Jump to content

Recommended Posts

bon3yard Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I used to get rapped on the knuckles with a ruler

> at school for that...still stings. :-S


Still Sting's...a what?

Was it it him that hit you on the knuckles when he was a teacher in Newcastle?

Wouldn't be surprised, he looks the type. F@cker.

bon3yard Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Tantric yoghurt weaving, tree hugging, whale

> fancying, luxury caravaned, cod reggae producing

> jizz packet...erm, thats what. Sting stinks...God

> forgive me for my 'Dream of the Blue Turtles'

> fixation when I was 13.


I trust she will forgive you Bon3Yard, 'cos I won't.

LISTENING TO STING MAKES WINE TASTE LIKE TRAMP?S PISS


LISTENING to any record by Sting while drinking wine will make even the finest vintage taste like rancid tramp's urine, research reveals.

'Ten Summoner's Tales' can absolutely ruin a bottle of Cloudy Bay. Study author Professor Henry Brubaker said the taste varied according to the song, with Roxanne leaving behind the delicate flavour of a young runaway after two nights in a cardboard box next to the Royal Festival Hall.

However, listening to Sting's recent album of lute tunes Songs from the Labyrinth made a Petrus '61 taste like the distilled micturation of a homeless Glaswegian alcoholic who had been marinated for ten years in his own vomit.

Professor Brubaker said: "In laboratory tests we gave one subject a Chateau Margaux '78 and then put on The Dream of the Blue Turtles. He was sick on my shoes.

"We then gave another subject a nice glass of zingy Cloudy Bay sauvignon blanc, started playing De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da and by the chorus she had pulled out her own tongue and ripped her ears off.

"We were going to repeat the experiment using Chris de Burgh's Lady in Red but my ethics committee intervened. I don?t want to go to jail for manslaughter."

The professor added: "At first we thought the cause might be some previously undiscovered link between the fungiform papillae taste buds and the Eustachian tube of the ear. But then someone pointed out that Sting's music is just a lot of pish."

Heard an interview with the drummer from The Police a while ago on Radio 4. Everything he said about Sting just made me dislike the man more and more.


I did like a few Police hits, but his solo stuff is fecking horrid! (although Eva Cassidy took a boring bland song and turned it in to something beautiful with her version of Fields of gold).

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • It used to he that car badges were stolen just as trophies. Their value resided in their display value to demonstrate - well, something. Nerve perhaps. 
    • Someone or some people stole  the Nissan  badges from my ancient Micra, which definitely did not have anything of value lurking beneath them, including the car. Not sure if this was  their  stupidity,  random vandalism, or the badges had some intrinsic value of which I was totally unaware. It was on two separate occasions.
    • We've just used Aaron and I'd strongly recommend him. Excellent plasterer. Not the cheapest but very tidy and quick – so good value for money. He cleaned up well and a nice bloke too.  Aaron Manser 07773 410661
    • Admittedly I have not gone  through that application with a fine tooth comb, riveting though it is (thank you for posting the link). However,  unless I have misunderstood, within the documents it says that  there are eleven properties associated with the application. Could someone at Tesco have made a mistake with the address,  and in fact it has nothing to do with Poundland? Sorry, somehow I have duplicated my own post, and I'm not sure how to remove the duplicate. DUH.
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...