Credit Crunch Tips

[Sue]

:))

[daizie]

Tip no. 367) Instead of boiling a kettle to fill your hot-water bottle, try urinating into it instead. Pop it into your bed about an hour before bedtime and the body-temperature wee will warm up your covers nicely!

[brum]

Tip no. 367 should include the advice to fashion an old newspaper into the shape of a funnel to avoid missing the narrow opening when filling (for ladies only)

[giggirl]

The annual Mulberry sample sale is next Tues/Weds/Thurs above the main flagship Mulberry store in Bond Street. I have an invitation that I can pass on. You will need to RSVP to the invitation or your name won't be on the list and you won't get in (they're very strict!). PM me with your email details if you want an invitation sending to you.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Morrisons have surpassed themselves: ?4 meal deal

2 x Covent Garden Tomato Soup

1 x Pork Joint 900g

1 x Pack of carrots/potatoes/brussels

1 x Strawberry Trifle (looks a bit ugh but beggars ...)

Enough for four people, though if you are as greedy with roast spuds as we are, I'd top up with a few more potatoes.

Offer ends Sat 12th.

Cooking as I type - meal review later on!

Well - for ?4 can't moan. Need to rest meat longer than usual cos high water content. Am too full to face the lurid trifle. Only two of us, so loads left over for tomorrow.

[daizie]

SAVE electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat.

[HAL9000]

Morrisons:

1kg carrots - 30p

Large swede - 30p

[daizie]

DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog or human poos in the bin bags along with your old bank statements .

[Moos]

Ha ha, Daizie, that's brilliant. Or you could ask any workmen that come to your house to poo in the bin...

[woofmarkthedog]

HAL9000 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Morrisons:

> 1kg carrots - 30p

> Large swede - 30p

Is there a "winning recipe" to go with these ingredients

W**F

[daizie]

OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books, simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.

[HAL9000]

woofmarkthedog Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> HAL9000 Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> > Morrisons:

> > 1kg carrots - 30p

> > Large swede - 30p

>

> Is there a "winning recipe" to go with these

> ingredients

Oh yes - carrot and swede bombe! You'll need a copper pan and an AK47....

[daizie]

The best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket .

[brum]

Don't pay for sex - find a partner and have it for free!

[daizie]

LOL Brum . WOMEN: Don't waste energy faking orgasms. Most men couldn't care less anyway and you could use the saved energy to Hoover the house afterwards .

[HonaloochieB]

Enough with buying those expensive potatos from M&S in Brixton, simply cross the road, wait for the fruit and veg stallholders to 'push in' and trawl the gutters looking for spillage and ones discarded as being unfit to sell.

[HonaloochieB]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Enough with buying those expensive potatos from

> M&S in Brixton, simply cross the road, wait for

> the fruit and veg stallholders to 'push in' and

> trawl the gutters looking for spillage and ones

> discarded as being unfit to sell.

This goes for carrots too.

[HonaloochieB]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> HonaloochieB Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Enough with buying those expensive potatos from

> > M&S in Brixton, simply cross the road, wait for

> > the fruit and veg stallholders to 'push in'

> and

> > trawl the gutters looking for spillage and ones

> > discarded as being unfit to sell.

>

> This goes for carrots too.

But don't like I did go looking for parsnips. Never going to happen.

[daizie]

HaHa! SAVE on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.

[HonaloochieB]

daizie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> HaHa! SAVE on booze by drinking cold tea instead

> of whisky. The following morning you can create

> the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble

> full of washing up liquid and banging your head

> repeatedly on the wall.

If it's the LP, no harm would be done.

The CD may be different, those jewel cases could cause abrasions.

Either way, let Roger Waters know, he'll get a song or two out of the situation.

[brum]

daizie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> LOL Brum . WOMEN: Don't waste energy faking

> orgasms. Most men couldn't care less anyway and

> you could use the saved energy to Hoover the house

> afterwards .

You just not had much luck, daizie. Besides, having real ones would mean you wouldn't give a toss about hoovering the bleedin house anyway...

Here's a tip - avoid heating up water for your hot water bottle. Just use cold water straight from the tap, then lie on the bottle all night. In the morning - hey presto! A nice hot hot water bottle.

[daizie]

MAKE your own inexpensive mints by leaving blobs of toothpaste to dry on a window sill. Use striped toothpaste to make humbugs.

[brum]

Ingenious. Mints to enjoy yet clean your teeth at the same time.

[Townleygreen]

Sex is essentially free.

Go for it.

[daizie]

DON'T waste money buying expensive binoculars; simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.