Londonmix sent me a private message to call me a 'jerk'

[gillandjoe]

Londonmix sent me a private message in response to something I posted on a thread. I was told to 'stop being a jerk'. While I laughed at the embarrassing use of the word 'jerk', I was actually shocked to have been subjected to a typical form of cyberbullying! Londonmix, are you not a responsible adult, with children to set an example for? If you want to call peope names, do it in the public forum so others can see what you're really like. I have reported you to the administrator and if I receive anything else personally abusive from you, I will endeavour to have you barred.

[Otta]

Was it in response to this?

gillandjoe Wrote:

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> Some of you sound utterly ridiculous talking about

> 'surviving' and 'living through' your completely

> unnecessary displays of wealth and extravagance.

> Honestly! Have some shame.

Which is a bit unnecessary wouldn't you say?

And cyberbullying? Really?

[LondonMix]

Yes, Otta it was in response to that. I said "Stop being a jerk. Living in a house that is having major structural work carried out is hardly easy."

This was a thread on which people were sharing tips on the best way to live in house during major structural work with your children. If this were a real life conversation, GillandJoe would NEVER have the balls to say that to people's face because the reaction she would have gotten would have been a lot sharper than what I said.

This forum is becoming thoroughly unpleasant and I'm getting rather irritated by people being needlessly rude and unkind to people for no reason as I believe GillandJoe was doing. The only reason I PM'd you was because I thought you might be trolling for attention and didn't want to provide that attention on the public forum and distract from what was otherwise a very useful thread.

For that reason above, I will say absolutely nothing more to you about this. People can judge for themselves.

ETA: As most of you know, I am American. 'Jerk' in America is more akin to git than anything else and isn't particularly offensive (at least where I'm from).

[westdulwichmama]

Even though I don't agree with Londonmix having sent you a message calling you a "jerk", I have to stand by her side on the rest.

Gillandjoe, I believe that your response to the thread was also shocking, unhelpful and unpleasant.

[DaveR]

Taking it/dishing it out.

[gillandjoe]

Ah yes, you must all stick together on this. Some self-reflection would be far too upsetting!

In my original post, I was commenting on the type of language some people were using - you know - 'first world problems'. I wasn't criticising anyone needing advice or sharing tips!

I certainly don't think that it justifies being called a 'jerk' in a private message. Would you have had the 'balls' to call me a jerk to my face, Londonmix? You should take your own advice. However, I would be happy to meet up in person and have it out with you if you'd like.

[gillandjoe]

And actually 'jerk' derives from 'jerking off' - as in 'wanker'. So yes Londonmix, it is rude.

[Mark]

gillandjoe Wrote:

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> And actually 'jerk' derives from 'jerking off' -

> as in '@#$%&'.

Eugh, so is that where jerk chicken gets its name?

Not really, but it actually means "a contemptibly foolish person.", nothing to do with @#$%&ing

[intexasatthe moment]

Otta - I can't think of ANY post on the EDF that is necessary .Mine included .It's a forum ,people express views .

Londonmix - "rude and unkind" ? Yes gillandjoe was critical of other posters . Happens all the time on the EDF ,why single out this post ?

You say "GillandJoe would NEVER have the balls to say that to people's face" but send a PM calling someone names rather than expressing disaproval on the thread ? Isn't that hypocritical ?

[LondonMix]

GillandJoe- like I said, I am American and I meant 'jerk' in the American sense which is defined here.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/jerk

My comment was not meant to be any ruder than that definition. If you took it as ruder because it means something stronger to you because you are British, then I apologise for that and only that. The American term 'jerk' is not anywhere near as rude or abusive as the British term w@nk*r. Like I said, it is more akin to git and isn't very strong.

And yes, I would say it to your face (with my original American meeting) if you had said your statement to my face.

I have absolutely no desire to meet you and I have nothing else to say on the matter.

[LondonMix]

I've already explained why I pm'd and I still think that was the right thing to do. That thread shouldn't be taken off topic by this nonsense. That happens far too often and while some may enjoy it, I personally find bickering on a useful thread and taking it off topic really annoying.

Also, I think mean pointless comments like GillandJoe's are common place in the Lounge (where people are constantly spoiling for a fight) and unfortunately increasingly on the main thread but very rare in the Family Room. I hope this isn't the start of the entire EDF becoming some place for angry people to heap abuse on others who are having an otherwise productive exchange of information and support.

ETA- this really is the very last thing I have to say on this thread as I find it a thoroughly useless conversation.

intexasatthe moment Wrote:

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> Otta - I can't think of ANY post on the EDF that

> is necessary .Mine included .It's a forum ,people

> express views .

>

> Londonmix - "rude and unkind" ? Yes gillandjoe was

> critical of other posters . Happens all the time

> on the EDF ,why single out this post ?

>

> You say "GillandJoe would NEVER have the balls to

> say that to people's face" but send a PM calling

> someone names rather than expressing disaproval on

> the thread ? Isn't that hypocritical ?

[gillandjoe]

Londonmix, you absolutely cannot claim the higher ground...

"Also, I think mean pointless comments like GillandJoe's are common place in the Lounge (where people are constantly spoiling for a fight) and unfortunately increasingly on the main thread but very rare in the Family Room. I hope this isn't the start of the entire EDF becoming some place for angry people to heap abuse on others who are having an otherwise productive exchange of information and support."

...after sending me a message calling me a jerk! The hypocrisy and lack of self-awareness is actually pretty funny.

[Otta]

This is ridiculous.

But of course 8f we disagree that telling someone to atop being a jerk is cyber bullying, we're all sticking together.

Even though I've never met LondonMix or owned a house on which 5o have building work done.

[intexasatthe moment]

LondonMix - your explanation was based on a belief that gillandjoe was trolling .This seems to me to be both critical and unfounded and hardly an explanation.

Talk of gillandjoe's post in the same breath as " heaping abuse " is hardly the language of someone who seems to be saying that they prefer supportive,productive exchanges .

[hellosailor]

I think jeering at people and telling them to 'have some shame' on a thread asking for advice and helpful tips is pretty unpleasant. If you dish it out, you have to be prepared to take it..

[intexasatthe moment]

Well we all have our views don't we hellosailor ? I think it's inflamatory and aggresive to use words like "jeering " .

I don't think there's any reason to think that gillandjoe aren't prepared to "take it" .They've started this thread and also said they're happy to meet LM ( in response to the comment that they'd never express themselves face to face in the way they do on line ) .

[uncleglen]

Mark has seen the most recent South Parks then? Is this an unofficial revival of 'The Drawing Room'?

[Otta]

intexasatthe moment Wrote:

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> Well we all have our views don't we hellosailor ?

> I think it's inflamatory and aggresive to use

> words like "jeering " .

Okay you are just taking the piss now, right?

[intexasatthe moment]

No ,wrong .

[Otta]

Then you're being as much of a jerk as gillandjoe was on the other thread and I think you should probably put aside some time in which to have a word with yourself.

[*Bob*]

So this is what happens in The Family Room then?

[LondonMix]

To those wondering, I asked Admin to lounge this thread. And yes *Bob* even the family room is becoming like this now...

[dogcatdog]

if it was Littlemix who sent that message, I would be mortified

[*Bob*]

I thought it was all breastfeeding tips and battered Ikea furniture.

Just goes to show.

[Otta]

Breastfeeding has provided the forum with one of the greatest ever threads. Search "MIND SHOP" and all will be revealed. It was great.