Moving (for work) with school-age child?

[Saffron]

Moving to SW London, would you consider it?

I'm starting a new job in the Kingston area in August. The commute will be about 2.5-3hrs from our current place here in the SE. It's a two-year contract with scope for renewal/promotion at the end.

If DH and I didn't have a 5yo currently in reception, this decision would be much easier! We previously lived in Hampton (before we had Little Saff) and really like the area, but the thought of moving now and changing schools is a little overwhelming... though possibly not as overwhelming as the thought of commuting to ft job AND doing school runs.

Any advice/experience on work moves with school-age children?

[nikki73]

I am about to move abroad for work with 5.5 and 3.5 yo. Foreign language etc. I think kids this age find a lot easier than us to cope with change. They might be unsettled in very short term but long term better for them

[tyor]

Hi Saffron,

First of all congrats on the new job. Oh, the headaches of being a working parent. Since Little Saff is 5yrs old that means he will be changing school in September regardless of whether you're moving or not. We recently moved and uprooting the kids from their school is something we just didn't want to do, and didn't. So I can understand your apprehension.

Because Little Saf is starting Yr1 in Sept, I think you're in a better situation. If I were in your shoes, I'd consider renting out our current home and renting one in Kingston or some place where commuting will not be a nightmare for both you and your husband/partner and find a school there for Little Saf. Bearing in mind that applications to primary schools (private and state) would have closed by now, I'd strongly suggest you start looking asap.

Just my 2 cents.

[Saffron]

nikki73 Wrote:

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> I am about to move abroad for work with 5.5 and

> 3.5 yo. Foreign language etc. I think kids this

> age find a lot easier than us to cope with change.

> They might be unsettled in very short term but

> long term better for them

Yes indeed. Little Saff would cope fine. She loves meeting new children and is very extroverted. I think DH and I are the ones who will find it disorienting. :-0

Good luck with your move abroad. That sounds amazing! xx

[Saffron]

tyor Wrote:

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> Hi Saffron,

>

> First of all congrats on the new job. Oh, the

> headaches of being a working parent. Since Little

> Saff is 5yrs old that means he will be changing

> school in September regardless of whether you're

> moving or not. We recently moved and uprooting the

> kids from their school is something we just didn't

> want to do, and didn't. So I can understand your

> apprehension.

>

> Because Little Saf is starting Yr1 in Sept, I

> think you're in a better situation. If I were in

> your shoes, I'd consider renting out our current

> home and renting one in Kingston or some place

> where commuting will not be a nightmare for both

> you and your husband/partner and find a school

> there for Little Saf. Bearing in mind that

> applications to primary schools (private and

> state) would have closed by now, I'd strongly

> suggest you start looking asap.

>

> Just my 2 cents.

Nope, not changing schools in Sept. She will enter yr1 in the same school where she currently attends reception class. If we do move we will obviously change schools to SW London. We would do this in Dec/Jan. We can't apply for this type of in-year transfer yet, AFAIK.

We're definitely not in a financial position to move before then either. We're renting, so moving is potentially more straightforward but will be stupidly expensive for the amount of pfaff involved. But compared to commuting???? Argh I don't know! If we move to be close to my job, DH will have to commute and/or build up a new client base. However, my job presents opportunity for SERIOUS career progress and salary advancements.

I'm concerned that the commute is really going to sap my energy. Anyone else experienced that, or the opposite? Decisions, decisions. xx

[slh2009]

Just re the commute....I meet a friend in Kingston sometimes and it takes me just over an hour to drive there from Sydenham....admittedly not in the rush hour but 3 hours sounds like a very long time?!

[brezzo]

Could you do a cycle/train commute?

[Norfolkvillas]

On your question about the commute sapping your energy: I commute from the east side of ED to Shepherds Bush (and before that Chiswick). I drive, and it takes me an hour and ten minutes-ish each way and I do it 5 days a week. Traffic is sluggish and I know every single back route and short cut there is. It is undeniably a huge chunk of time out of my week, and it can make me feel like a hamster on a wheel sometimes. But generally, I wouldn't say it saps my energy and I make an effort to frame it as quality me time. I try and use the time, either for thinking through work issues, or just listening to the Today programme on R4 and keeping up with the world. And no-one asks me to wipe their bottom, which is a big plus!

[Ellie78]

I commuted very regularly from East d to Hampton court via train. It's not too long (changed at Wimbledon but it was pre overground, otherwise might have gone to Clapham) and I didn't find it too bad. I'd never consider moving on that distance/commute unless I really wanted to.

Kingston would be quicker.

But I don't see how you could fit a school run into the scenario....

[Mrs TP]

Basing decisions on the unknown is always difficult and fraught with 'what ifs'. Why not give the commuting a go for say 3mths and see how it is all working out and then reconsider your options with some actual hindsight experience.

[Fuschia]

Commuting over 90 minutes is too much to sustain long term, in my experience

[Coach Beth]

It must be quicker to get to Kingston - particularly with the direct link to Clapham Junction. I would have thought 1.5 hours max.

[Pugwash]

Going down the A3 can be time consuming. I used to work at East Sheen and found all the backstreet routes from Clapham onwards to avoid the traffic jams. once you are past West Hill Wandsworth it seem easier

[womanofdulwich]

Scooter/ motorbike. 35-45 mins??

[ad2000]

I commuted to Isleworth. Wasn't more then an hour and a half.

[Saffron]

slh2009 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Just re the commute....I meet a friend in Kingston

> sometimes and it takes me just over an hour to

> drive there from Sydenham....admittedly not in the

> rush hour but 3 hours sounds like a very long

> time?!

I will be commuting Lewisham-Kingston via Waterloo East, as we live near Hilly Fields. With a short bus ride at the Kingston end, this makes ~1 hr 15 min one-way, if I time it perfectly, and there are no delays. So, yes, realistically, 3 hrs in total. :(

[slh2009]

Ah yes I was thinking OP meant 3 hours each way :-)

[devsdev]

I would wait to start the job, see how you manage with the commute and also the job itself. I hope it is everything you would like it to be, but worth giving yourself some time to settle there as well before making other huge life changes.

Re: uprooting - my dad's job had us moving internationally every 3-4 years. I was quite distraught with a couple of moves (when I was 12 and when I was 16) but quickly adjusted. As long as family life is stable and you are all happy, little Saff will be just fine. I think the parents find all the changes a lot harder to deal with. So if you are OK with any changes then she will be too.

In terms of school run, are there any childminders in your area who drop off to/pick up from the school? If you're in Hilly Fields then SE23 Mums or SE4 Families on FB might be able to help there. You could also ask about your working hours so you could do early morning starts and leave by 4pm to be home at a reasonable time. Or work from home once or more times a week? Lots of options to help the process, but depends on the employer of course.

Good luck!

[vez]

I would start the job and see if you like it before making huge upheavals like moving house, changing schools etc. I once started a new job for which I had to move abroad (pre children) and it didn't work out. I didn't like the job, manager was horrible, it was just not right.

I don't want to come across all negative but these things do happen sometimes.