The Susan Boyle Factor...

[*Bob*]

Who doesn't like trucks?

[Moos]

I'm not that big on trucks. Am I still allowed to watch Susan Boyle? We should perhaps factor in that I've sung in a choir, and I own some CDs. Oh, and some cassette tapes too.

[*Bob*]

I'm a sucker for a talent show, but haven't succumbed to BGT (seeing Penis Morgan for more than five minutes at a time makes me feel unclean). It's interesting dipping in to these shows 'cold' on YouTube, without the preamble, hype and primetime buzz.

There's Cowell, with his big orange face, fluorescent white veneered teeth and ridiculous hair transplant. Holden, vacuous as ever - contributing nothing more than her usual pitiful range of wide-eyed second-rate 'acting-faces' (they might as well have placed a blowup doll in the seat and have a man under the desk wobbling it if something interesting happens). And not forgetting potato-headed Morgan, scoffing, leering and generally oiling-up the stage. The local shopping centres have been emptied to fill the studio audience, lured on a promise of a potential freakshow and free biscuits. The stage is set.

[*Bob*]

So what of our Susan? Well, she's no oil painting is she, eh??! Ha Ha.. EH?!? See?? Not just your average plain type either (plenty of those knocking around thank you very much). No, our Susan is a bit of a minger, isn't she ho ho ho! And she's older (*tick*) and also slightly eccentric (*tick) with a regional accent (*tick*). So you see the juxtaposition of her singing voice (comparatively very good) with her looks (comparatively very poor) registers as TELLY GOLD on the Cowellculator.

Here's looking forward to her makeover on GMTV where they give her an unsuitable haircut and dress her like a prostitute. And all in the name of entertainment.. for US! I'm so proud..

See also:

The fat one on X-Factor..

The one with the stammer on Pop Idol.. hang on.. I think I see a pattern..

[Help-Ma-Boab]

Hope this attached?

[LordshipLovely]

I must admit, I was pleasantly surprised when SB started singing. The BGT production team had played the backing music in the run up to her performance that implied she was going to be absolutely sh*t.

However, although a nice singer, she's far from perfect and could do with some vocal coaching. I think that if she were more attractive, Cowell would have done the whole 'Look. There are thousands of people out there who can sing just as well blah blah blah, what makes you so special', then would have reluctantly put her through. It was the shock factor that did it. I wonder how many daytime magazine shows are queuing up to do the makeover for her big reveal during the next round?

I was far more impressed by the young lad - absolute quality.

[Sherwick]

Yeah, he's unbelieveably good for a 12 year old. I have some very talented musicians in my family (got to grade 7 on the piano myself but don't consider myself to have any talent!) but none were as good as this guy at their respective ages..

[*Bob*]

Musical instrument grades are pretty meaningless in the grand scheme of things. More of a boxticker for the parents than anything else. I wish I'd have known that at the time, instead of pointlessly grubbing my way to grade 8 with parrot-fashion playing, no real skill and at great expense.

[LordshipLovely]

*Bob*,

I agree, after getting pretty high up in the grades myself and now not playing for 10 years, I am currently pretty useless. I wish I had had a teacher who could have done some improv skills and playing by ear along side the classical stuff. He just wasn't interested in teaching me using contemporary pieces or methods. Such a shame, I struggle with a Christmas carol now.

LL.

[Sherwick]

*Bob* Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Musical instrument grades are pretty meaningless

> in the grand scheme of things. More of a boxticker

> for the parents than anything else. I wish I'd

> have known that at the time, instead of

> pointlessly grubbing my way to grade 8 with

> parrot-fashion playing, no real skill and at great

> expense.

Yeah same here. I gaveup with my 8 year old cousin taught himself and could go to a classical concert and come back and play with both hands (and he played jazz too at that age)..

[KalamityKel]

Obviously, as quite a talented multi-instrument musician as myself these comments are just beyond my capacity of understanding :p

I've always been surrounded with VERY talented youngsters when growing up so don't quite "get" the excitment with of Shaheen. Good luck to all though!

[BigPhil]

SeanMacGabhann Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Now THAT's a tune Big Phil

>

> I like trucks

We used to have "my song sundays" at a previous pub where customers bring a mix of up to 5 songs on ipod, etc and play them for everyone to enjoy.

Thats how I first met and then then proceeded to fall in love with Kendall Carson.

her album "rearview mirror tears" is a fantastic album.

might look at something like that over the summer. I can just imagine some peoples mixes......

[David Mc]

I don't like trucks.

[BigPhil]

let me guess , David , you like smart cars....?

[????]

THIS is the only thing worth watching on TV at the moment...knocks shit out of the X-Factor and all the other 'talent' shows

*sighs*.ok and The Wire Sean

[BigPhil]

am glued to bravo and comedy channels mostly now

Dog the bounty hunter

2 & 1/2 men

king of queens

everybody hates raymond

except for late am when gold channel has only fools & horses

seen em all before but am enjoying the laughs pt 2

also must watch at least 8 hours of sports each day ( the reality of running sports pubs)

talent and x factor just dont do it for me

[mockney piers]

I'm hoping penis as a substitute doesn't stick.....hm may rephrase that

[suniil]

the new Susan Boyle

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/tv/article2393404.ece

[suniil]

this girl seem to be really good, though a very polished voice

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9RyGfAzyEA

[Mikecg]

I'm not a fan of reality TV it's a load of old crap really especially as I'm a musician, but people dont want to hear about musicians anymore it's all about singers and kids and other stuff, us muso types have been religated to obscurity where we belong. but in fairness to what Jah said he's right it's a load of media hype driven by a jumped up mofo with another mofo and a ho. *Bob* your talking sense again just stop it will you it's not her fault she reminds me of a pork scratching, I dont know why but she does.

PS I like pork scratchings.

[Mikecg]

I almost forgot, theres a lot of talk about makeovers from the media camp but can they perform miracles because that's what it would take, I doubt it as I've said before you cant polish a ahem woops I almost slipped back then.

[Mick Mac]

She's 48 - there is a reason why she has not succeeded before - any guesses....

Now these guys have talent

Greek Irish Dancers,,,,, Britains got talent

Hilarious.

[Mikecg]

In truth I did feel for her when she said I've never been kissed (No shirt shitlock) seriously though I think theres someone for everybody, a pair of tweezers and a bottle of nice 'N easy can work wonders not perform miracles agreed but it is a bit of a shame really I hope she gets somewhere and the dream is realized.

The greek guys were great fun and they really did steal the show that day I thought they were excellent.

[RosieH]

Oh for god's sake, she's hardly hideous. Her eyebrows are a little Heseltine for modern day usage (although big eyebrows have been the fashion for a year or so now) but she's hardly a monster. A makeover wouldn't require any manner of miracle - just a pair of scissors and a different dress.

And I assume Amanda Holden is the ho rather than the mofo???? Mikecg, come on, you can do better

As for people not wanting to hear about musicians any more, are you kidding me? have you ever seen more guitars in the charts? Have you seen that shitey programme that curly tosspot Zane does on T4 where they're looking for a new band? It's all about the tedious fucking musos and it wouldn't have happened in the days of britpop.

[Mikecg]

Yaaawwwwwnnnnn!!!!!!