moving out...now that's what I call professionalism!!

[Moos]

So... are you saying Australians are ugly or Italians are sloppy?

[Brendan]

You are right there Mockney. The SaffriKiwiStralian bar staff you used to get a few years back were generally pretty good. What happened to them? I know I should probably know this but I don?t as I?m a bit disconnected (in general not just from home).

[djfitz]

That's because Antipods are at least one quarter Irish drunk thug/thief. It's genetics.

South Africans, one the other hand, also have a strong work ethic.

Don't you just love generalising?

[Brendan]

Hey! Who do you think you?re calling ethical?

[djfitz]

No, not you. God forbid!

I meant Bocs have, in addition to genetics, a strong work ethic. Generally. And that.

signed, Paddy.

hic

[HonaloochieB]

FIGHT! FIGHT!! FIGHT!!!

[Brendan]

Fight?