5 major world religions....

[Mick Mac]

There are 5 major world religions. So 4 of them are unfortunatley going to be wrong. 4/5 of religious people are wasting their time.

Come judgement day, you are faced with the leaders of the 5 major religions.

The God you have worshipped lifts a piece of card, gets ready to open it and you hold your breath, He opens it and it says "BLUFF". You feel rather let down.

Have just seen that joke on Mock the Week. Only those who remember "Call my Bluff" will indentify with it, perhaps.

[Keef]

But surely if they're nice, they'll just let you live in paradise if you're nice... Well that's what I'm hoping anyway.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Keef Wrote:

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> But surely if they're nice, they'll just let you

> live in paradise if you're nice... Well that's

> what I'm hoping anyway.

Mick Mac: An eternal invitation to Celtic Park.

It doesn't get any better M8:)

[Mick Mac]

Good pun TLS - I like it.

[mockney piers]

Just take out 5 Pascal's wagers. Evens i reckon.

[Huguenot]

And what a marvellous wager.

*taps watch*

[HonaloochieB]

All GODs are just some bunch of heinous c@bollokses that are no more real than Lord Mandelsohn.

[HonaloochieB]

Or they're AS real as the credit crunch.

[HonaloochieB]

At least I know I'm going somewhere warm.

[Mikecg]

I personally think that religion is all about controlling people and that there is nothing outside of human consciousness.

But if there is ?.

[HonaloochieB]

Mikecg Wrote:

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> I personally think that religion is all about

> controlling people and that there is nothing

> outside of human consciousness.

> But if there is ?.

If there is then I'll just talk it out with the deity involved.

God, I'll say, no seriously I will. God, look, no looooook, no really, I know what I used to say when I was alive about you being some sort of construct or superstition or even that time when I opined you were 'a supersticious construct laced with the folderol of oppression and violent bigotry' but I think we can let bygones be bygones can't we?

I'd just been to see The Exorcist and some irreligious hoor at work kept trying to press the works of Freidrich Nietzche on me (forgive me Lord if I didn't spell his name correctly) and I don't think I should be judged too harshly for what was an opinion.

But you know what, f@ck it. You 'gave' me free will, and I've had it. Bet you were behind Free Willy and all weren;t you?

You know what, up yours. You're not the boss of me you f@cker.

Get thee behind me Satan? HOW DO.

To quote Bill Murray UP YOUR BUTT WITH A COCONUT.

[HonaloochieB]

This Peroni's strong stuff isn't it?

[Mikecg]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

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> This Peroni's strong stuff isn't it?

Yes it is.

However when I'm face to face with the Almighty I shall say, Gees ya coulda been a bit more benevolent about it.

[????]

BBW can't have smoked much this weekend or he'd have been over this like a rash

[KalamityKel]

I dunno about u lot but I have my heart set on Narnia!

[Shu.Kurimu.Sensei]

Religion is an opiate only taken by the truly ignorant in life who infect their offspring with it.

This is pretty cool though:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8007506.stm

[bigbadwolf]

???? Wrote:

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> BBW can't have smoked much this weekend or he'd

> have been over this like a rash

It may come as a great surprise to you Quids but I'm not a very heavy marijuana user. I bought some last week but that was smoked between me and the lads. I prefer alcohol as habitual herboids talk alot of shite as I'm sure you'll agree.

Concerning religion. I wasn't brought up in a religious household but I know I'm going to hell. But it's warm and I'll know people there so whateveeeeer!

[snorky]

I sawe that Joke on the repeat of mock the week on dave on Friday as well.

[bigbadwolf]

I got it from Jason Rouse. Channel Dave should be re-named 'Jeremy' with the amount of Top Gear they show.

[PeckhamRose]

Anyone got the figures for how many people actively do not believe?

Does that make us in the top five? ie. four religions and one actively saying there is no such thing?!

BHA are trying to change the way the question will be asked in the next UK census. Quite right too!