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Toilet Habits


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Spartacus Wrote:


>> Gentlemen

> Do you shake, wipe or waggle ?

> If there are three urinals, and no one there,

> which would you use ?

> If there is someone in the middle, would you use

> the one either side ?

> Do you prefer not to pee in public ?

The difference between shaking and waggling being?

The one on the right, obviously.

The one on the right, obviously. But I'd give him one of my looks.

By 'in public', do you mean al fresco?

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JoJo09 Wrote:


> *shudders at the memory of primary school

> greaseproof paper-style toilet experiences*


> It didn't ABSORB! Just moved it around!


It was called IZAL & when rested over a plastic comb it made a great musical instrument ( well, like a cheap Kazoo) if you hummed through tight lips

Oh please don't go there, you know lips & tight la la


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Oh and W H Auden liked to p122 into his kitchen sink

The original draught of his famous poem went as follows

Stop all the clocks, get out your co*ks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, Silence the pianos and with muffled drum , tighten your bum, on tip toes release the flow, into the kitchen sink I go....

But his publisher "Armitage Shanks" would have none of it, they told Auden "it's crap, what business do you think we are in ?"

And the rest is history of course, with Auden disappearing into complete obscurity, while "Shanks" dominate to this day


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That's a very good question.

Urinal technology being what it is, I think you'd have to jet piss at an optimium angle and velocity to achieve anything above the usual (and unavoidable) level of piss splash - in which case it's not something that you'd do 'by accident'.

So if somebody is splashing piss around on purpose or, say, wiping their bum on the mirror, you might have to say something. Or at least move a little further away and try not to catch their eye.

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I'd say about 90% of it is probably your own. Let me explain.

If you don't get your bell-end close enough to the urinal wall, it's possible you could cascade a waterfall of piss straight down to the bottom, causing a major piss droplet splash and a most unseemly din.

However, in leaning the old chap in to avoid said guttering of piss, you fall foul of the fine misting.

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