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Blushes and help please


bbkings

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toast Wrote:

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> Get a dog or borrow a kid. Then you can get

> talking to anyone.


Especially, as Frankie B says, if you get your kid to wear a "My mum is dead" T shirt

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I think we need to work the dog back into the narrative on the second date - which should surely be dinner at "hers".


We could go 1980s sitcom and have it take an immediate and savage dislike to bbkings, perhaps tearing out the crotch of his trousers and revealing some inappropriate undergarments in the process.


Or maybe go the other way, and have the dog take an amorous position upon bbkings' leg below the table, while bbkings tries to make polite conversation above. As he attempts to shake the dog off, he accidentally catches it in the face with his foot, leading to the dog squealing and running away. The date, of course, has seen nothing of this, and accuses bbkings of being cruel to her dog. Dinner ends early, she never wants to see bbkings again and the credits roll.

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Oh yes, lady Vizsla has invited me to a dinner party tomorrow night.


At hers? You simply must have a collision with a butcher's delivery boy on a bicycle just before stepping into her house. As a result, unbeknownst to you, the pocket of your trousers will contain several link sausages, making your groin irresistible to the Visla and leading to several comedy mishaps throughout the evening.


Final shot will be the dog running off with a trail of sausages dangling from your crotch, while your hostess swoons onto the floral sofa. Credits.

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  • 3 weeks later...

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