[Joke Post] Friend of mine asked for help... but honestly... no idea where to start...

[2nd time mummy]

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2,

which I had used for years without any trouble.

However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products

and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the

sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is

incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut

3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9..

Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and

left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for

several weeks.

Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the

same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected

each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fianc?e 1.0, only to discover that this

product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0

tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled

with CookingPlus and Cleanhouse2008.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be

very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were

automatically stored in Wife 1..0's memory and could not be deleted.

They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.

Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter,

and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge.

These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to

guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly,

requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle

Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week.

Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard

drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw,

which can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2007, but there

could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that

if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2007, it tends to delete all of your

Money before uninstalling itself.

Friend of mine asked for help... but honestly... no idea where to start... Any help welcomed...

Names hidden in order to protect their identity...

[bigbadwolf]

Very funny, especially the irritating pop up 'mother in law'. Ha ha.

[annaj]

*sigh*

I have to disagree.

Tedious, juvenille, sexist nonsense that's really not funny and certainly not clever.

This is the kind of thing I delete people from my address book for sending me.

[SeanMacGabhann]

and it could have gone in the jokes thread as well

but apart from that Ms Cruz, don't let us put you off coming to the Phoenix tomorrow night (I saw on that thread you were taking the plunge) - we are friendlier in person

[2nd time mummy]

Hi SM - Thanks for the kind note & vote of encourgement... Will certainly come. Very excited. :-)

Opssss.... Hey Mr Administrator can you move this (Tedious, juvenille, sexist nonsense) to the jokes thread????? Don't want to go around upsetting people...

Still for what it is worth a little laugh always go well with a cup of tea and a biscuit in the afternoon...

[annaj]

Sorry Raquel (and saint MacGabhann) that was a bit snappy wasn't it.

Those jokes just really annoy me.

I don't bite in person though, I'll buy you a dink tomorrow to make up..

:-$

[2nd time mummy]

Hey Annaj... no offense taken.. I am cool.

so.......... friends then :)-D

[SeanMacGabhann]

Anything that is usually "forwarded" to someones address book is almost certainly not worth it. How many people received "nice" texts from friends on New Year's Eve only to receive the exact same one from 5 other people

As Annaj says... it's Delete territory

[2nd time mummy]

Hey Mr Administrator - Could you please just delete in order to prevent further humiliation?....

I should now conclude for the day.