Slugs (in East Dulwich)

[Bryan Cocksedge]

May I just point out that in my considered opinion East Dulwich is the slug capital of south east England.

I am considering writing an opera about this issue but somehow I think the bigwigs at the Arts Council won't care much for such a homespun endeavour.

How many times have you said to a passing old lady "Watch out for that dog turd" only to witness the turd sliver away? Indeed East Dulwich is awash with both slugs and dog turds and it is easy to mistake one for the other.

The purpose of this posting is to enquire if there is any economic value to our wealth of slugs and would it be possible to create some kind of culinary equivalent to the French enjoyment of the Roman snail?

[Brendan]

How about a biological solution? We can introduce a natural predator. How about these? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parktown_prawn

[Bryan Cocksedge]

If Living South magazine had the courage to print my diatribe against the possible introduction of a sap sucking nympth to combat the scourge of Japanese Knotweed you would be aware of my opposition to such schemes. Every time a ring necked parakeet defecates onto my garments drying on the washing line I clench my fist and openly curse Johnny Weismuller's decision to release the blasted creatures after filming a vine swinging sequence over Peckham Rye pond. We live with these consequences.

The only solution to our slug preponderence is to serve them with a hint of wild garlic and basil. Surely with the current fashion for local produce The Magnolia would be interested in such an original twist on Mollusc munching? And local teenage tearaways could spend their time with bucket in hand collecting the slugs for five pence a piece, much better than them spending all hours sitting on my wall smoking their "doobies".

[candj]

Dear Bryan,

It is my understanding that tortoises also are natural predators of slugs so perhaps get a few in your garden. Also, a good freeze during the winter months might kill a batch off. Sorry not to offer any culinary advice, but do let us know how you get on with the basil and garlic remedy as it sounds mighty tasty indeed.

Sorry Brendan, I would rather have slugs than THAT prawn cocktail thing.

[Bryan Cocksedge]

I suggest all interested parties form a business syndicate. We could then afford a celebrity, maybe Duncan Goodhew or Dr Hilary Jones, to extol the virtues of the East Dulwich slug. This surely would mean us receiving the media attention we so desperately crave.

As Chairman of the syndicate I need to put my thinking cap on to work out a more thorough approach. Coincidentally my brother works for the PR company that handles the public engagements of both Duncan Goodhew and Dr Hilary Jones so I will get on the blower pronto!

[Brendan]

candj Wrote:

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> It is my understanding that tortoises also are

> natural predators of slugs

A tortoise chasing a slug. That could make for the world?s longest wildlife documentary.

[Ant]

Just speed it up and whack some funny music under it. Sorted.

[Bryan Cocksedge]

If for some inexplicable reason I do not get the engaged tone on the "dog and bone" I shall find out if either Duncan Goodhew or Dr Hilary Jones would be interested in performing a rap soundtrack over the amusing film sequence you have suggested. An excellent idea for a television advertisement if our plans come to fruition!

[Brendan]

I was going more down the lines of a David Attenborough commentary lasting an entire Sunday afternoon.

[Bryan Cocksedge]

I have seen the extended advertorials for carpet shampoos on the less well viewed television stations. Although they probably are succesful in selling unusually branded cleaning products I would suggest that it would not be the case for culinary delicacies.

[AndyB]

Brendan Wrote:

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> How about a biological solution? We can introduce

> a natural predator. How about these?

> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parktown_prawn

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/4e/ParktownPrawn_Large.jpg

Christ , are you mad!?! I grew up around Parktown Prawns and believe me, you do not want to be introducing them anywhere! They will breed like crazy and are impossible to kill. Even if you do manage to hack the head off of one, it will still try and kill you. I once had one in the kitchen sink- I turned the taps on full blast and managed to force it down the plug hole. It then clung on to the edge of the hole for days and refused to budge. I poured every insecticide including industrial sheep dip on it- nothing. I poured lighter fluid on it and set fire to it- nothing. I smashed it's front legs with a ball peen hammer- nowt!

When the end of the world comes, only Parktown Prawns and chavs will survive. We are better off with slugs

[Bryan Cocksedge]

It's a no from both Goodhew and Hilary Jones but the good news is we've got a 'definitely interested' from Fred Dineage who's prepared to eat a slug in front of assorted media and will do a voice-over in the rapping style to the amusing television advertisement. The former is dependent that the slug has been cooked thoroughly.

[redjam]

Christ , are you mad!?! I grew up around Parktown Prawns and believe me, you do not want to be introducing them anywhere! They will breed like crazy and are impossible to kill. Even if you do manage to hack the head off of one, it will still try and kill you. I once had one in the kitchen sink- I turned the taps on full blast and managed to force down the plug hole. It then clung on to the edge of the hole for days and refused to budge. I poured every insecticide including industrial sheep dip on it- nothing. I poured lighter fluid on it and set fire to it- nothing. I smashed it's front legs with a ball peen hammer- nowt!

When the end of the world comes, only Parktown Prawns and chavs will survive. We are better off with slugs

Blimey, you sound even more scary than the Parktown Prawn.

[EDOldie]

Don't think he is

http://www.lamrim.org.uk/sa/park_town_prawn.jpg

[Brendan]

pah that's a small one. Top trick is to kick them into a swimming pool and watch how they sink and then walk along the bottom unperturbed by the fact that they're underwater.

Waking up with one walking across your bare chest, now that?s a rare treat. Or perhaps the old chestnut of putting a bare foot into and slipper that one has decided to have a little kip in.

But they?ll eat the slugs mind.

[Bryan Cocksedge]

But so too will Fred Dineage.

[SteveT]

toads eat slugs and so will ducks but you need to provide a bowl of water for the ducks to drink from afterwards.

[Brendan]

If you put a bowl of beer in the garden they all crawl into it and drown.

[Hannah6_6]

What a waste of beer!!

[Bryan Cocksedge]

The perfect recipe. Slug and ale pie!

[Jimma]

I learnt last night that Seaweed is the perfect slug repellent - as its naturally salty and the slugs hate it - while being nutritious for your garden...not sure where to buy it from though..

[candj]

Some fertilizers are made from seaweed. Perhaps any garden centre would stock this.